1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
3. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
4. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
5. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
7. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
8. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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Eudaimonia

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

A $300 picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first.

The chances of toast falling buttered-side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.