Oh Katie hun! You're NOT STUPID!!!!! Oh hell no!! Most people would've done exactly the same in your position!!

LOTS of hugs, hun, for your loss and emotional stress recently.... hope everything brightens up soon!!!

hehe, I know it will actually - we're so glad you've found pixies! I'm sure you'll have heaps of fun here!!

Good luck with the bf!
CasperTG
PS - just remember I got my offer in first, ok!

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

Kitty, I can sort of identify with your b/f. I like to relax by myself once I finish work at midnight but I will spend some time with my b/f (he usually wants to be tucked in so I'll take a break from chat to do so, too). I can't understand how he can spend his days off on the computer all day, too, tho'. He must be addicted and needs help. Good luck and I agree with his sister - you should start going out without him if you want. Why should you stick around the house all day if you don't want to?


And welcome Hobart! I love that name, too!

Of course, you could always just "misplace" the computer for a few days and see what happens. Leave it with a friend or something...


hehehe, I've dreamed about doing that...

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Kitty~
My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel I really do. I know about the "love" thing and how it holds you to stay. If you ever need anyone to talk to my PM box is always open and I have various IM servers that we could talk over. I cant offer much advice as I really dont know what to do myself. But I have a shoulder to cry on and soft bunny hugs for kindred souls. If you lived near by I promise I would most definately take care of you as well..

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Happiness is Bunny Shaped

My Stories:One Hot July Allison's Seduction Olivia's Journey

Your BF, like most of us guys, is just being a guy - dense.

If he were to see through your eyes, he probably would not like what he sees, but to hear it from your mouth will register as nagging or controlling. A start would be to hear your perspective from someone else's mouth - a trusted friend or counselor. You might even hear some things from him that he can't voice, things you didn't expect.

If I ever act this way to a woman I care for, somebody smack me. I want her pussy too much for me to act in a way that doesn't create attraction for me.

I must say, at 25 IMO you are much too young to be so strung out for anyone. Trust me, there is someone else out there for you.

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seriousfun

Another thing I thought about Katie is possibly writing him a letter or - better stil, since he loves his computer so much - an email. Basically, just say what you did in your message to us. Let him know exactly how you're feeling....

And yeah, if you still don't see a reaction from him soon...... dump his arse unfortunately.

Then come down to melbourne and let me make you happy! teehee!

Just a thought!
Best of luck hun,
CasperTG

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

*grrrs at oneself* I replied to all you folks and instead of pressing submit I pressed reset.

steph : I too can understand wanting to unwind etc, I do it myself but for 10 hours? when he has someone here to love him and who wants to love him. *big sighs* I'd be happy if he just spent one of those hours with me and just lay in bed and held me, as for sex well I'd be happy just to be held at the moment. Yes I am going to start going out without him and enjoy it! thanks for your advice

osuche : hehe I too have thought about thing to do with his computer but you see we have 2 of them, his is brand new and in the study and mine in the bedroom (we both had one when we moved in together) I have often thought about accidently shorting his computer out "oops sorry honey but I accidently spilt my drink through the vents in the back of your harddrive, silly me" lol

babybunny : awww thanks hmm you would take care of me? am I think what your thinking? lol

seriousfun : Yes I agree, if he were able to see through my eyes he would be scared of what he see's and he would see how unhappy I am. He knows how it makes me feel and he knows it upsets me and I know he feels guilty for that but obviously his addicted for those things is far more than his addiction for me *sob sob*. I don't think that 25 is that young to be hooked on someone, I do agree though that it's not a age where I would consider settling down forever with him and besides I'd never even get carried away with the thought of marriage etc with him whilst he is so into this, If I ever marry it will be because I know this person cares enough for me to want to spend time with me and show me they love me, it doesn't take much to do that. thanks

Casper : lol thank you and yeah I remember He knows exactly how I feel, I've left him twice before because of it! Done the letters etc, done everything bar get him "electric shocked" lol thanks for the hugs and advice.

Well guys and girls thanks again for all the advice and hugs etc. It is good to get others thoughts although I guess I knew all along this just isn't right and I also know what is going to have to happen. I hate hurting and I hate hurting people but sometimes in life that's the way it is right?. Lets just hope that it doesn't come to that. Thanks again all PS if I didn't reply to anyone in here I am sorry, the brain tends to strain at night.

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"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."(Van Kaam)

Hello Kittylicious ((Big Hug)) I feel for you, I feel your pain.

This is my opinion, and my story.
First of all ,just so you know, I am a guy and I do love women, and it hurts me to see a lady crying over something like this.

