S&M....humiliating...

[dnr21]

Hi all again,

I had came across a certain post in another sex discussion forum, where a guy revealed he knew a gal who enjoyed humilitaing sex, ...something like the gal wants guys to tell her she is ugly, worthless, no one will ever love her, she is dirty and they do not want to put their cocks in her, etc.

Does anyone gets turns on by that too?

And I do think that SM to a certain extent can be quite enjoyable, as it is part of a role playing kind of sex, but only to be done by couple of long trusting relationships(no gals might be turn on by a guy who brings out a whip on the first date).. and i am curious :confused: abt whether what kind of scenarios of SM do u pixies like to role play in?


And how abt some suggestions that is softer for a start in my sex life...

:bfly:

[BlueSwede]

Are you referring to the post over at electriclover.com? I thought the problem there was that that woman was asking guys she preferred picking up at bars to treat her that way/talk to her that way. She was not interacting with people who "played by the rules"--the sane, safe, and consentual idea. I recall I was concerned the woman was going to end up badly beaten or dead.

We have plenty of experts on the subject of BDSM here, whom I'm sure will give you plenty of suggestions.

[Lilith]

*enter Lilith*~ not an expert but can sure think of 49835789235723 ways to play out BDSM! When I think of humiliation in the context of BDSM I think more along the lines of name calling, (My slut, My whore, sissyboy:p), expecting said persons to do tasks which are demeaning or uncomfortable,(toilet duty, wear panties, do chores while wearing a plug or even pony tail) or the sort. Those are just some very typical ones.

If a man came to me whip in hand I would stiffle a squeal of delight and hold out my hand for him to give it to me ;)

Best way to start off is lightly, begin by telling her exactly what you want her to do and precisely how you expect it done. BDSM is probably one of the most verbal/ communicative types of sexual experiences. Begin with diologue.

[rabbit]

Mrs R and I engage in BDSM more often than anything else. A role play is a good way to start. One of our favs is where I am an influential model talent scout and she is an aspiring model who is willing to do "almost" anything to get the job. From there she is willingly down to some sexy lingerie before the tables turn against her; she is tied up and a camera is set up to take some very nasty pictures of her (which I of course promise to sell..."bastard" that I am... :D ) unless she does what I command.

rabbit

[skipthisone]

The only good type of S&M to me must always maintain a level of respect. If the dominate one has any hatred or insulting natures towards the sub, to me it is just ruined and at that point a demeaning venture.

[Lilith]

I agree with STO... for me BDSM is not about humiliation but rather about respect. I want someone to submit because it is what they wish to do and I honor the gift of submission by being respectful and considerate. Of course I still expect to be worshipped and obeyed;)

[Cheyanne]

Done correctly it is all about trust, respect and love.... what some don't quite understand is that the Submissive accepts and allows the Domme/Dom to have a command over a situation. The Submissive gives of themselves through trust and love.. and the Domme/Dom gives of themselves as well.

Some are so worried about the "punishment" or "humiliation" aspect of that type of relationship that they don't see the beauty of it, nor do they understand that the Sub doesn't look at it that way.....

[BlueSwede]

Cheyanne, I agree with you to an extent, but I definitely agree with skipthisone. I am extremely turned on by the notion of belonging to my lover. However, I have to have a loving dom in the sense that I can't bear for my interaction with that person to involve any hint of humiliation or anger or disrespect. It IS a big concern for me, even in role play, because of experiences I've been through in the past (rape, which I know I've mentioned elsewhere). I want to please; I want to meet my lover's every desire to the best of my ability, whether it is to pleasure my lover's body or allow my lover to use mine to satisfy his desires. Meeting his sexual needs will always come before mine or in lieu of mine. I'll turn myself inside out for him, but if he calls me what I consider derogatory names or acts hateful or angry, I'll be ready to knee him or worse and run the hell in the opposite direction. My reaction will be to want to rebel with every ounce of strength in me. Not to mention that any desire on my part will have completely evaporated.

[vampeyes]

I think (IMHO) that s&m or bdsm means something different to everyone. As Lilith pointed out it's all about communication. Talk to your partner about what excites you and what excites them. A nice start may be some light bondage silk scarves, pantyhose or some soft rope ( I have always had a fondness for silky drape cord type or material that can be found at a fabric store or a home renovations store) or some light spankings with your hand. But above all communication is the key.

[Teddy Bear]

I know this is an old thread but I just came across it.

Two good sites to check out:

www.castlerealm.com

www.novicium.com

I'm pretty sure they've been posted before. Research/read and then communicate with your SO. Talking , honesty, trust and love are probably the most important things in any type of relationship but even more so in a D/s relationship. (just my opinion)

Good luck!
Teddy :D :D