A friend sent me these and I feel much better ...

(Although, I think I've had moments like these, too. )

:grin:


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President

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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

thanks dicksbro i find them very funny, and i am glad that someone knows our imports come from somewhere else

And these are our leaders and idols.

__________________

:grin:

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

dicksbro,

I guess this shows that we're all human, with all the limititations.

__________________
Eudaimonia

It's like the time I took my kids out when they were about 12 and 14 and for dessert they wanted this mocha creation and my son asked what mocha tasted like.....the waitress said coffee and I said "Yes please".......to this day I never hear the end of it from them.