I too have a very busy life-style. I work nights until early mornings.
I do love computers and spend 3 to 4 hours on it. But I also shut it down and live-life. I also paint, I am an artist. I also love to read, and write and travel alot. I also love to enjoy the nightlife as much as possible on my days off. I also love to make love, as much as I can make it happen.
So there is NO WAY that your "loved-one" can say he doesn´t feel anything for you, or worse, say he doesn´t have the time. That´s ALOT of bullshit. If you don´t love sex... then I guess your impotent! I sure hope for your sake that he is Not impotent!
But let´s get REALLY serious here... you have mentioned that, I quote you, "I actually think he is a bit confused sexually because alot of his porn is gay porn." Alright then, you have just found out his secret, most wanting, desires. I have read alot of books on the human-mind, psychology mostly. Ilove to see what makes people "tick" inside. One of the things I ave found out is that certain people tend to slowly balance their sexual desires (needs) towards the other way. Have you might consider that your boyfriend is slowly becoming gay? I am NOT kidding!
Í am not saying that you are not a desirable woman, I´m not. I am quite sure I could make you an hungry-wolf in sheeps clothing, that much I can say. You are a very active person, you have this sexual-drive inside of you. BUT your partner does not. He has got his mind on something else... he´s day dreaming.
I work late nights, and sleep in the mornings. Wake up and after lunch, I work again till 3 on the computer, in photoshop, either doing publicity for other companies, or moderating 4 other sites on the internet. I´m a very well known faker world-wide on the web sao it´s my little hobby apart from painting on canvas in real life also... but I always find the time to enjoy life and be with the person I love. I worship any woman that is with me, and will do anything to please her. Because I love to please. You have tried it with him too... but didn´t get a reaction from him. Over the years you have fought hard to make the relationship work, but it always comes to a stand still.
That is very bad, in my book (my opinion).
You must find someone who cares. Who cares about YOU. Someone who is willing to "listen" to you. Admire you, just for being YOU. Care about you and say to your eyes constantly "I need YOU". Someone to look at you and say this... here´s a movie monologue I dug up for you to read what I am trying to say...
As Good As It Gets (movie)
Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson)I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence", and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.

I tell you that if a guy does not get turned on by a woman undressing in front of him... then there is a serious problem.
One trick you could always try (and it has been said here already) is try to seduce him. Slowly and carefully choosing the right seduction act, can turn things around. Send Him flowers at work. Buy him a cool-looking underwear and tell him to wear it for you. Seduce him with food. Go out to dinner more often. Go to the movies. Go to the beach more often. Find out by talking to him, what makes him "tick" sexually. What he loves, and what makes him turn on. Tell him what YOU want..what YOU need from him.
Remenber ALWAYS that no one is born with a field manual on how to behave with the opposite sex. No one is really quite sure about anything until you ask. You have to talk, you have to make those fantasies come true. Everyone is ALWAYS looking for somekind of a "fantasy". Either it be sexual or in the mind. make it come true. - Remenber that old movie with Kim Bassinger called "9 1/2 weeks"?? - ...we ALL have fantasies we would love to come true. One way to acomplish them is to "LIVE THEM", and not just be stuck in front of a computer. try to seduce that "lover" of your again. If that really does not work... I am really sorry to say... But it´s time to move on.
It hurts to have to leave. But there are many fish in the sea, remenber that also. Find your happiness and you´ll be happy for the rest of your life, otherwise you will end up an old maid, wondering why, and that life could have been much better.
These are my humble opinions, Iwish not to see you cry again.
Your much prettier when you light up the mornings with your sunshine-smile

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Read my lips
Watch all the words that drips
If you not care
Don’t even dare
To say what I am
Without dismiss the picture of me from the canvas

Kitty, he doesn't realize how lucky he is to have a girl that enjoys being with him and wants to do so many things with him. I wish I had the magic answer, but you sound like a very special lady. Here's hoping everything works out for you. Hugs.

Oh god, I don't know how I missed this one all week.

Kitty, I know exactly what you're going through. I lived almost exactly what you described. If I didn't know better, I'd be asking if it wasn't the same guy. So when I say this, it comes from knowledge. You're not stupid. Just from reading your posts, I can hazzard that you're articulate, insiteful, and honest...three things that rarely can be found in stupid people. You are having a hard enough time right now, please don't beat yourself up on top of it. You don't need it and you certainly don't deserve it.

As for the rest of it, well...my heart goes out to you. You've gotten great advice here, and it sounds like you're taking it at youor own pace. There's nothting else you can do.

I hope for a happy ending to the story, whichever way it goes. Still, in the meantime, do PM me if you want to chat.

I'd shag you stupid and love you, and honour you and hug you and write you poems and buy you sexy panties and draw pictures of you and make you a great meal and laugh with you and never get stressed when you shout and listen and listen and listen and hold you.

yup you sound gorgeous good luck

wildeye feeling kinda romantic, but hey i can be horny...

Well katie I read this thread and had a tear or two for you.

Its so sad. I took to the computer because I was being ignored but if I had someone to come home to who wanted to make love and talk about the day, I would be sooo happy to do it.

Porn is no substitute for the real thing.

I would weigh my options very carefully because I can see heartache if you dont bring him around pretty quickly. I was soft soaped several times and in a month or two it was back to being as bad as before.

You wont change him, he has to want to change and he is in a comfort zone.

I dont like your chances very much but i wish you luck and you can chat on line or we could talk by phone if you would like to have a friendly ear.

Hugs
Grumble

I can only agree with what everyone else has been saying here, the guy needs the mental equivelent of a big bucket of ice water tipped over him.

I truly hope you can work things out, but don't try and hang on to a useless situation, i did once much to my regret.

Having said that, you may still be able to get things back on track.

As with the others, if you need to talk PM me and remember you have the support of the Pixies

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Life? O that thing again!

"I now leave you to your moosey fate"

Are we there yet?