Okay I know this topic comes up a bit, and I seemed to think I understood all about it, but here it goes....
My boyfriend and I have tried a bit of anal play, just fingers and the feeling are really intense so we thought after a while of that we would advance up to actual anal sex, well we used lots of lube and I mean lots we took it slow really slow, I was turned on and felt like I was relaxing, I didnt feel like I was tense or worried about it at all, but when he tried to enter me he could only go a little bit in, I don't even think the head was in, its like he can't get past the sphincter, at which point the pain was so intense it no longer was fun. I know he does not have a small penis, maybe this is just not an activity that I will be able to enjoy, I hope you guys have some suggestions for us, because this is something I would like to do.

My ex-girlfriend and I both tried to do anal stuff upon each other so I have some experience with this,

Make sure you have lots of lubrication, first off.

Take it slowly... Lots of foreplay beforehand might help your body relax.

Have you and your partner agree on a "safe word" at which point he will stop if the pain becomes too much to bear. There will more than likely be some pain the first few times, especially getting past that barrier of him actually getting in. It will hurt but in my experience it subsides once that is gone past.

If you can't get him in, don't feel bad. Take your time.. Let him use fingers and toys on you for a while to help loosen you up. Perhaps even invest in a butt plug to help stretch you a little bit it might help..

Most importantly, dont rush it. If you fail the first few times b/c of pain... Don't get too upset.. it takes a little time to make it be comfortable enough to fully take anything back there and truly enjoy it.

I'm not sure if that helps you any. Just what I know about the problem.

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Be patient. Especially before you're accustomed to such back door entries, it can take a while for that inner sphincter to relax enough that trying to put anything further into you doesn't hurt. GENTLY and SLOWLY have him attempt to enter you or you attempt to push yourself back onto him. Most likely you will feel some pain as you attempt it. DON'T continue at that point but just stay still or back off a hair (no pun intended), then try again.

I'm a big one for reading as much as I can about something I want to attempt, such as this. Here are some good sites to check out. Clitical.com has 2 good articles on anal sex; if what I list for them here doesn't get you directly to those articles, just click on their "how to" in the left-hand column, and that will direct you to those articles. Libida's article is really good, too.

http://www.clitical.com/anal.php

http://www.libida.com/content/howto...=2&id=113457131 6

http://www.clitical.com/showhowto.php?id=3

http://www.puckerup.com/anal_advisor/anal.htm

You may find that you are more relaxed in one position than another. I still run into the same thing you did, but I find it much easier to finally relax enough when we start off in the spoon position (on our sides); then we switch to me on all fours or me on my stomach, etc. Don't give up yet!

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Communication is the key.

I like to start on all fours . . . and sometimes it's just not going to work - sometimes I'm too tense for whatever reason. Keep on trying.

If you let his penis rest there for a while and remain calm, guide him in a bit further . . . when it comes to anal, he just waits for me to push back slowly.

I would suggest more anal foreplay. More than one finger, or even a small thin vibe well lubricated may be a great way to loosen things up a bit before you attempt his penis. Also a couple drinks could not hurt. Being nervous and tense will cause you to subconsciously clench the exact muscle you are needing to relax.

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I've also found that pushing out, like you're having a bowel movement, can also help relax and open the sphincter a bit.

Other than that, just what everyone has said: relaxation, lube, and desire are crucial, as is going slow and taking your time. Definitely an idea to work up to it - eg a small butt plug, then a small vibe, then a regular vibe then his cock. Depends on how much money you're prepared to spend of course.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes

CasperTG

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A couple of drinks..... a small vibrating butt plug (my preference) to start off the evening usually works for me if I want anal. The butt plug will stretch me out a little and get that "no, I only allow things out, not in" muscle to relax. I have also used a small vibe on my clit while he is entering will turn the twinge of pain into pleasure/pain.... much better.................

I have also used one of those vibes with a clitoral tickler in my pussy while he is entering my ass......... talk about a triple treat.... hmmmmmmmmmmm

That is probably as close to a DP as I am gonna get...........

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Thank you guys for your advice, I think we will try some of the suggestions.
And thank you for the web sites they were interesting reads.