Hi all,

I'm so out of thoughts. Please give me your ideas so i can think properly.

My uncle died 3 months ago. We were very close, not like uncle-neph but more like friends. He was a lawyer - must state this as he knew all to become when he died and he had some serious operations before he died. Knowing this, he did not leave a will.

Since he did not leave a will and they have no children, the heritage is divided as 4/8 to wife, rest to his brothers/sisters. He had 2 sisters, one alive, my mom dead. So my aunt gets 2/8 and mom gets 2/8 but as she is dead, my sister and I get 1/8 each. This is the legal thing.

At first, I had told his wife that we would have no demands of the heritage, but then I had to act in line with the others, and his wife's talkings. We found out that the cash in banks is real high..that is to say about 100,000 USD for my share (double it for my aunt and 4x for his wife) plus 2 very expensive houses, plus a Honda CVR.

We left 1 (most expensive) house and the Honda to his wife.i His wife still says that these were their mutual savings. I think she wants it all. My aunt, being like a sister when he was alive has decided not to talk to her. My sister told me that she could just "erase" me if I ever talked with them.

I really don't know what to to. I am thinking of giving it all up to his wife. I am really feeling bad.

Just wanted to share..

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I always wanted to fuck reality but reality always fucked me before.
Angels in America

That's an interesting way of handing the "heritage". I'm not sure where you are from... but that's different than what I'm accustomed to. I don't have any advice to offer, other than best of luck and I'm sorry for your loss.

these things have such a nasty way of tearing families apart. (((joys))) i'm terribly sorry for the loss of your friend and uncle.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, joys. It never seems fair to have to deal with all this mess in the wake of such a tragedy. I think the trauma surrounding the event must be part of what brings out the worst in everyone. My great aunts didn't speak to each other for 10 years over their mother's collection of novelty milk jugs. Folks claim there's a principle to defend, but mostly...I think it's grief first, and then too much pride to admit they made a fuss about something small.

There are no answers, this sort of problem goes back as far as the species has been telling stories to each other. All you can do is what you feel is right, do it quietly, and step away from the arguments. Things will hopefully smooth over in time.

Joys ... sorry about your loss ... whatever your decision, remember the greated thing he gave you was in the moments you were able to spend together!

Now, the technical term is that he died "in testate" (without a will to direct the flow of his assets). I don't know if he lived in the US and if so if the state he lived in is a Community property state or a separate property state ... either way, the division of the property is all about what your "state" law has in it's probate code (if you are in the US).

Whether a person dies with a will or not, it often gets messy ... In my experience, it has more to do with unresolved emotions, someone's feelings have been hurting for a long time over something and all of a sudden the only way to deal with those feelings is about who get's what or doesn't get what. It's hard to watch, it's especially hard to watch if you are in the middle of it!

No matter what profession a person practices, most of us don't really like to think about our death and what might happen afterwards, so allow him the human factor in that.

You might be best served by contacting an Estate Planning attorney in your area - find one that will do the initial consultation for free and then get all your questions together for what you want to know about and ask him to explain what you will need to know about as well. At that point you can talk with other family members and let them know what possible alternatives are there for them. It may be that other members of your family have some financial needs, or future needs ... your sister and you could undoubtedly use the funds for such things as purchasing a home or schooling, or schooling for children (don't know your circumstances). But before you make any decisions, get informed. If you are in the US, they won't be able to close the estate for at least 9 months (and that would be a VERY quick closing).... usually the size of an estate that you are talking about will take 2-3 years or so and only after all the formalities have been met can anyone receive any real amount of money.

If your aunt and uncle were married a fairly long time it is likely that the court will consider all assets as jointly owned - there are a number of specific reasons why they might NOT do so - but in most situations these specifics won't come into play ... if that is the case, that all jointly owned assets will have to be reviewed as to how title was held at the time of his death ... it all gets a bit complicated ... and that's why you really should consult with an attorney about this for those types of legalities ... it may end up costing you a couple of hundred - to a couple of thousand dollars (depending where you are) for him to research all of the details, but it will be money well spent in understanding exactly the nature of the situation.

So, what I'm saying, you have time to look at your options, explore them a bit and then (hopefully) when everyone is in a clearer frame of mind, make your decision. Hope you find this helpful.

P.S. Feel free to PM me if I can answer any specific questions you may have (I'm NOT an attorney, but have worked as an Estate Planning Legal Assistant for many years - though I've been away from it for the last 18 months or so).

Your uncle must have been a man with a great sense of humor to not leave a will with his insight.:grin: Those ARE the times I like to believe somebody IS watching what we do.

I have made reference to an old movie that parabolizes your situation, a number of times, on this board. There is a scene, about 11 minutes into it, that you will want to take thru the rest as you watch how humans play out. I highly recommend you take some of the time you will have before the matter is settled, to rent Treasure Of Sierra Madre.

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Just to add to fzzy's comments. Is your aunt claiming these are joint? Or does the bank show those accounts as joint? If the bank shows your uncle as sole owner, depending on the probate laws where you live, most of the time it is part of the general estate corpus and divided accordingly. Talking to an attorney who handles estate work would be a good idea.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

If it were you to die instead of your uncle, Wouldn't you want your wife to have it? She helped you make the money not your family. She is still alive and has to provide for herself for the rest of her life.
I've been through what you're going thru and it will tear families apart.
Which do you want? your family or the money?

My grandfather just passed away and my step grandmother is in a nursing home. I gave my share up to her. She needs it worse than I do.

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

This situation is never easy. Weigh the pros and cons, and make a decision that oyu will not regret. In the interim, might make sense to talk to some of the family members (especially his wife) and see how they feel.....

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