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  #1  
Old 07-12-2004, 01:45 PM
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big_yin big_yin is offline
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Lost Love

As all of you who know me are aware I haven't been here fior a while due to my pending divorce and all the crap that creates. Within all this I met someone else (after I had separated incase some of you are wondering) who I thought was the girl of my dreams. She said the exact same, but now only after a few weeks in which time I totally got blown away by her she tells me its over and that i am a selfish self centred person. I would have done anything for her (and still would) and cant get her out of my head. i was not looking for any type of relationship and this one took my breath away. I`m now totally heartbroken and don't have a clue what to do. Any suggestions???? I believe I love her with all my heart. She spoke to me tody and it seemed as if there was a slight chance of working things out, then she blew me out totally. What do I do??????
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Old 07-12-2004, 01:57 PM
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Love sucks.... I know you give your heart away easily Yin...and I hope nothing ever changes that. But if you lay it out there, it's likely to get squashed. That's the risks we take but the ones who come along and make it flutter and treat it tenderly, can repair all the damage the squashers inflict. ((hugs)) There are a zillion other flutterbies in the sky.
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  #3  
Old 07-12-2004, 02:05 PM
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Irish Irish is offline
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To use an old saying "It takes two to tango"!That doesn't only include
dancing! Irish
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Old 07-12-2004, 02:22 PM
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celticangel celticangel is offline
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Hugs honey!
Give yourself time~~~things will get better
Yeah, I know~~~just words, but from a lassie who has seen it done it and still has the emotional scars!!!
Good luck!xxxxxx
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Old 07-12-2004, 04:21 PM
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Steph Steph is offline
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Why did she say you were self-centred? Were you talking about your ex and the separation a lot?I don't know the situation but I'm guessing she might have felt like the rebound relationship . . .
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Old 07-12-2004, 06:00 PM
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jennaflower jennaflower is offline
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I can only offer you a ((((Hug)))) and an ear... and my hopes that you will recover from this soon...

EVERYTHING happens for a reason.... SOMETIMES that is a bitter pill to swallow... have faith.. in yourself.. the one who is meant to (and WILL) treasure you forever is out there... and she will find you...
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Old 07-12-2004, 06:31 PM
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big_yin big_yin is offline
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thanks everyone. I knew that if I spoke about this here I could trust honest responses. Lilith there is always a smile on my face when i see a butterfly (and I make a good indian meal!) Jennaflower, thanks; Steph, no not really but she had had a crappy time in the past 2, thats y I thought it would work for us she knew what i was going thru, or at least i thought she did! Irish cheers mate! Celticangel, it still bloody hurts tho eh??
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Old 07-12-2004, 07:29 PM
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Sending you hugs!!! Keep your chin up.
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  #9  
Old 07-12-2004, 07:56 PM
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{{{{{{{{{{{Yin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I know your heart and I think you deserve the very best! That said...I have to again question her saying you are "self centered". She does realize you are technically a rebound love...doesn't she...and don't you? Quite possibly...you might be going on and on about YOU and your recent pain (ie:divorce, lost love, failure in marriage) and she is listening, but she'd rather focus on you and her!

Come here (to Pixies) and get it all off your chest if you must...but spare your new love any more rhetoric. In time you'll be able to talk about your past in a less passionate way...and just let her know the "you" then...and not the "you in love" then!

I love you hun, and you know I am so glad to see you posting again...but you know you want honesty...and I'm all about that!

PM me anytime! I'm just so happy to see you post! I wish you the best in your new relationship. Just know...I...and we (Pixies)...are always here for you...ALWAYS!!!!
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  #10  
Old 07-14-2004, 07:24 PM
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big_yin big_yin is offline
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Thanks everyone.
Lixie ~ honesty is good! But no I didn't that I know of. She did!!!!
Imaginewithme ~ I got them and I feel sooooo much better!

Update is that its def over so i am just looking after number 1 at the mo!
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  #11  
Old 07-14-2004, 10:21 PM
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Loulabelle Loulabelle is offline
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Big Yin,

First of all it's soooo lovely to see you back here - hopefully we'll see much more of you around now.

Secondly, if you are truly being honest with yourself when you say you've not been acting self centred, it sounds to me like your new love isn't ready to be in a relationship just yet. It sounds to me like she has issues regarding the way she's been treated in the past, and she's transferring on to you the issues she had with her ex(es). She may be at a point in her life where no matter how much attention is bestowed on her by another, that person is still going to seem self centred in her eyes, as she's not really looking at the reality of the situation, she's looking at a sort of warped version of it as her scars have not yet healed from past relationships.

If you think this could be true, then unfortunately she needs time alone to sort her head out - that might mean that you and she can never be, or it might be that you need to wait for her, only time will tell.

Finally, I believe that there are people who come into our lives, who often have a huge impact from the moment they arrive. They are people who change everything, turn our lives upside down and make us re-evaluate our whole existence. As much as we want to cling to these people, it's as though they're angels, who drift into our lives and then drift out again, helping us through a difficult time in our lives, and helping us to grow. Sometimes it can be the most heart breaking, frustrating thing in the world that we can't hold on to them, but they were never meant for holding on to. They're purpose in your life is one of a more profound yet fleeting nature. Perhaps she's one of your angels, in which case be glad that she came, not sad that she's gone.
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  #12  
Old 07-14-2004, 10:27 PM
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nikki1979 nikki1979 is offline
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(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) i wish i was there for ya hun, i hate that ur going tho all this wout mysholder !!! ill be back soon hun and i cant wait to be ur sholder again!!!! it will get better and trust me hun, she must damn crazy cuz i know ur a wonderfull man!!! ill be ther for ya soon

nikki

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  #13  
Old 07-15-2004, 06:17 PM
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big_yin big_yin is offline
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lou thanks for the warm welcome!! You are very right in what you say, i do think she hasd serious issues with her ex(es) and I got the brunt of it! looking a lot clearer now as the days go on and I think what we had was great, but as you say, she is a wee angel to have been there and gone improving my life in the process. Nikki1979, I`ll be awaitin!
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