The winners have been posted:
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2023

Love the Bulwer-Lytton contest. always so much fun.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Timmy fell down the well again! OMG he’s got to be 70 something by now. Can’t they put a fence around the damn well ?

And good ‘ole Buford. Bet he put a lot of thought into his Pa’s name while he was settin around the still.

Buford The Bold was the last descendant of the proud Bold family and was particularly proud of how he chose to keep “The,” his father’s middle name.
Marc Luban, Chicago, IL

But then there;s Pete…. oh well. Plenty of fiber eh?

The oyster slid down his throat, leaving it raw and scratchy, and for my sake, thought Pete, why people considered them delicious was mysterious, though as a case in point he noticed his companions had pried theirs open and were eating only what was inside.
Joel Phillips, West Trenton, N

I think my favorite was the winner in the Crime & Detective category:
The tall, slender seductress had Tom Pauley wrapped around her little finger, and she had James McGee hanging from a necklace, but the police were still waiting for the lab results to determine whose body parts she had used to make her earrings and that stunning tennis bracelet.

Julian Calvin, Atlanta, GA

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.