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  #1  
Old 02-06-2002, 02:56 PM
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andyhart andyhart is offline
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Lightbulb Clichés and Famous Lines (innuendos)

I was looking through the threads and clichés kept poping up in my head. So I thought why not get everyone in on it! How many clichés or famous lines can be misconstrued? Now there are obvious ones that are suppose to be innuendos. But with a little creativity and sexual interest, some ordinary clichés and phrases could become very funny and/or erotic.

For example:
When I saw the picture by jbnbj69n of all her toys, this phrase popped in my mind.
- "The one with the most toys in the end wins!"
or
- "Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been!" But, what if you know where it's been?
or
- "It just keeps getting harder and harder."


Are you game? Who's up for the challenge?
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  #2  
Old 02-06-2002, 03:30 PM
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They'll get what's coming to them in the end!

Well, if that don't beat all... (Multi-Masturbation Machine??)

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle...
(sorry, inside joke, but there are a couple people here that will get it!... I hope!)

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush... (I think I'd rather have my bird in the bush... two in the bush is a pretty tight fit though!)
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Go then, there are other worlds than these
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  #3  
Old 02-06-2002, 05:54 PM
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What goes around, comes around. (Snowballing anyone?)
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  #4  
Old 02-06-2002, 07:50 PM
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Lilith Lilith is offline
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Here's one but it's ancient

You get used to hanging if you hang long enough.
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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§

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  #5  
Old 02-07-2002, 01:25 AM
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How about these few....


There is no place like home.....(hehe)

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

and

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
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nurses know what hurts and how to make it feel better...
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  #6  
Old 02-07-2002, 09:18 AM
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"You're so sweet!"

Aquaman43's reminded me of this one!
"If you can't beat em, join em"

How about an old commercial
"How many lick does it take to get to the center?"

Exploration?
"Boldly go where no man has gone before!"

...
"It comes with time!"
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  #7  
Old 02-07-2002, 09:52 AM
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Lilith Lilith is offline
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here's one

It takes a lickin' and keeps right on tickin'!~~~~~~~>Lilith
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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§

~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas
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  #8  
Old 02-07-2002, 07:57 PM
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My favorites are when someone puts a new twist on an old cliche, e.g.;

"A fool & his money were lucky to get together in the first place"
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  #9  
Old 02-08-2002, 08:51 AM
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Truncated

Blondes have more.......

Money is the root of all.......
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  #10  
Old 02-08-2002, 01:00 PM
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Ophelia Ophelia is offline
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Uh...

truncated too...

A good man is hard



Ophelia
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  #11  
Old 02-08-2002, 01:16 PM
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Another take on "good man"

I can't remember where I first heard it, but I know it was a woman who said it, "A hard man is good to find."

One of my favorties is transposing the old "If they can't take a joke, fuck 'em."

"If they can't take a fuck, joke 'em."
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  #12  
Old 02-08-2002, 01:19 PM
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One more

I just remembered the punchline to an old joke.

"Why is your organ so small?"
"I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

or the variation of a man comparing the size of his wife's ass to a gas gril:

"You think I'm gonna fire this up for that little weiner?"
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"Even a man who is pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is full and bright."
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  #13  
Old 02-08-2002, 01:20 PM
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Ophelia Ophelia is offline
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Well...

I bartend part time, and am notorious for turning EVERYTHING into an innuendo...it's one of my favorite games...

"I'll give you a shot"

"Did you just ask for my cream?"

"3 slippery nipples? Well, I only have 2, and their not slippery yet, but I can work on that and get back to you"

Yeah, so I'm cheezy! The customers love it, and it helps pass the time!

Ophelia
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  #14  
Old 02-09-2002, 07:49 AM
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Lilith Lilith is offline
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thought of these this morning

Tis better to give than to receive.........(yah right! )


As for the switched around kind-
Why aren't you, smuckin' fart?

~~~~~~~~~>Lilith
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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§

~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas
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  #15  
Old 02-09-2002, 08:04 AM
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Nubian Nubian is offline
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An old saw goes, "The meek shall inherit the earth." Nowadays it's more "the GEEKS shall inherit the earth."
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