"Please, gather around Rolf, everybody, as I cannot contain the Christmas mirth crawling up my backhair." -Rolf

"I am Poop Dog, the Gangsta Spectre of Defeat!" -Poop Dog

"Well done, children. Your parents will receive phonecalls instructing them to love you less." -Ms. Bitters

Video Store guy: "Return that movie!"

Gir: "You got any o' them taquitoes?"

Computer: "I do not know what the FBI is."

Zim: "Well, guess!"

Computer: "Okay... The FBI was founded in 1492, uh... by demons."

"Once, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everybody died. The End." -Patrick

"Hey, that thing you were right about... it's gonna eat us!" -Dib

Mad Scientist: "Gentlemen, meet my beautiful girlfriend."

Associate: "I think that's a giant spider."

Scientist: "I think you're right. It's a trick! Run!!"

"Look, I need candy. Are you gonna gimme some or are you gonna lose some teeth?" -Meatwad

Zorak: "How'd it go?"

Space Ghost: "Smooth as ice. I had to punch Pat in the jaw a couple of times, but other than that, I think we built a solid wall of groove."

Space Ghost: "Are you okay, granddad?"

Granddad: "That monkey hit me with a folding chair."

"...And I contend that those tourists were decapitated before they entered Krustyland's House Of Knives." -Krusty

"Strange, squirrely behavior... secret handshakes... They must be goin' ta meet Danish chicks!" -Bravo

"Have a good day, rotten-to-the-core cherished one." -Ed

Badminton chick: "Johnny, I have a proposition for you."

Bravo: "How about this one: you, me, a box of noodles, and a Pauly Shore video."