Just turned on my tv, lo and behold, it was on the Discovery Health channel. The program takes a deep look at Sexual Addiction.

As with other "addictions" (Drugs, Alcohol, Food, etc), they are considered self distructive and reflects low self esteem, self-loathing, depression, etc. This program claims that there are 22 million people in the U.S. who suffer from this addiction.

I wonder what my fellow Pixies think about this. Do you consider yourself a sexual addict? Where is the line that seperates someone who suffers with this addiction from those who aren't?

Kisses

Do I consider myself a sexual addict? I suppose that depends on your definition. I recently looked this up on the SAA site and according to them, I probably have an issue because I can answer yes to one of these self assessment questions.

Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.

How did you fair? I can answer yes to #3. So I be damned as a sex addict. Bar your doors and windows and lock away your spouses... don't think your safe either.

It's a tough one to be sure. I was recently having a conversation about this with some friends. I think one mentioned that perhaps a better term would be sexual compulsive. I liked that much better than addict. In my view sex releases natural endorphins and isn't at all like a usual addiction, such as alcohol, drugs, food... where the source of addiction is readily identifiable. Sex seems in some ways far less tangible.

For instance, suppose your addiction is voyeurism or watching? You would receive sexual gratification from it, yet it's not something you can easily remove, like say you could a pack of cigarettes.

Also they don't have sexual sobriety... it call it abstinence. Which they don't wish to have confused with celibacy. You can have sex, however, it needs to be with the right person... i.e. spouse, S/O.

The line? Is self control.

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hell yes, i'm addicted. and to a few other drugs, too. if i don't get it, but i want it, i am edgy and irritable and liable to find a way to sneak me some O. it's effects can be even better than E and THC put together.

i'm also addicted to caffeine, nicotine, glucose, starch, cacao, and sunlight.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I'm not addicted but i sure like it a lot.

I did have to answer yes to question two though.

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"Old age and Treachery will overcome Youth and Enthusiasm...Everytime!"

I dunno, sounds like saying I'm addicted to food. I like eating food, I love how it makes me feel afterwards, when I'm not eating food I think about it, & every few hours I want to do it again.

Addiction happens when you need to have something you should be able to live without, & that need conflicts with living a normal life (what's that like?)...having a need for something that guarantees survival of the species doesn't seem so bad.

That said, maybe we all need to shuffle back over to the Pixies Anonymous thread...sounds like we all need a refresher course in rehab.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I think I need exposure enough to develop addiction and then I'll get back to ya... *shrugs*

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

I'm going to say that from my experience with addictive behavior, it has more to do with the level a person is at with their yes answers. How serious are the secrets you keep, is it getting seriously in the way of you being able to have relationship or being able to function normally in a job, etc.

Having grown up in an alcoholic situation, addiction is a problem I don't tend to feel jokey about, though I can appreciate those who do.

I think if you are over a certain age and you have been arrested for some sex related offense, then you should at least consider looking for outside help, but that's just my opinion.

I am addicted to sex, food, sleep, and bowel movements..... just to name a few.
I believe they are all compelling physical needs of the human animal.
Joe

No.

Addictions are about gratification at all costs.

A healthy appreciation is not.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Maaaa-aaaa...he's doing it again...

Took what I said (or wanted to say), & trimmed it down to 10% of the words I used.









Actually, I'm always quite impressed...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Scotz, that's because you have an addiction to the English language. You are compelled to use as many words of it as possible to convey the simplest of statements. LOL. Either that, or you just can never seem to find the right words and end up overstating the matter. No matter what it is though, you get your point across.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf

Yeah, I am addicted to sex. Much of the population is. If we weren't, we wouldn't procreate. Darwin would be screwed (metaphorically, NOT literally).

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

In my therapist mode, I would be only too pleased to assist you dealing with this addiction. Or did you say addicktion?

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I had a wonderful Professor during my quest for my MSN who maintained that that a diagnosis of sexual addiction was in the same class as "co-dependancy", i.e., faddish, and unable to withstand the tests of time. She maintained that the behaviors were really symptoms of other more realistic mental illness, such as depression, borderline personality disorders and so on.
She and I discussed it at length, and she convinced me.
My own therapists have agreed.


Look;
I love sex, and pursue it with total, unrestrained joy. (i.e. I am a slut)

1. I keep some things secret from the general public. (my fondness for group sex and bukkake, for example)
2. I take risks, semi public sex is a huge turn on.
3. Erotica is a turn on.
4. Fantasies are a daily part of my sex life, especially fulfilling them.
5. I have one night stands. So? The point was to have friendly sex, not start a new romantic relationship.
6. NO. I like to touch myself.
7. Not every relationship is destructive, even if it doesn't last forever.
8. Yes, I have a passion for intensity and variation in sex. I know and understand why, and it is not "sexual addiction"
9. Of course. So. I like sneaking into hotel pools and spas and skinny dipping or even having sex. It's fun. Chased by security a few times, that's also fun.
10. I seldom go to the Confessional anymore. Relating the events of the weekend is sometimes stressful to the person hearing my confession.
11. Yes. Every time I have intercourse with a man there is ALWAYS the chance of catching something or getting pregnant. I take adequate multiple precautions, so the chance is virtually zero. I have had several several encounters that became violent to some degree, and have avoided making the same mistake twice.
12. Going to a Women's Business Club luncheon and not discussing the joys of a gang bang, bukkake or a 3sum tends to make me feel a tad alienated from the other Women. So?

Simply, I have issues, problems, that affect my sex life. I am NOT addicted to sex.
There is a difference.


WW

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"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho

I tend to agree with the "if it interferes with you doing what's needed to meet your obligations then it's an addiction and you need help" definition. I have yet to here of the "sex after work becomes the sex before work becomes the sex instead of work". Now I'm not saying you can't play hooky from work once in a while to have a romantic day with your spouse/s.o. just so long as it doesn't get you fired.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf