Like Lil, I am a big fan of love, and I fortunately have a very big heart. On the down side, though, there is often a component of pain--whether it's from unrequieted love, love not reciprocated to the same degree, or, even if both parties share mutual feelings for each other, logistics and outside forces that make it difficult to pursue total happiness. The individual person has to make a decision where that balance between happiness and longing lies, and how much pain is worth compared to the pleasure.

yep yep what she ^^^ said

Try dating the women I've dated in the past 2 or 3 years....Then the quote makes perfect sense.

This my sound a little cynical.....

I have been in relationships where I allowed the other person to control my feelings......... example, perhaps my degree of love encompassing my belief in self. Trying to please that other person in the name of expressing my love, but loosing myself in the process.

Each person's definition of love is different from mine... oh, there may be similarities, but each is individual. I may love someone "in my own way", and they in turn "love me in their own way."... I accept that and am grateful. Who am I to try to shape their definition/feelings/attitudes/expressions, to coincide exactly with mine?

Another example.... Husband & Wife ~ the woman is more affectionate, likes to cuddle, says "I love you." to her husband. The husband isn't very affectionate, not into cuddling, and doesn't verbally say "I love you."......

The wife is dissapointed and becomes suspicious because her husband doesn't express love like she does..... The husband gets upset because the wife is maybe holding out on him in the bedroom.... he loves her- he provides a roof over her head, takes care of her, fixes stuff, tells her supper was good.... that is how he expresses/feels his love for her.

A lot of people base their definitions of Love only on themselves.. not others, and sometimes get "hurt" in the process. This isn't to say that I am a machine, or that I don't hurt, but I have learned to not allow/disallow others expressions of Love to alter what I feel......

Hope that I didn't confuse anyone...

Cheyanne, best post here by far, I completely agree with you and all that you said.

Very good points Cheyanne!

I am polyamourous! I love different people in different ways. I believe that my feelings are really my own responsibility but that does not make it any easier sometimes.

My Grandma always used to say people do the best they can with what they have to work with. I find this especially true in the case of love. It means so many different things to each person. No wonder it is so difficult to maintain a relationship that is based on love, when love means something so personal and individual to each person who experiences it.

I believe in love. Unfortunately I've found that love doesn't believe in me.

<------joins Lil in the Pixies Polyamorous club.

And, as the others said, excellent point, Cheyanne. :)

Nuff said....

I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE
Music and Lyrics by Chris DeGarmo & Geoff Tate

I awoke on impact
Under surveillance from the camera eye
Searching high and low
The criminal mind found at the scene of the crime
Handcuffed and blind, I didn't do it
She said she loved me
I guess I never knew
But do we ever, ever really know?
She said she'd meet me on the other side
But I knew right then, I'd never find her

I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel

No more nightmares, I've seen them all
From the day I was born, they've haunted my every move
Every open hand's there to push and shove
No time for love it doesn't matter
She made a difference
I guess she had a way
Of making every night seem bright as day
Now I walk in shadows, never see the light
She must have lied 'cause she never said goodbye

I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
I'll just pretend she never was real
I don't believe in lovev I need to forget her face, I see it still
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel

No chance for contact
There's no raison d'etre
My only hope is one day I'll forget
The pain of knowing what can never be
With or without love it's all the same to me

I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
I'll just pretend she never was real
I don't believe in love
I need to forget her face, I see it still
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel

Eros, that is sad.

I know...but the song kicks ass!

Oh, and other than a few lines...is pretty much right on target.

Don't know what I could say that hasn't already been said!