Thank you all for your advice. There are some gems in here! I'll respond more fully later to them ~~ and anyone else who cares to post (hint, hint)

WI and Aqua -- any tips???? :D :D :D I'd love more male perspective!

HOLY CRAP! CONGRATULATIONS, SWEETY! that's awesome.

i doubt i can add much more to what everyone else has said. My wife seems to think that me being on the road 5 days a week has helped, but I wouldn't really give that advice to anyone. :D

Like Jseal referred to...after having been together for 10 years already, well you must have a pretty good grasp on what it takes.

My grandparents were married (to each other) for 62 years. 62 years! Their secret...they cared more about each other than they did themselves. It really was that simple. I have countless examples of the little ways they showed each other they cared.

They used to kiss every night at 7:00. I asked them seperately why they kissed every night at 7:00 and my grandmother said "Your grandfather likes when I kiss him." And what did my grandfather say? Yup, you guessed it. "Your grandmother likes when we kiss."

When my grandfather got home from work at 5:00 every day (because nothing going on at work was more important than coming home to his wife and family) my grandmother had dinner on the table for him. Now before you freak out and start screaming about how sexist that was, remember what I said earlier. She had dinner waiting for him because she wanted to. He would never have been upset over something like dinner. She did it because she cared about him.

The only thing I ever heard them argue about was changing the sheets on the bed. Whenever one would do it, the other would argue that they should've just left it for them. Can you imagine arguing with your spouse because they got to strip the bed and not you?

So...just care about Mr. Osuche.

WI, what you said is so true! I recently learned that a restaurant Mr. Osuche and I had frequented for years -- about once per month for 8 years -- which I secretly thought was mediocre but thought he loved....LMAO....we BOTH dislike it! He thought I LOVED it. So that just goes to show you .... well, that we need to communicate better. ;)

We often wonder if we're weird. (other than the obvious) We discuss, but we never fight. I don't think either one of has has yelled at the other for about 5 years. Not that we don't have our problems ~~ but they're the big persistent ones like when to have kids. We've been "discussing" that for about 8 years now. :D

There is one of your problems. Discussion is not how you get kids. If you need more info on the kid issue let me know.

Not speaking from marrage experence - but if you love the person uncondissionally then you will not do anything to hurt them(hurt can be words, actions, feelings). Because hurting them hurts yourself and that is not what love is.

Have you ever read the children's books George and Martha? That is how I perceive a good marriage. Like you Osuche we don't scream and yell. We just respect each other too much. Mr. Lil is not an expressive/passionate man (I'm not talking about sex) but I know that about him. I am the opposite and he admires that in me. I think we tend to compliment the other's weaknesses. Our life is calm, no drama. I don't think I could be happy with someone who didn't think about how his actions would affect me/our family. It's the only thing keeping me from hopping a plane and ruining someone's life.:D

Some woman marry in hopes that SHE can be the one to change the man. Some men marry in hopes that He can keep her just as she is. Life is ever changing. Let it...not you...be the one to bring it about. Then...go with the flow!

Always say "I Love You". It never loses it's effect!

If you keep seperate accounts...have at least one joint account. It's a marriage for crying out loud! Share the monetary burdens and benefits!

There's tons more but I am running out of time this morning. Best wishes hun! I'm so happy for you!

**scribbles furiously**

Joint accounts? Hmmm...but then I'd have to see how he spends money on books....maybe that would be a good bonding experience. :D

Lil and I have something else in common ~ a calm and respectful marriage. Hope we can keep ours after having kids. ;)

Discussion does NOT create children. :D :p Really?!? I'll have to mention that one to Mr. Osuche.



THANKS everyone ~~ there are some gems in here.

Sounds like someone's been listening to Steph! :D

Money. My parents have two joint Visa accounts. But they only have a card to one of them. They both have a cash account for interact - that was set up after mom bought something and then dad tried to buy something later on that same day. Pay cheques are deposited into a joint account. All bills are paid from that account too. Sounded complicated but it works for them.

Five tips:
 

1) Communication...if you're not on the same page, confront it immediately.

2) Give 75%, take 25%.

3) Put your money together.

4) Be kind and considerate.

5) Say "I love you" at lot. It matters.

I've been married twice
Found both time sext tailed of remarkably post wedding
not sure if most women are like that or maybe its just me thats the problem

Love?
 

Love is about being best friends,

its much more than sex, though sex is a part, love is being there thru tough times, doing the washing, giving your partner a nite out, enjoying all of the best and worst, loving the unappealing bits and it is so fragile and just so, so easy to damage,

for me its constantly listening to her job problems, understanding when she has a headache, hot waterbottle and duvet when its a tough period, tea and chocolate, opening a door for her, taking out the trash, being me..

sex is just one way of being open and vulnerable

good luck

wildeye

Have I told you guys lately that I love you all? Thanks for the tips....I've enjoyed reading (and thinking about) your thoughts. :D

CONGRATULATIONS!!

(I've been away for awhile and just found out.)

Wishing you a home filled with love, laughter, good health and happiness!!

I say 'ditto' to all the great advice already given!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Treat each day like theres no tomorrow......
Never part angry,
Talk about everything,
Laugh together,
Cry together,
Share your dreams,
And love with all your heart!!