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  #1  
Old 07-06-2001, 02:29 PM
cowboy
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Post Ladies advice needed, why no interest?

We had sex in 3 hours of meeting, very hot, whipped cream, sexy talk, she very aggressive. After 1 year now sex has dropped to once biweekly. Despite backrubs, constant compliments of how beautiful she is, doing all I can to help around her home, treating her like a queen w/conscienceious efforts, nothing works. All she wants to do is cuddle at night. Even snapping at me not to touch her, closing her legs tightly even during caresses, refusing oral sex on her which she loved. She will dress sexy, grope, make eyes and suggestive comments often open flirtatious but never comes to futation. When sex actually happens she seems generally cold wanting me to cum quickly while I've always been a romantic. Size isn't an issue as she often commented I should have been a porno star. I'm a one lady man turning away interested parties. I'm told I'm always smiling and joking. No relationship has every been like this. I've graciously turned away a few of her friends that insist I'm wonderful and deserve better. I'm flattered but reply, she is in my heart and I lover her. I've questioned if she liked women but she aggressively makes a face saying that's discusting. Asking what really excites her, she says she likes porno movies which I've tried several times but she seems very uninterested even then. She says her job tires her out but it's the same job she had when we met. I'm now lonely, frustrated and efforts to talk are short with a scarstic "Oh poor guy." It's wearing on the relationship now. What's a man to do? She 53, me 47.
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  #2  
Old 07-06-2001, 03:36 PM
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MrCuriousUSA MrCuriousUSA is offline
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Unhappy Check this out tactfully-

Cowboy- you indicated your lady is 53, is it possible she is in some phase of menopause? My situation with my wife got almost exactly like you describe, going from her enjoying sex to avoiding it, even though she showed she still loved me in every other way you can imagine. It turned out some of her medical problems caused her to go into menopause in her early 30's and it took a couple of years before things started normalizing. Her other health problems kept her from ever getting like a nympho again, but many women say they get hornier than ever before in their lives once they get past menopause. If she is your true love, just keep on loving her and being patient, and hopefully things will improve. Pixies Place is a great place to find lots of sexy fun for yourself while you are short-changed at home ;-)

God bless! MrCuriousUSA
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  #3  
Old 07-06-2001, 05:17 PM
cowboy
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Post menopause, I've wondered?!

MrCuriousUSA - Thanks for the reply. Menopause ... I have discussed this with her and she said she has talked with her doctor who did some test and said this wasn't the case. I still suspect it from her behavior which is magnified from excessive drinking. I have tried very hard to be patient but suspect there might be more problems than the sex thing.

We actually broke up 2 days ago. I had her over to my home to watch a pay per view movie. She wanted some ice-cream which sounded good to me after a long day. She had rested on the couch all afternoon and early evening, stressed and tired from new medication. While she slept I took care of her birds (Macaw and African Grey) cleaned cages, watered and fed them, the cat and her kennels downstairs where she has 9 German Pinchers. Cleaned the kennels, let the dogs out to run in pairs, fed and watered them, finally working out front landscaping across the front of her property. Yes ice-cream sounded good. I went out for ice cream only to come back and find out she went through my home, personal and business mail, opened letters, looked at pics in drawers, picture packages, some from my trip to Fla that were innocent enough from Bush Gardens with an internet lady friend and her family whom I have know for 3 years, farmed out graphic work to. It was very innocent and not the point of the trip. Actually my girlfriend went off on a rant and broke up with me 2 weeks prior to the trip. She also read an enclosed letter my internet friend sent with the pics, mentioning a gift she forgot to give me and how much she loved me. I have always been open with my girlfriend about this internets friends' advances and feelings towards me just as another friend of hers had done. I was called me a liar about that as well until I showed her the letters.
My girlfriend saw this neat wire man holding a surfboard from PR sitting on my shelf and assumed that was the gift mentioned in the letter and asked me about it. I told her that Deb my internet friends daughter had given it to me knowing I use to live in Fla and surfed. She delivered it when she came to the states with her new husband in Jan. Oddly, my girlfriend has seen it before so I was a bit shocked at her accusation. My internet friends' gift was something else all together.

My girlfriend called me a bold face liar, raised hell and stomped out after telling me how she looked through my business folders, cabinets, letters both business and personal, my dresser drawers, etc . I have nothing to hide but my privacy should be respected just as I do her's at her home. I told her she could see anything she wanted in my home if she asked but not to sneak while I was away then make assumptions.

We went back to her place as my car was there. She promptly told me to get my clothes out of her home. I gathered my stuff and got the hell out of there. I was pissed but held my kewel and express my feelings about her going through my home like that. After gathering my things, listening to her tell me she was going to go away with some fellow, take pics and I would never know if she screwed him or not. I told her to grow up and left.

The next morning she had a lady friend that lives 4 houses down from me knock on my door and ask for my girlfriends key. Explaining I would deliver the key later she said no, she had a few items I left behind which I would get when I gave her the house key. I gave her the key, in return received 2 framed pics of me, a beautiful heart necklace with baggett diamonds given a Christmas and the dirty clothes from working in the yard the previous day, washed but wet still. (Now I know how my ex knew when I came and went, announcing times and such which was only for shopping or dealing with clients.)

Yes, there is more going on than the lack of sex I think and unfortunately I feel the relationship is over. She has constantly lied, cheated, unfairly accused me, brought up stupid stuff, the last straw was her invasion of my privacy by going through my home like she did last night. Because I felt Menopause or stress from work and sick parents might be the trouble I've been patient, tried to relieve her of work around her home. I suspect drinking and medication comes into play. :-(( I haven't heard from her in 3 days now.

I'm comfortable with myself as a person and my integrity. Having grown through many challenges and disabiling accident I've learned patience and understanding. That's most important but something has made her begun to act oddly besides lack of sex the past 6 months.

Thank you very much for your time and reply. Yes, I have a great deal of love for her. I feel that without romance and sex between two people an emotional bond is desolved. I guess I was hoping for some other answer or enlightment.
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  #4  
Old 07-09-2001, 11:33 AM
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JennyD JennyD is offline
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I'm sorry to hear of the turmoil you have been put through in the name of love. Just remember, your happiness is number one, and finding that person that makes you happy and will love you back is more important than hanging on to something that maybe wasn't meant to be. Don't let this experience jade you. Just wasn't the right person.

Good luck to you in the future,
Jenny
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