I need some advice.

I'm not new here, but I wanted to change my name/profile so you wouldn't know who I am. Please don't ask.

My issue is this. I have been married for 14 years now, and we have two children. Our sex life still remains wonderful and fulfilling, nothing missing.

But lately I have been fantasizing about a few things - namely about giving and receiving a handjob w/another guy, having my cock sucked by a guy, and actually sucking a guys cock myself.

I don't have any interest in being "gay" - I don't find men attractive at all, and certainly don't want any anal play or kissing.

I'm just intrigued by the idea of playing (jerking/sucking) with a cock.

I have NO idea how to tell this to my wife - I know she would flip out. I'm very outspoken against gays (that's another post) - and I know she would see this as me being "gay". I don't know if I should tell her.

The urge is there though, to experiment. And it's strong.

I don't have any specific questions, but am looking for any suggestions that any of you may have to offer (male or female).

Thank you for reading.
A.C.

I am trying very very hard to suppress my instinctive desire to ask you what you imagine being "gay" is....or if this new twist in your fantasy life has changed your outspoken views. It's not relevant, you ask a very important question. I'm going to focus on that. I am, however, gonna leave this preamble in, just to plant the ideas in your head. I think they're important too.

Anyway....I don't think there's anything at all unusual about your fantasies. They're actually surprisingly common among heterosexual men, in the same way that "straight" women are sometimes a little curious about other women. And for the record, I HATE all those damned compartmentalizing titles....but there you go. Different rant. The girl on girl curiosity is more accepted, so more easily admitted. Here, I think you guys have done yourselves a frustrating disservice.

Part of me thinks the answer is always always always communication, though. Since I don't know who you are (and for the record, I'm gonna be damned surprised if she doesn't recognize you, should she hang out here...writing style is like a scent, we know the ones we love even when they don't sign their names) I don't know how open and accepting she'd be. If you think she'd take the kids and file for divorce, well, maybe it's a fantasy you'd best enjoy on your own. And that can be done.

If you want to talk to her about it, though (and it sounds like you do)...I think you're going to have to bring it up somehow. If you watch porn together, or recommend stories to each other, you might bring home something that has some light guy on guy stuff (Wyndhy had a wonderful one a while back)...and let her SEE how it effects you, even if you can't manage to say "that's hot." Or, if she's at all bi-curious, you could come to the subject through her. Show her something that maybe turns HER on in a way she didn't expect, and then go for a "yeah, I know how you feel" approach.

As far as ACTING on the urge, though....I wouldn't. Not unless you've really really really talked with your wife. Cheating is cheating to us girls, and I'm guessing you haven't got an open relationship to start with. I'm guessing she might be more upset if you did it with a guy, than if she caught you with another woman (although I'm showing my anti-anti-gay prejudice here, she might just be pissed off generally, as I would).

G

i think ginger hit it on the head so ill just say that i sympathize w u and hope what she said helps a bit

~nikki

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Ginger, as usual, has spoken well on the matter. The video idea is a very good one, and may serve to let your wife in on the fantasy you're having. Or mayhaps it will give you a clear signal that this one is to be enjoyed by yourself. Good luck and please let us know if you are able to bring it up with her.

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(thank you ginger). i can't add anything more. ginger gives the kind of advice that should be taken.
but if you are truly interested in the story i feel compelled to tell you the title. it's an experimental vacation. at least i think that's the one she meant 'cause the other guy/guy story i wrote (title;something more) is very explicit. even i was shocked to find a story like that lived inside me.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I know someone else who is having those same thoughts as you. It's not the guy per se. It's the cock thats turns you on.

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THAT'S the one, Wyndhy. Thanks for clearing it up.

Mrs. WI is well aware of my theory that inviting someone else into our bedroom would work out best if it were another couple so that no stones would be left unturned. Unturned? Who am I kidding? They'd be polished by the time we'd be done!

She's not uncomfortable with discussing this fantasy because she's pretty sure it'll never happen. Sometimes the concept turns her on, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, she still knows it kinda appeals to me so she plays along. Mrs. OneHungLo may be quick to point out that though fellating another man doesn't make you a homosexual...it's definately a homosexual act. Not that labels mean anything. Do you rent porno at all? Is it possible to rent two movies; one with a cool sexy hetero title and one with MMF bisexual content...then switch the boxes so it appears that "some dumbass put a bi movie in our cool sexy movie box!"? That will be totally transparent if you never rent porn though. ha ha If she's anything like Mrs. WI, we'd watch it anyway, I mean bottom line is there's two guys and a girl. Even if the guys do stuff to each other...they're still doing stuff to the girl too. It appears less wrong when there's a lady present. Well, that's what I tell myself. lmao

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

i'm a happily married mwm, two kids, never look at guys, love looking at girls, love sex with wife, but am really into cocks.

its ok it is just sex, u need to unpick why u are worried about the gay stuff and what is real and what is prejudice?

good luck

wildeye