We have recently been married, and pretty much waited to have sex until we did so. Since we have gotten married it has been a little frustrating for the both of us because neither of us have had much experience with sex. So I guess what we need is some advice on staying in the mood, lasting longer, and having mutual orgasms. Any responses would be great.

Thanks

Read. This forum is a good place, but quite a few of the posters here are in the "experienced+" expertise category. Check out amazon.com and look for books on sex, relationships and intimacy. Laura Corn is a great author. She has several books out with tips, tricks, techniques and whatnot. She has some workbook type texts with pages you can tear out filled with scenarios and instructions on how to please your lover and yourself.

The other advice I can give you is to be free with your passions. Encourage your husband to explore his desires and yours. You do the same. Have sex in different ways. Do it at different times of day. Try new positions. Explore!

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"Even a man who is pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is full and bright."

As Usual Fang two cents have been worth more like a million, but as an added note....DON'T worry about mutual orgasms. If U both get off it doesn't matter who gets off first or who gets off most. Girls probably will get off more and from my experiance they usually get off first. It doesn't matter so long as u r both happy. Chances r u won't both cum at the same time. Just enjoy the ride.

ClassyDJ

DJ's right. As long as everybody cums, who can complain?

One other tidbit, you should learn to suck cock and your hubby should learn to eat your pussy, both to orgasm. That way you'll both always be happy.

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"Even a man who is pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is full and bright."

"Just do it!" A couple of ideas:

Schedule a sex nite once a week (or more). It doesn't have to be highly structured - it's just a commitment to spend time enjoying and exploring each other. (You can take turns planning the evening.)

Try a couple of video's... watch together, pay attention to and discuss what "gets you going."

I agree that you shouldn't worry about mutual orgasms. Just indulge yourselves. They'll cum. (Pun intended.)

One caveat: don't lose spontaniety. Planning and "working" at good sex can be fun, but sometimes you just do it.

Wally

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Enjoy the journey, not just the destination!

Don't ever use withholding sex as a punishment. In other words don't cut him/her off. Sex should be a way to bond together not push yourselves apart.

Something VERY IMPORTANT. Don't worry if he/she doesn't cum every time. How tired you are, how stressed your are, how you feel, and what mood you are in play a big part. If you are not in the mood you won't cum or you won't cum as much.

Make sure you are both understanding when the other doesn't get a "Bang" out of it. Once you remove this pressure from yourselves you will find sex much more enjoyable.

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The world is a wonderful book, one we should all learn from

A marriage is a place of loving intimacy.

Learn each other's bodies and what they like touched,licked
nibbled and poked. Showers are really good for this.

Sex is the extension of this and just finding out what you like
and don't like has months of fun in it.

Don't settle for "He/She liked that so we'll do it all the time".

It's an "us" thing and take it all at your own pace.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Hold hands in public, sit next to him if you sit in a booth in a
restaurant, snuggle, hug and kiss each other often, just enjoy being together.

If you try to build intimacy in your daily life, sex will be a natural
expression of that intimacy.

Sex is the result of love and intimacy,
not the cause of it.

I guess what trying to say here is enjoy each other, enjoy being
in love and the rest will follow.

Oh, one more very important thing:
Say "I love you often" AND DO LITTLE THINGS TO SHOW IT.

I used to leave little love notes on his pillow..........
hmmmmmmmm , It's been a while since I did that, time to
start it up again.

When I went away for the summer 5-6 weeks, I 'd find a little
gift on my pillow when I returned. His way of letting me know
he missed me.............

You can tell me to shup up any time now..............

Anyway, hope this helps !!!!!!!! New love is such a rush, so
enjoy it and each other

If I am guilty of anything it's the "DO LITTLE THINGS TO SHOW IT" part. The things I do that I think matter aren't meaningful to her. That's where I screw up most often.

rabbit

P.S.: Don't shut up. You always speak honestly...I like that!

intimace is important - as is spontineity (sp). touch kiss and feel. pay attention to your loves body and discover what makes it respond. watch for the involuntary twitches, chivers and spasms .

Soon, the rewards will be visable and both you and yours will be blissfully happy and anticipate the time making love.

Enjoy being with one another and never take fights into the bedroom. Like all things if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Practice makes perfect - keep practicing and trying new things. surprise each other with something new.

Try making slips of paper and drawing them from a box - oral for him, oral for her, vaginal, misionary, , doggy style, anal - keep each other guessing and have fun!

If you dont have kids yet than dont worry too much about it. You have plenty of time to get used to each other and the spots that make you feel good. Take your time with each other and explore your spouse. Make a game out of it. This is your time so dont spend it worrying about having an orgasim the same time just enjoy it.

Most days that I don’t have a friend with me I come to Pixies. I usually get TOTALLY preoccupied with other parts of the site. By the time I’m FINISHED and could be serious, I leave. That’s why it’s taken so long to contribute my trifling to this thread.

All of the advice on here seems sound. Particularly PussyWillows “….Hold hands in public, sit next to him if you sit in a booth in a restaurant, snuggle, hug and kiss each other often, just enjoy being together……build intimacy in your daily life…”.

Only thoughts I might add, FIRST, there may be people more experienced but there are NO SEX EXPERTS. History tells me our specie has never dealt satisfactorily regarding sex. We fancy ourselves as primates with reason, separating us. Sex is an innate part of all life forms, but not logic. Truth seems to be we are a combination of the most basic life forces and an evolving creature of intellect. I have to say that most of the people here have found a comfort and enjoyment with themselves and their sex. That’s as good as it gets. (I don’t know of anything better) I believe that takes time and a lot (maybe most) people never really get that.

So go with it. Don’t go FOR it. Let it happen. It’s been more like growing a tree than building a house for me.

Something that worked well for me, mainly in the beginning of a good 25 year marriage, was kind of a DEDICATED PARTNERS SESSION. We would start a love session that one was going to just do unto the other. Understanding that one will NOT climax during the session allowed that one to ENJOYABELY learn the type of things talked about in this thread and the other to relax COMPLETELY. No schedules, no balance sheet, just did it. Was ALWAYS wonderful for both.

Every person and every couple is different. Take your time and ENJOY. Truly life’s greatest JOY!!!

Just one prospective.

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i think everyone has covered what i would say, but i just want to mention how sweet it is that you waited til you were married!!

I don't usualy;give;advice because ,I am far from an expert!One
thing that my mother always told me--"Never go to sleep on an
argument."It will be blown out ;of proportion;by morning.I love
her even if she is a pain in the ass.(87yrs.)It must have been right
because we have been married 36yrs. Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)