I'd say you're just in good company. Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Andy Kaufman, Sam Kinison, ect. come to mind...

And to the naysayers of humor, I say "joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!"

Thanks for the support guys

I guess what I find more frustrating than "normal people" finding my humour offensive is when friends, or who I would have thought were friends. I'm just kind of sick of explaining myself to "friends" who don't get it in an effort to stop them going off in a huff, which seems to be futile anyway.

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

If you cannot shock those who know you, you're not trying hard enough.

We "shockers" often take unusual stances to force the people around us

to look at the world from new perspectives.

Those who can are the ones who see the joke, those who can't . . . . .

If we are being offensive just because we can, we are being unworthy of

ourselves.

Shock on!!

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

OF---How True! Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Much of it depends. If you know someone doesn't appreciate that sort of humor, why tell it around them? What good does it do you to intentionally cause unpleasantness?

I am deeply offended by death humor. I saw my mother killed when I was six. I saw one fiance after he had shot himself in the head. I had to identify another lover when he was in a car accident and there was barely anything to distinquish. These things cause deep anquish for me, they touch me in a profound and deep way.

Yet, I do not tell people this. Should I have to explain to a friend why death humor hurts me so deeply? Is this person much of a friend if they cannot simply accept that it hurts me deeply, and profoundly offends me, unless I tell them exactly why? And worse, if they know why, but persist, are they a friend?

I am simply giving you a different view. I cannot find 'death humor' to be funny. Being cruel and unfeeling towards me by making those jokes and comments won't change that. But it will hurt me, destroy the friendship, and in the end simply make the 'friend' look insensitive and brutal.

My point is that you never know why they are offended. You may be hitting a raw and painful emotional wound. Saying you are doing it for their own good is an excuse to be insensitive and cruel. Does it hurt you to not tell those jokes around them? Does it take something valuable away from your life to be considerate of them? If you do not tell those jokes around that person, have you LOST your sense of humor? What does it cost you to care about the feelings of others?

sweetlady,

If we held our tongues for fear of touching raw nerves, we would all have taken vows of

silence.

While we need to show care to not deliberately trample on the feelings and sensitivities

of others, to hold tight is a betrayal of our place in life (and this forum).

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

How would anyone know that you were offended,by such things,unless you
told them?Everyone,is different,but they can't read your mind! Irish

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

apparantly, these people have told him they are offended, or at least that was my interpretation.

I don't find it that hard to not be inconsiderate of others. A simple, obvious example might be to not make black jokes around your black friend (simply as a clear and obvious point) who is offended by them. That's not too much to ask, nor is it difficult, and it's nothing more or less than simple courtesy. Or telling gay jokes around your gay friend who is offended by them. Why is this so complicated and unmanageable? That makes no sense to me.

I mean, maybe I am misunderstanding and he's not telling jokes he already knew or pretty much guessed would offend, if so, then my points are invalid, because they are based on the idea he is making jokes around long time friends who he should know what kind of sense of humor they do (or don't) have.

Humor does not necessarily refer to telling jokes. It may simply refer to what someone does or does not find funny. I would not tell a joke that I could not tell to *any* friend, be they gay, black, female, or whatever. That does not mean that I won't find many things funny, even things that make me say, "Now that's just wrong".

People are responsible for their own baggage and the world is not going to conform so as not to offend or cause them pain. As a friend, I would grow uncomfortable talking about any topic that caused another pain, but I would not avoid it. People have to deal with it, I've had to deal with my traumas, and I sure as hell would not expect the world to change just cause I was hurt. The world does not revolve around me, shocking, but true.

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If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
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Lilith---One of my closest friends,in Conn,is black.I would constantly,tell him
black jokes & he would do the same with Irish jokes.It all depends on who is saying it to whom.Heaven help anyone else,that said them.I always say things to my daughters,that if anyone else said them,they'd be the grass &
I'd be the lawnmower!My wife says things to me ,that if anyone else said them,she'd,probably kick their asses! Irish

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Interesting the double standards. "You must not treat others <this way> <that way> or < this other way >, but should you say they are not allowed to treat you that way, you are a prima donna." Consideration is for all, especially when the person has made it clear that "death jokes" are hurtful, or "sexual innuendos" make me uncomfortable, or etc. It still simply makes no sense to me why it is okay to do this to a friend? Can someone explain why you would have less consideration for friends than others?

Sweetlady,

I can really see where you're coming from with this and I'm so sorry that you've had such horrible experiences which have left their mark on you (as they would on anyone).

It's worth remembering though, that different people have different ways of handling the hurdles that they've had to overcome and a common way of doing this is by developing a sense of humour. Often people who have a lot of experience with death (or racial hatred, sexism, homophobia etc) develop a black, politically incorrect sense of humour to help them deal with those traumas. Therefore in my experience it is usually the person you'd least expect who is telling the non PC joke (e.g. my step father was born and raised in Dublin and I know no-one who tells as many Irish jokes as he does).

While I agree that if we know someone has a particular sensitivity about a certain subject, then we should be considerate of their feelings that does work both ways. When someone makes a quip or a witty retort just because they think of it at the time, that person usually means no harm and if anything the joker in the pack is the one who has insecurities and wants to be enteraining and popular. By being offended by something when you know deep down in your heart that the person is a friend and meant no harm, you're touching THEIR raw nerve about whether they are a likable person.

In this case I highly doubt that the person(s) who've upset Belial, are off on their own little website or whatever torturing themselves about Belial's light hearted comment, but look at how Belial is feeling right now.

In my humble opinion, this world doesn't work without love and friendship and that means understanding, forgiveness and giving people the benefit of the doubt. I feel I know Belial pretty well and while his humour may be risque at times, I have no doubt that he wouldn't deliberately or knowingly hurt someone's feelings - he's one of the most sensitive guys I know.

So is it right that his so called friends should 'punish' him for a perhaps misplaced or inappropriate quip? We all make mistakes, we all put out feet in it at times, and it worries me that if we spend all our time minding our Ps and Qs because there might be someone who's offended, that in fact, we won't make jokes about anything and we'll end up living in a dull humourless world.

On a personal note, the time I wish people would be considerate to what 'others might have been through' is not when they're making jokes, but when they're driving their cars. As someone who was rear ended by a lorry last year, I have since come close to having panic attacks when someone's tail gating me and once nearly caused an accident because of it. I personally feel that being sensitive to others feelings on the road is a far more important issue than being sensitive to people's feelings when indulging in light hearted banter in the pub.

That, however, ain't never gonna happen so unfortunately I'm just gonna have to get over it.

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Fruit flies like a banana"

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It's certainly not as simple as "don't tell gay jokes around your gay friends". Of the friends I have, very few - maybe a couple, who I'm not all that close with anyway - are apparently offended, and it's not any easy-to-pin-down "offensive category". It seems as if we're on completely different planets humour-wise, which is fine when I don't have to talk to them beyond the formalities of "Hi-how-are-you-still-alive-how's-work-how's-study-how's-family", etc, but if they're hanging around my other friends - who do get it - I find it difficult to think about "Oooh, mustn't offend X, she surely won't get this joke the way it's intended" when I'm in the midst of lively conversation.

__________________
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

Still doesn't sound like they're friends, just friendly aquaintances or even just "someone I hang out with," which is not the same catagory of person as is a friend.

I'll add this, as well, though. We tailor our conversations all the time to be considerate of others. You don't tell jokes about the company in front of the owner, for example. You don't scream "fire" in the theatre, even if it would be funny.

If you can hold those forms of jokes to a minimum around those friends, you aren't hurting anything. They DO have the right to tell you their boundaries and ask you not to cross them in an aggressive manner. Granted, you have the right to cross them anyhow, but the consequence may be that they begin to avoid you, and the friends you do want to see drift away with them, because through continuing it, you have forced them to choose... this friend or that one?

Also, remember this. You are the sum total of everything that you are. Because someone is offended by sexual innuendo, for example, doesn't mean they don't very clearly see your generous and friendly nature. Or your sincerity, or worthiness to be trusted. The many, varied, and endless variety of other things which make you who you are instead of someone else. Does what color you like your socks matter? Would you be heartbroken and feel rejected if the boss said, "from now on, wear blue socks."? It is a small part of your personality that you like brown socks. One small aspect of the wondrous and varied being you are. Even if you wear brown socks, you're still the same joking, easy-going, caring person. That's not changed simply because one aspect of your personality causes and abrasive friction with someone else. You retain the hopes, the dreams, the fears, the personality that you have, even if some small part of it is "no thanks" to some common aquaintances. They are not asking you to become someone else, to lose your personality. They are giving you fair, honest, and sincere warning, "If this continues, it will push me away" and face it... the others may follow.

It's a healthy boundary they are trying to establish with you. They are trying to help you to get along with them better. They are explaining how something you do feels like an aggressive attack on them and causes them great discomfort.

You can certainly choose to ignore this. You can certainly say that they are being babies and thinking everything is about them. You have the right to tell them to "suck it up" or even to "go to hell." Is it worth it? Which is easier, let that one small, insignificant part of your whole hide while they are around, or stand on "principle" of what your "rights" are, and possibly lose an entire circle of friends over it?

Keep in mind, though, when the "catagory" is not clear, then you can only do so much, and if you give it fair effort, then it becomes they who are being unreasonable, and this, your friends will see, as well, if they are intelligent and worth keeping.

Belial....... you can call me a redneck anytime you want. See if I give a shit.
Just don't call me late for supper.

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.