I just do, I am not a big believer in monogomy. Dont get me wrong I want to be honest with whomever I am with, But I am and always have been a complete non-jealous person and personally would love it if my wife was having an affair. The one girlfriend I had who slept around like I did, was one of the best times. Not mainstream in any sense..but my views.

But i know of few people that are completely non-jealous as me.

BigBear..

An incredibly awesome truth..

Nope. Not me.

But, I don't judge either. Everyone has to make their own decisions. By the way, welcome to Pixies eyesopen!

no prob sharn...ask anytime. As sexy as you are you can question me anytime...


Damn i am such a kiss ass...

not me......................was "cheated" against by the guy I loved last year~~~~~~~~~~~~~found out that a broken heart really is a physical pain

now lucky enough to be with a very special man ~~~wouldn't do anything to cause him pain~ever!
love you Dm!

Skip's answer interested me, as I do not feel that cheating is the act of having sex outside of a monogamous relationship, but that it is sex (or any intimate act - even kissing) behind the other's back. I am really not a particularly jealous woman, although of course I do have my insecurities, but I HATE the idea of a partner lying to me. If a partner of mine ever had an indiscretion I would want him to feel that he could tell me so that between us we could decide what to do about the situation, than for him to lie to me about it.

I know I may not be the sexiest woman on the planet and that there WILL be other women who will be tempting to my man, but I also know that I'm not the most stupid one on the planet, and if an SO were to lie to me, then I'd feel that he was undermining my intelligence. Being lied to makes it impossible to maintain one's dignity and THAT can be harder to deal with than the fact that your SO has been in the arms of another.

To answer the question, no I am not having an affair and I never have, although I was in 'the other woman' role for about half an evening once. Hated it. Will never do it again. I have a strong philosophy that if you aren't happy or fulfilled with the one you're with, then it's not compulsory to stay in the relationship. I don't believe in fucking someone else's life up just because I can't make up my mind between two people or because I don't want to risk losing them both.

I realise how naive this all sounds but I have been tempted by others on plenty of occasions and each time have had the good sense to end one relationship before embarking on another. I try to live by these rules as I can't live with my conscience otherwise but if others can, then who am I to judge? Everybody's different.

does cyber and phone sex count as an affair? if it does nt then I have nt.

If it does then I am fucked:o




and will need to edit my original answer:p

well since my experience i dnt do anything like that.
nothing remotely close to cheating, not even flirting.
it was an extremely painful experience and it too two years to trust another woman and get in a relationship.

but i do like adult movies and sites.
but i do browse these sites etc with my last two girlfriends,
we enjoyed it together so i did not feel guilty, and we never made personal contact with anyone so it was ok

my last girlfriend was not much into these things but she was allways with me even if reading a book while i surfed.

i dont think i would do any thing behind my future girlfriends back either

As far as cyber and phone sex goes.....I think that depends on what you decide with your SO. If s/he knows you do it and is cool with it then fine, if not then in my book it counts as cheating.

Flirting is a different matter entirely. Fussy and I are both outrageous flirts (what do you mean, 'you'd noticed'? :p) but we don't do cyber/ phone sex with anyone but each other. Of course in time, we may decide to review this situation, who knows? but at present it suits us both. I think I speak for us both when I say that at the moment we get all the sexual thrills we need from each other. :D

I do agree with you Lou, I am a massive flirt in RL as well as in this imaginary universe. I truly wish I could review my online habits and share them with my SO, but I know that will never be. Do I consider it cheating? Yes I do. Do I consider it to be unfaithful, no. My heart is still in only one place. I am one of those delusional people that think fun and sex have nothing to do with where the soul is contected.

To answer the original question, NO. While my ex was away for six months in the last part of the relationship, there were more than enough opportunities, and even though the relationship was not good, I would not even consider it. I have strong views on commitment, and when I make one, I can't cross that line. I was accused of having an affair. My ex didn't believe that the child we had concieved was his and believe me it is nice to know that there was no way in hell, other than immaculate conception that this was his child. He could accuse all he wanted and there was no guilt or secret questioning. I knew what I knew.

As far as the cybering question I have to agree with loulabelle on this...If it is done secretly than it is an indiscretion and in my book that doesn't sit well or work FOR ME. If it is in the open then I have the right to decide if it is something I can live with or not. I just think that if I found out about a "cyber relationship", or a real life affair, after the fact, I would feel that obviously something was missing from the "real relationship". And all those insecurities we try so hard to get over would come rushing in and ruin all possibility of a healthy relationship. If it was done in the open and it was understood that it was just sexual "fun" I would be okay with it. I have certainly grown a lot in the past few years and have come to realize that just because "we look" or "fantasize" doesn't mean that our partner isn't all we want them to be. The best part is to be able to look and fantasize together or to at least share these experiences on some level with my SO.

This is my opinion on the subject and in no way is meant to reflect my views on what others choose to do in their own lives. We all make our choices and have to be able to at least try to understand what leads others to do what ever it is that they do.

I agree with you entirely Skip. Sex and the 'L' word are totally separate entities but the problem is, that not everyone's SO sees it that way.......

I see fucking/sex (without expressed written consent) as cheating but an affair occurs when your heart is involved. Just how I compartmentalize.