Hi.

How I stop being a work aholic? It isn't so much in my habits as much as in my mind. I work a fair amount (50+) but that isn't a tremendous amount to some.

But I've over identified myself with my job. I want to change my paradigm. I want my job to be merely that - a job. I want to be good at, and I want to contribute well, but I want to stop living it all the freakin' time.

I just got a demotion (I am a manager) and it doesn't impact my pay, just my ego.

I am seriously thinking of taking the severance...with no options (I don't have another job lined up and I am the breadwinner in my family). What is wrong with me. This is a no brainer. Check the ego at the door. Take the demotion and move on. I make good $.

How do I get my life back in order?

I seriously think this is an addiction. Over identified with work.

Help? Advice?

Thanks



Help?

If you ask me who I am I say a teacher so obviously I'm no help.

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Don't react in a knee-jerk manner.

Find another job which you will enjoy which will meet the needs of your commitments.

Take your time, find the right one, and just when your current employer thinks that he's got away with it, smile sweetly and walk away.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Thank you OF. I always appreciate your perspective. Lots of good life experience well summarized.

The whole thing just sucks though. I work my ass off and I know I'm solid. On the one hand, I don't actually mind the job change (lots of problems adding up and the environment is really hard) but I don't like the demotion aspect and I am not a big fan of the job they are sending me too. Although I can do it, and am good at it. I just wish I wanted to do it. It's also really disappointing that they aren't giving me a chance with the new regime. The whole thing just sucks.

Anyway, I want to use this as an opportunity to change my paradigm from live to work to work to live. Guess this is really just repeating this for my benefit.

Been there, done that. Just be a little careful, Jax, just so they don't take the changed paradigm to mean, "well we demoted him so he's/she's now putting in 50%" .

Cyber Dude,

Yeah I worry about that as well especially since I wouldn't be surprised if there is a larger re-org coming...meaning more layoffs....so who knows, this may all have the same result anyways.

Tell me more about your "been there done that." Part of my current mindset is that this all just sucks. But I know we all have our challenges in life. And this situation, all things considered is simply irritating. People have far bigger challenges in their lives than this.

But it still sucks and stings.

I've always looked at my job as a means to an end. I work for a specific company to be able to try and get in with a better company, and from there to an even better company. The only reason I want this is because I want the house, and the restored old cars, and to be able to do a few other things on the list.

I can see where you got lost in thinking that the job is what you are. You need to widen your gaze and see WHO you are. Father, husband, friend, etc. Some, like Lilith, are lucky in that they have a true passion/calling for something that is so much more to the world.

In my opinion, you should take the demotion and see what happens when the dust settles. As long as the pay remains the same, financially you should be fine. Take the time do some searching into what you really want.

__________________
"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf