'Scientology - What You Don't See' (;))..."I'll make millions to add to my other millions" cackled Oprah, evilly...Just then, Oprah's manservant Clint Eastwood comes into the room to serve her tea and drops the bombshell....'

"but surely they'll be someone to stop you" Clint said, "like who?" Oprah snapped back. Just then the window smashed and in jumped Elton John claiming, "I will, This evil plan will never work"

"And how do you work that out?" said Oprah, sneering. "Well," said Elton adjusting his wig. "I've written a song about it and my partner David Furnish is going to organise a charity benefit gig to stop your evil plan coming to fruition...mwahahaha all we need now is for...."

"George Michael to agree to do the benefit with us and we'll have it made." What Elton didn't realize was that......."

simply putting spandex underwear over tights does not make you a super hero. Clint spun around knocking Elton to the floor "OK punk do you feel lucky".

Elton looked up, gulped and whispered....

"... not right at the moment, Clint. But, when Will Smith uses his MIB gun on you, that will all change."

Clint laughed a dry, cynical laugh and said "That's not a real gun - he bought it from Toys R Us..." Eltons bottom lip began to tremble and he started to cry...just then, there was a huge sound of glass smashing...the assembled company turned to look, and who should have shimmied in through the window but...

... Britney Spears, who had just left the rehab centre after just one day for the second time! "Anyone see my wig?" she asked.

Suddenly the adjoining bathroom door slammed open, exposing a wet, dripping and towel-clad Susan Lucci, smelling of lilac bubble bath.

"Here's a wig for you, you no-talented, baldheaded, pantyless bitch!" Lucci screamed, taking one sinewy hand, snatching the hair off her head and throwing it at Britney in one fell swoop.

Lucci added, "By-the-way, your boobs look phoney."

"They are" said Britney "I had a builder install them at the same time he built my swimming pool - He had a couple of bricks and some mortar left, so I thought 'Why not?'" Lucci looked intrigued and asked for the builder's name and number - she was shocked when it turned out to be...

Bob Villa, who had done some work at one of Lucci's summer homes a few years back. She then said to Ms. Spears, "Hmmmm, I wonder if he could do something about this?" as she..........

lifted up her skirt "I need a new chest of drawers putting in" ( ;) couldn't think of a better euphemism...lol). Britney laughed and said "He'd need an awful lot of wood to sort that out, here I think you'd better have my gynaecologists number instead...". So, Susan diligently called the gynae's number to get an appointment - imagine her surprise when she turned up at the surgery the next day to be greeted by....

...edward scissorhands :D she ran screaming from the office and straight into the arms of...

Anthony Hopkins (dressed as Hannibel Lecter) who immediately offered to take her for dinner - all washed down with a nice chianti ;) . She pondered on whether to take him up on this for a moment, but before she could answer...