In reading a thread from FussyPucker I realized life is passing me by. I seem to throw myself into caring for others while a year goes by and I've done nothing to better myself.

I'm putting it out there and hoping for some ideas...

Are there sites to help someone determine what their "calling" is? Are there agencies who can help determine this? I swear...I am 48 and I hate my job and it isn't condusive to my physical well being but I am scared as shit that I'll end up sewing for the rest of my life! I have no idea what to go to school for to move into another line of work. Matter of fact, it's scares me to think of leaving the money I am making to change jobs at this age.

I'd like to say I am a strong, determined type of chick...but in reality I am in a comfort zone that only seems comfortable to everyone around me and I'm terrified of changing it for fear of failure.

THERE! I said it out loud!

Now...what do I do about it? What has all who came before me done about it? Who wants to come over and kick my ass all the way to a psychiatrist? (<---don't answer that...it's rhetorical)

I highly doubt that caring for others is an option for me because I'm really not comfortable around sick strangers (like a roommate in hubby's hospital room for example) but I seem to handle it ok with family. To be honest I have a long list of things I wouldn't want to do but NOTHING I would feel comfortable doing while knowing the money I gave up. It just seems selfish.

OK...one thing I'd love to do is get really good at stained glass works. Nothing like suncatchers...I mean to the point where I am commisioned to do work for the hoity toity. How in the fuck can I achieve that stature at my age and with my lack of education?

Ya see? Life is passing me by and here I sit...typing my heart out...and not really knowing if I'll hit "submit new thread"...cause it all seems so selfish to me!

Any and all suggestions welcome!!!!!!!!!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy

I'm going through the same thing...almost exactly in the way you're feeling...gotta see if maybe we can brainstorm some ideas together...

so, like...ummmm....can I hijack and share your thread?

__________________
If someone offers a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny??

Don’t let the hardship of the past, take away from the joy of the present

Oh Yes MM! Send it up the flag pole! Do you have a secret passion you might love to do if you could just have the security that you have now?

Let's see what developes!

BTW...I don't feel so alone now! TY (((((musicman)))))!!!!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Start here. http://www.43things.com/

It helped me to focus on what I want to accomplish and to remember that my accomplishments are important to me no matter how inconsequential they may seem to someone else.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I have a friend who is commissioned to do large windows of stained glass for new construction. Lixy you could offer a piece to a model home and see what comes of it.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

TY soooooooo much for the effort Lilith! When I opened the link I cried...Look at all the things people wonder about and aspire to!?!?

I especially loved your second contribution...but get this...(<---meant to call attention...not anger)...With my love for stained glass (and the inert assumption that I KNOW I can do it) I have NEVER made even a minor suncatcher! Do I suck or what? I have books on the subject...I even have a few tools of the trade...but never made a thing!

/drops to my knees in honor of all the professionals

I'm not asking for mercy or pity! My fear isn't unfounded. My money now is pretty good. How do I counter that with a leap like stained glass?

P.S. I carry the health insurance for the family. Mr. Lixy's health insurance sucked! We cancelled it. We had a $1000.00 per year deductible per person. He's doing great now...but I am thinking of the [near] future. I carry no deductible if within the medical group. We just pay a co-pay...and at the most it's $25.00...even for specialists.

Yikes! This sucks...don't it? The insurance companies keep us in their grips!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Can't let the insurance spoil your aspirations Lixy.....you can always start small as Lil said, try new things, see what you like and what you enjoy, explore some new careers without committing to them...and find out details which may or may not be helpful in your future decisions....

Things have a funny way of working themselves out sometimes...and sometimes (look who's talking here, Mr. I hate change and am scared to do it himself), you have to leap before you look rather than the other way around...

I still have to check out that website myself....

__________________
If someone offers a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny??

Don’t let the hardship of the past, take away from the joy of the present

Just a ramble... could you find a rewarding hobby. Let work be work, sometimes doing something to pay the bills and provide a life outside of work can be "enough". I've come to a point in my life where I like my career well enough but it doesn't fulfill me as a person so I'm trying to find a rewarding hobby or community service to add to my life.

__________________
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing.

*hugs and love to you guys*

I can sew anything! I mean ANYTHING...as long as I have a pattern and a little guidance from the designer. I always want to know her/his final idealization behind the finished product. If I have a picture of the product or if I make the proto-type...I can make whatever the designer wants and suggest refining or detail as to it's construction. I work with HEAVY material or leather!

I can work with delicate stuff...but the machinery I work on now is for BULK!

*FADE TO BLACK*

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

There's a book..."What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson that is a collection of stories and advice from people who have made MAJOR career changes in mid-life. It may not tell you what you should do, but it might inspire you.

<--- Girl who is paying $100,000 for an MBA so I can take a paycut and start a socially responsible business.

Also...talk to other people. Many others have similar stories. If nothing else, we can provide one another emotional support.

Just don't forget that life is about risk -- without risk we don't know we're living.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

(((((osuche))))) Taking note!

TY (((Everyone)))...for understanding!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

i just pirated lil post. but that's ^^ what you need to remember.
what you've been doing is important, at least to someone else if not you, but it's ALSO life changing for you 'cause it's life experience. the last year must have even helped to better you in some ways too.

that said.
just do it, i say. you are scared to leave your job, yet have the tools and materials and reference books to test out your skills? who said you have to leave your job? just try it on the side. practice it as a hobby when you can. and make some time for it!

you also said you have no formal education, but last i checked, you don't need one to be an artist. my advice, though, is that when you do finally start getting good enough to sell your stuff to the hoity toity...and i have no doubt you someday will...don't call them that to their faces.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

WOOOoooooooooo Lixy


I have a special interest in YOU, and think I know you better than this. Nothing wrong with taking stock of where we are once in a while, but considering a sudden short cut across the lake with 200 ft. of chain is not the way to do it. lol


FIRST- I think it's fair to say that Fussy had a bit more than his average years activity during the last Sun orbit. Ask him what he did each of the 5 previous cycles. And I think it fair to say you carried out more than your normal load Samaritan duties this year. Life is not linier. It's sinusoidal. That's why they talk about it throwing you a "curve".

Now ……… if any of that has merit, ratchet this "life is passing me by" shit down to what may really be happening for you. Having worked your honest ass off and very consciously ordering of a little security is not letting "life pass you by" and it sure as hell isn't "selfish". Being a responsible person is something most people strive our whole life to become.

So now we have the facts that you have worked hard to acquire some of the security and comfort that is the basic goal of all people. We know that you can't help but to give your support and of yourself for the important people in your life. Sounds like the kind of person we all wish we had in our lives. You've worked hard enough and been on the block long enough to know that "the world is your apple" is a good battle cry for the young to get off their ass and see what they can make out of life (which you've ALREADY done a good job of), but is not the way the world works with all the conventions of reality. Something about "black and white reality being different than techno colored dreams".

Aren't you really asking "what's my next goal"? You have this "security" because you've developed some valuable skills and experience that has a lot of value to somebody. Would being able transfer some of these skills to others make you even more valuable to these people and perhaps at the same time start you into a training position with your current organization? Something like that could well lead to a whole new career without having to endanger your present status. You can become an "instructor/trainer" without having to become a "certified teacher" and these people are valuable to not only manufactures, but material and equipment suppliers as well as trade associations who pay good buck$ for these skills. A few course on developing training programs can take you a long way into a specialty field like I know you have.

I can talk to you about details in these particular areas, but you have a lot of options, are a long way from a dead end and SURE as heck haven't let anything pass you by. I don't see the crisis at the moment. Only opportunities to continue with the proven abilities that you are about, no matter in what direction.

Now I need you to talk to me about 'fitting' some silky material to your high end, instead of sewing high end executive furniture.

__________________

One of my best pals is a stained-glass dude (PF met him briefly when he dropped me off at PAGAN). He worked on the restoration of the library on Parliament Hill last year & is doing some work for Ryerson University right now. Alas, he's not a netizen so I'll have to talk to him about how he got started.

A friend suggested reading "What Colour is your Parachute?" but it didn't do much for me (but I know it's helped tons o' people).

(((((((((Lixy)))))) Have fun!

Jeez, where do I start? I've been coming back to this thread, & reading it over & over, just trying frame my thoughts...& once again, I'm not sure I can improve on anything that's already been said...but I can feel the fear in your post, Lixy, so...here goes nothin'...

Your situation sounds so much like my own a few years back...except that any security I felt was just from drawing a steady paycheck, since I knew I had mastered a dying craft, & I too felt like there was no way to start over again at my age...& when the axe finally fell, I found all my fears of an uncertain future made real, & as if that wasn't enough, when the locusts came, they devoured EVERYTHING...so I can empathize with you completely how it feels to stare into the abyss, & wonder how I could possibly make it to the other side...

But this isn't about me, is it...especially since I don't recommend my experience to anyone...but it does have some relation to the fact that when I found myself in that rut, I did take stock in myself, & figured I did have some value other than my work, & while my other lifeskills didn't look real promising financially, I did start trying to rebuild myself around the edges, figuring I should at least find some way to soften that hard landing a little...

It seems to me that this could be the start of good things for you, just because you've dared to stop & question the hamster wheel you're on...you've built this life one brick at a time, & that's how you'll have to go about building some different life...I can certainly understand your reluctance to tear down the one you have, & you shouldn't have to...

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.