Frontpage 1/13/04 (Australian time)

New contraceptive massage oil.

A new contraceptive massage oil is being tested. It is called HiPong. Rub it all over your body and no worries. Nobody will want to go near you for days.

Frontpage 1/17/04 (Australian time)

Wacko Jacko to get movie role.
Wacko Jacko to get role in remake of Planet of the apes. He will be playing an ape!

haha ur great, so funny

EXTRA EXTRA

Apes reject Wacko Jacko
After he was caught in the nursery tree

:jedi:

Frontpage 1/20/04 (Australian time)



Pennsylvania rocked by strange cult.
Maids reported rolling naked in the snow at midnight amongst the cow pads!

Frontpage 1/21/04 (Australian time)


Wacko Jacko sneezes
Nose later found in South Dakota!

Frontpage 1/22/04 (Australian time)


Loud thud heard from Canada.
A loud thud was heard coming from Canada this morning. It appears to have been caused by Canadians all freezing their butts off at once!

Churchill's parrot still hates Hitler


AFP - The inner thoughts of Britain's wartime leader Winston Churchill live on, thanks to the foul mouth of his 104-year-old parrot who lives at a garden centre in southeast England.

"F*** Hitler! F*** the Nazis!" says Charlie, a female blue and gold macaw which Churchill bought in 1937, two years before the outbreak of World War II in Europe.

"Parrots are remarkably adept at mimicking sounds and voices," says an article about Charlie in the February issue of Jack, a British men's magazine, which hits the newsstands on Thursday.

"So when Charlie gives her opinion of the National Socialist German Workers' Party, it is rendered with a Churchillian inflection," it said.

Following Churchill's death in 1965, Charlie was sold to pet shop owner Peter Oram, who keeps her at the garden centre in Reigate, Surrey, where she wanders around the grounds in summer but stays indoors in the winter.

"She is a very old parrot," Sylvia Martin, who works with Oram, told Jack.

"She has become increasingly quarrelsome -- and, if the truth be told, is now looking a little scruffy."

Nope..not me!

I just lost it now.......laughing!!! :)

Is it a catch22
 

Frontpage news. 7/18/2004 (Australian time)




Picture of shocked onlookers.

nyuk..nyuk...nyuk :)