04-26-2007, 01:34 PM
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Freeze!
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
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What is the funniest thing that has happened to you before/during or after sex?
Mine happened a long time ago. Looking back now it was actually very funny. Anyway me and my then g/f were in the mood and I went to get my clothes off and I was lying on my back and pulled my knees up to my chest, as I did that I kicked myself in the mouth with my knee.
Last edited by Mark Vieth : 04-26-2007 at 01:55 PM.
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04-26-2007, 02:14 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 1,033
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The words "help me". If I say anymore I'll be violating a very serious and sacred form of promise....
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04-26-2007, 02:26 PM
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Leo was right
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Eastern Iowa
Posts: 17,778
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My girlfriend's cat bit me in the ass and decided to take a slap at my balls.
I guess he could tell I'm a dog person.
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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.
No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac
Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."
An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"
Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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04-26-2007, 02:32 PM
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Manwhore
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 15,495
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IowaMan
My girlfriend's cat bit me in the ass and decided to take a slap at my balls.
I guess he could tell I'm a dog person.
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We routinely have several cats about during sex and I've never been bitten, let alone swatted. No good!
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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.
Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien
In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these
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04-26-2007, 02:37 PM
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Mama Mia!
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: South Louisiana
Posts: 1,884
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I cant say what it is it's that bad.
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04-26-2007, 03:25 PM
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Freeze!
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
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Oh come now cherrypie we are all friends here we won't laugh.... too much! lol
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04-26-2007, 03:28 PM
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Leo was right
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Eastern Iowa
Posts: 17,778
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Vieth
Oh come now cherrypie we are all friends here we won't laugh.... too much! lol
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Yep, if I can tell how I had "Sugar Ray Leopard" use my balls as a speed bag I'm thinking you can share your funniest moment.
__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.
No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac
Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."
An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"
Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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04-26-2007, 04:34 PM
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Always a good morning
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The US of A
Posts: 62
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I was sitting on the bed, afterwards and for reasons I can't explain, I was suddenly bounced off of the bed onto the floor.
Ass over teakettle.
I maintain that he founced the bed; he says I just flew off for no reason.
Very elegant. Very pretty. Very funny.
Sunshine
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04-26-2007, 06:12 PM
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Melted
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,670
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Hey sunshine! My story is almost the same! I was sitting nekkid on the end of the bed right after sex, and he said something funny and I threw my head back to laugh. Well, maybe a bit too far back. "Ass over teakettle" describes it pretty well!!!!!!
I was laughing soooooooooooooo hard and he was just lost - "Are you ok??? What did you do???" Me -
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Si à travers nos veines coule encore le sang...
Si dans les jeux d'enfants on entend encore l'accent...
Si nous sentons encore l'espoir de nos grands-parents...
Si dans les voiles du large souffle encore le vent...
Y'a jamais eu de Grand Dérangement.
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04-26-2007, 06:36 PM
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Mama Mia!
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: South Louisiana
Posts: 1,884
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okay, well I just warn..this is NASTY. At the time it wasnt funny but it sure as hell is funny to me now
I had been seeing a guy for about 4 months and we were fucking like bunnies all the time. He went out of town for a while and when we finally got together again we had some great sex, and afterwards he was going to eat me out....
Well...I had JUST came off my period and as all women can tell you sometimes things do nto return to normal for a couple of days. I warned him. I said "no honey don't--" but i was too late and he was down there just eating his heart out. Then suddenly, he bolts up and darts out of the room. I was like...oh no.
He explained to me he had accidentally..um..eaten a little clot. I was totally mortified. Then, five days later, I found out he had been cheating on me for a month. Then I was like "well, take that you little bastard prick" LOL
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04-27-2007, 01:51 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Broward County, Florida
Posts: 158
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I had an ex that we couldn't do it doggie style because she would pussy fart/quiff(sp) so much. It would literally be every stroke in and out. Guess it had to do with how our parts fit together and she was always VERY wet, and I'm on the thick side. It kind of sucked because we both liked doggie, but we couldn't stop laughing when we tried to do it because it was so bad.
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04-27-2007, 09:56 AM
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is not this trim anymore!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 21,709
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We were having sex in one of her favorite positions (her on her side & me straddling one leg while the other was wrapped around my side, leaving one hand free to manipulate her clitoris and the other to rub her tush). We were very close to climax when we heard a noise at the door. It was locked, but there's always that moment of doubt & horror. We saw a piece of paper slid under the door into our room. Obviously, we disengaged. I went over to get the note & laughed out loud when I read that it was from our youngest son and said "I'm outside your door, standing guard".
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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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04-27-2007, 10:53 AM
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Mama Mia!
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: South Louisiana
Posts: 1,884
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildIrish
We were having sex in one of her favorite positions (her on her side & me straddling one leg while the other was wrapped around my side, leaving one hand free to manipulate her clitoris and the other to rub her tush). We were very close to climax when we heard a noise at the door. It was locked, but there's always that moment of doubt & horror. We saw a piece of paper slid under the door into our room. Obviously, we disengaged. I went over to get the note & laughed out loud when I read that it was from our youngest son and said "I'm outside your door, standing guard".
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OMG!!! LMAO!
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04-27-2007, 10:54 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 302
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I don't know why it was so funny but a wheel fell off the bed. No big deal but we got so laughing so hard about it that we never finished what we had started.
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04-27-2007, 11:17 AM
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Always a good morning
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The US of A
Posts: 62
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Serves him right, but that's seriously gross. lol. That just affirms my decision to not have that done for a couple of days after. My worst nightmare. lol. I'm sure if he had been a loyal boyfriend, that never would've happened. It was just karma biting him in the butt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cherrypie7788
He explained to me he had accidentally..um..eaten a little clot. I was totally mortified. Then, five days later, I found out he had been cheating on me for a month. Then I was like "well, take that you little bastard prick" LOL
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My stories are:
Anticipation ,
Shower Sex, Can't talk now -- All tied up, You and Me and a Crotchless Teddy, Evening Romp, Potty Naughties, Beach House Sex, A Sexy Show, Slippery Sex, Home Early For Lunch, Unbelievably Nice, A Very Romantic Evening, Cum for Me, Sexual Treasure Hunt,
Anything you say...., Better Than the Movies...., The Stars were Perfectly Aligned, The Most Perfect Trip Ever, Naughty Karate, Long Distance Get Together, The Whole Shebang
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