Havent read all the replies but can throw in my 5 cents.

First, you say you have no kids which is very important.

Second, you say you are atrracted (bluntly in love) to another woman and you believe she feels same.

Dude, I've been through this but in some different ways.

My 5 cents, since you do not have kids, just tell her (your wife) what you feel. Of course she will not confront it easily but you will be the one to tell the truth.

This is my second marriage and I am very glad that I have been divorced and married my current wife. Don't fear..

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I always wanted to fuck reality but reality always fucked me before.
Angels in America