Perhaps I am not alone in my desire to have sex on a regular basis... I don't think that losing count is a bad thing . Instead, I am in the position where I can count how many times in this past year that I have had sex. I am seriously struggling with this on so many levels, I can't even begin to express it... But am seeking guidance & advice from all of you...

So.. My first question popping to the surface is: How much/often is a reasonable expectation? Once a week? A month? More? Less?

Looking forward to reading your comments, questions. & suggestions!

When I was with Bamakyttn we were really only able to get together every other week. I guess if you averaged it out it would have been about twice a week which was fine with me.

Since then I haven't had sex in over a year. Celibacy isn't so bad.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf

It's a question of individual dynamics, and fie on thsoe who say otherwise!

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

A little more info...

1) Regardless of the lack of sex, this isn't about love. I know with certainty that he loves me... I know this based on other things... The little things that are so important...

2) We live together and have for the last 16 months. During which time we have had sex perhaps 12 times.. 5 of which have been this year....

3) I have shared with him that Sex isn't so much about the act itself but the emotional bond, etc. I am frustrated and feel myself building walls and distancing myself.

4) Following our last "quickie", I began crying... Sobbing really... A mixture of emotional release and (for lack of better terms) confusion. This bothered him at the time... And it wasnt something I could explain to him..

So... Am I completely off the mark by wanting/needing sex more than every 6 weeks? Am I wrong for feeling a bit resentful?

Oh... In case anyone wonders if this is an age/health/stamina issue - I am 42, he is 41.

jennaflower,


Different people want/need sexual intercourse at different frequencies. What I find "often enough" may be "too often" for some and "not often enough" for others. Further, “normal” frequency for an individual may change over time.

So no, I don’t think you are off the mark at all. It does seem from what you post that there is a real disconnect between you and yours on this subject.

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Eudaimonia

Jenna, for myself when I was in my early 40's once a week was not near enough. Thank goodness I had a partner who agreed with me. To each her (or his) own, but peolpe need to find someone that they are compatable with.

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It would seem that over time emotional release, as well as physical have become entwined for you. While for him they remain separated. However, there is also the possibility that there is a physical component with him that you may be missing. Either way I agree that you are not off your mark wanting or even needing the release from sex more often.

I for one have the tendency to shut off anything I find inconvenient. The need for sex happens to be one of those things.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf

I guess suggesting hourly would be a bit much.