02-22-2003, 07:06 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Hmmmmmm...a thought
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the worlds a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why aren't haemorrhoids called 'asteroids'?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
If the black box is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of the stuff?
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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02-22-2003, 07:21 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Whose cruel idea was it for he word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why are they called buildings, when they are already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Tell a person that there are 4000 billion stars and they'll believe you. Tell them the bench has wet paint and they have to touch it.
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use it?
What do little birdies see when knocked senseless?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
They best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. What happens at your work station?
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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02-22-2003, 07:53 AM
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hellsbells's Stallion
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,573
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now this has made my saturday, ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!
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Rain: Liquid Sunshine!
Life's A Bitch, but I Deal withit!!
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02-22-2003, 09:46 AM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,565
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LOL....loved this.........
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02-22-2003, 10:33 AM
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Mooooo!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 830
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"I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults".
~ Gore Vidal
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02-22-2003, 10:48 AM
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dragon mane
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: uk manchester
Posts: 778
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If the black box is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of the stuff?
also why is it called a black box when it isnt black?
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02-22-2003, 11:05 AM
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Soft & Silky CD
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 1,846
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ROFL ... Good ones, Sharni!
__________________
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
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02-22-2003, 11:06 AM
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Everybody Stretch!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pa. USA
Posts: 11,637
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Why isn't Phonics spelled like it sounds?
If an exciting discovery is "The best thing since sliced bread".....what was better before sliced bread?
We know the speed of light........What is the speed of dark?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
How do you tell when you are out of invisible ink?
If Barbie is so popular....why do we have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death...twice?
Why do psychics have to ask what your name is?
Why aren't ALL psychics rich?
If you spin an oriental person around in circles.....does he get disoriented?
When you shut your computer down.....Why do you have to go to Start?
When your eyeglass prescription runs out.....do you go blind?
OMG Shar! I had to add a few....and I love your list! Too funny hun!
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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.
~Thomas Dewar~
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02-22-2003, 11:28 AM
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Pixie since 9/3/2001
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 16,995
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Hmmmmmmmmmm let me think about this
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Growing older is manditory, growing up is optional
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02-22-2003, 01:33 PM
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Turning the other cheek!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Trinidad
Posts: 674
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I wouldn't say that I'm always horny... it may be true, mind you, I just wouldn't say it!
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02-22-2003, 02:31 PM
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Pixies Horse Widower
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 9,421
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 Loved 'em Sharni!! Thanx!!
DM
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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind
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02-22-2003, 07:24 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 75
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The most ridiculous sporting event i ever saw was the solo synchronised swimming at the last olympics.
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02-22-2003, 11:59 PM
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smiling
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: lowell
Posts: 279
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Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? aha this one i know...it's so i can say off-hand i don't know
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i'm funnier looking
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02-28-2003, 10:57 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"
Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why! do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same! tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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03-01-2003, 07:57 AM
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Failed voyeur*
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the shadows watching you
Posts: 3,650
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sharniqua
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"
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It was the first person to think "what's that calf getting that's so good" 
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*it's all Christine's fault
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