So I'm really struggling with this one and need some insight/support/whatever. My fiance and I are getting married the 15th. His bestman just told him today that he can plan to be kidnapped for an evening in San Francisco. The subject of bachelor parties came up the other night amongst friends, and I am really frightened by the idea. Not so much by what my man would do on his own, but by what his buddies will try to get him to do, or get him drunk enough to do. I know if the roles were revearsed the idea of me, having other men be overly sexual towards me even in a stripper setting would make him really upset, but since this is him and not me it's somehow ok. I'm really open to doing the strip club sort of thing together, but his friends like to party, and have cheating in their past, and it just really scares me. Any feedback is extremely appreciated.

Thanks,
Jenny

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OH.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct
way, and the only way, it does not exist." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Jenny, the FIRST thing to do is to make your feelings CLEARLY known to your fiance. He, in turn, must do the same thing to his best man. In my case, my brother was my best man. I made it VERY clear to him where to draw the line and that I would embarass him if he tried to go beyond it. He didn't and we still had a blast.

Bottom line is that your fiance and the best man have to set the tone.

rabbit

I agree with Rabbit.

When I got married, I kinda skipped the bachelor party thing altogether. It was a sticky issue that I didn't want to raise with my fiance, so I sidestepped it. My groomsmen were cool with it and didn't mind. Mind you we were/are close to 30, so it's not like we're a bunch of kids who think you HAVE to have a bach. party.

Just make sure you voice your concern to your fiance and see how he feels. You also have to trust him. Do you think he'll cheat? If you are really worried that he will cheat then you need to rethink lots of things. If you are worried that he will be influenced by his friends, then you are experiencing what you will have to deal with the rest of your life together. You know him better than most anyone. You know if you can trust him or not. If you don't trust him, like I said you need to rethink lots of things.

To reiterate, be honest about your feelings (always) and trust him. If he breaks your trust, then the shit will hit the fan. But don't expect the shit to hit the fan before anyone even has a handful to throw.

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"Even a man who is pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is full and bright."

If someone was giving my guy a stripper, I'd make damn sure I would be there too......
For one thing, I'd enjoy the stripper myself, and for another the bitch does more then just strip she'd be on the floor faster then she could blink

Thanks everyone, I went home and talked to him about my concerns. We believe very much in honesty and not holding things in with one another. I explained it wasn't him, that I do trust him, but that I was just uncomfortable with the idea. He invited me along! Which may not go over to well with the rest of the fellows, but doing this together seems erotic to me as well. If he can have a lap dance... why can't I? Anyways, all your words really help..

Gratefully,

Jenny

__________________
OH.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct
way, and the only way, it does not exist." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

I see it this way, you don't trust your future hubby.
if you can't trust him now, then you never will.

just make sure that you get some pics to share with the rest of us, that can't be there to see you getting your lap dance.

Good plan Jenny!

__________________
"Even a man who is pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is full and bright."

Ditto Fang. Good plan.

You are walking in a minefield.

Fang has a point, but only if you have a long established
relationship.

Either do it together, alone or don't do it at all.

Find out what you want and act on it.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

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"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes