"lezbos"?
As a "part time" lezbo, I can tell you that some reasons there are women who have problem with male sexuality.
Please read to the end before you get angry.
1. Yes, I have fucked/ had oral sex with other men before I met you, maybe A LOT more. If you are going to get upset if I tell you how many, DON'T ASK ME.
2.Yes, I have sex with other women, and no you can't watch/join in/ask me to tell you all the explicit details on our first (maybe only) date.
3. Referring to #2, we DO NOT take turns being the "man"
4. I haven't been a virgin for a long time so don't ask.
5. Yes, I have done this before, likely more times than you.
6. I am sure you believe you are a great lover, and you may be, but I NEVER tell men how good/bad they are, so don't ask. I will only say that I enjoyed it/you. It can be DANGEROUS for a woman to tell a man anything other than he is good/great/fantastic. Some men DO NOT handle anything less than this well, and women are beaten or even murdered all the time for making this mistake.
7. If your brains are not in your pants, then ACT LIKE IT! Don't let your little head think for you. Sometime we find it cute, but mostly not. The women you dislike are the ones that take advantage of this, for control. A man who won't fall for this is more attractive to the women you are looking for, I think.
8. Being drunk DOESN'T MAKE you SMARTER, SEXIER, OR MORE ATTRACTIVE!
9. When I am standing on a balcony on Bourbon Street during Carnival (Mardi Gras), and am about to lift my blouse to expose my bare breasts to several thousand people, being called "bitch" by several hundred drunken males in unison is not very fun/sexy/exciting.
The fact that the thousand other males there tolerate this without lifting a hand or saying a word to stop it isn't fun either.
There is more, but I think I have made my point.
Now the other side.
Hon, you sound like a prince.
I mean this!
Please don't change to be more like those "other men" that you think we are attracted to.
Most of us have to kiss a lot of frogs beore we find our prince.
(or princess)
Please consider two things.
First, if you try to meet nice women, a lot of them, and don't expect to go to bed with them the first date, you will likely find the person you want. A lot of "nice" girls are hellions underneath. By the way, bars may not be the place to find the love of your life.

And last, yes I know, WOMEN ARE JUST AS BAD AS MEN!!!


Wickedly,

WW

<~~~~~~stands applauding

As a recovering alcoholic;I can attest to the fact;that #8;is true!
I didn'tsay that I want to admit it;just that I can attest to it. Irish

First I would like to say hello and welcome to pixies.

I have never been intimidated by male sexuality. I myself am 30. I was raised to be a good girl and not that sex was bad, it was just something that was never ever talked about. So, I started out in most relationships doing what was expected of a female and denying myself of satisfying my needs, wants and desires.
Because to even suggest that I had a sexual appetite was frowned upon. I am now with someone, who I think will be here till the end, who has been very supportive of me coming out of my shell so to speak. There are times when I suggest things or tell him I want to try something different that he just shakes his head at me or raises an eyebrow but he usually tries to indulge me. But on the flip side of this, this is all new to him as well, because females in his past have not been very open sexualy with him as well. So, was never allowed to do things that I am now saying I would like to do. I think alot of it has to do with how you relate to the other person. I was married for over 5 years and we had lived together for a year before that, and I have tried and done more sexually wonderful things with the s/o now of only 3 years than I ever thought was possible. We have done things that would have gotten me hurt for even thinking of them to myself in my 1st marriage.
So, all I can say is make that special person feel exactly that, special. The more I can trust someone the more likely you are going to get what you want from me and the more likely I am going to let you know what I really need and want myself.
Just keep looking and open up, and change the attitude a little bit. I am a school teacher and mother, but in the bedroom (or anywhere else for that matter) I try my best to make all the fantasies come true, for him and me.

Agreed, but don't rule them out completely either.
I met my husband in a bar and we've been married 30 yrs. With the exception of his current sexual difficulties, it's been a very good and very happy marriage. And yes, I know we are the exception to the rule.;)

Fondle you... You have re-enforced one thing for me.. that the number one problem is communication.. not just verbal... but physical as well.

I am 31... and single.. have been for a long ass time.. and believe it or not... the issues you present are not all one sided. Dating is difficult... finding the "right" partner is hell... and finding the ultimate life long partner seems to be proving damn near impossible. I think that for the most part... those of us over 25 and still single tend to be a little more cynical than those who are "attached"

I don't suggest you give up... that is an individual choice.... and one I don't recommend.

Everyone is screwed up. One thing I despise is men who will only sleep with *virgins*- WW's story of the hundreds of men yelling *Bitch* really.. thats not cool. Men want little, naive girls, for some reason. I think, mostly, they're afraid of being *not good* or *not enough* for their partner. Also, there is the *whore factor*, which comes into it, on one hand, it stems from what I just mentioned, with men frowning upon womens sexuality and reinforcing the message they get from childhood. Little girls are certainly not encouraged to be sexual. I think this comes from a time when a womans *Purity* was a saleable object.

Personally, I don't care, and to offer some advice to FY- the internet is a great place to meet people. You actually get to know them. And there's no physical reality holding people back, ie, you say more because the fear of loss isn't as great.

One of the first things;that keeps;getting my attention;here;is the
# of people that talk about "getting taken advantage of."My wife
& I;have always agreed that;to be taken advantage of;you have
to let someone take advantage of you!Many people;are also;steriotyped.I hate steriotypes!Example:An alcoholic;is always
someone;with their bottle;in a brown paper bag;hangs out in the
park, wears a trenchcoat;and beats their wife and kids.They also;
can't hold a job!Etc. Irish
P.S.Spoken as a recovering alcoholic!I have;also;been married for
38 yrs and have two unabused children.

Thanks for all your comments. I think I'm more together now. :)

And a little feel on the backsides of the ladies who were most kind to me. :D

I read through this thread and i found it very interesting,
and i think the question asked by fondle is very easily reversible : why are men so intimidated by female sexuality? i know this was hit on by a few of you, however, i don't believe the point really came across. I have had many guys who have told me that they feel intimidated by me. How am I suppose to react to this? I don't intend to change in my ways, being open with your sexuality is important. and don't get me wrong, i don't walk around flaunting sex. i just believe that until men can feel comfortable around a sexually experienced woman, women will not be comfortable with a man's sexuality. it doesn't help to have men like you telling us how we should be, and men on the opposite side telling us how we should be. this is something a woman should decide for herself, and when that decision is made, no matter what it is, it should be accepted and respected. all right, i'm done ranting now.

ASH,

I believe the reason you find men who are intimidated by you is because when a beautiful woman such as yourself is obviously confident in her sexuality, guys who are somewhat lacking in self confidence (in life and/or sex) feel more confident that they can get SOMEWHERE with her because there are fewer barriers to break through. Also, this lack of self-confidence lends one's personality to desiring domination... a role you can obviously fulfill. This personality is the type that would basically let you live his life for him, and would do whatever you want... and may even mistake this desire for "guidance" as a devotional love that would do anything for you. Ladies, this may be why the nice guy you are interested in seems to be caught up with some overbearing pain in the ass who treats him like shit. Forgive me for being Freudian, but it may be what he needs... what he's used to... (forgive me) what he grew up with.
The problem arrives when the stronger female personality does not wish to be a controlling bitch. In this case, a strong wonderful spirit such as yours needs another strong spirit with which it can bond, the two feeding off each other and strengthening each other. A relationship with a weaker persona will most undoubtedly be based on sex. Not that that's always a bad thing, but it can lead to a very premature "clinginess" when a guy feels he accomplished something with you and likes the feeling, and then (unfortunately) a complete reversal of attitude when he feels like you are blowing him off because you don't NEED him the way he needs you.
Anyway, I go now to burn my soapbox. Sorry all... I thought maybe something could apply to what several people are wondering.

-PS Nice pic, ASH :)

It'd be hard to improve on the comments already posted. I have just a mundane comment or 2. It can be very difficult to meet women after you're past college age. Often we have a chance to meet only or primarily peers of the same sex in our line of work. As a nurse who works third shift at a hospital, I have had a heck of a time meeting anybody. The vast majority of my peers are females, and who is up and available to socialize late at night on the nights I am off or during the day when I am at home? Also, many of the great women out there aren't extroverts, so we tend to stay at home or go to places for more solitary activities, such as reading at Barnes & Noble over a cup of coffee for a couple of hours, walks or jogs in the park, or out for dinner or coffee with one or two friends. Then you through in women your age and older who are divorced single parents...when do THEY have time to go out and pursue a nice guy...heck, ANY guy? Just wanted to point those things out to let you know that you probably just aren't seeing many of us out there for some of these reasons. Believe me, we ARE here (smile)!

Thanks for your comment, BlueSwede. I'll try to keep what you said in mind.

WELL I DON'T THINK WOMEN ARE INTIMIDATED BY SO CALLED MALE SEXUALITY.I THINK ITS HOW THE WHOLE ISSUE IS BEING PRESENTED TO THE PROSPECTED FEMALE.
IF YOU COME OFF AS COCKY BY SAYING OHHHH BABY I CAN MAKE YOU CUM UNTIL YOU BEGGED ME TO STOP....THAT HAS LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO DO WITH SEXUALITY,,THAT HAS TO DO WITH ARROGANCE....IF YOU ARE TRYING TO IMPRESS BE YOURSELF THATS NOT ONLY SEXUAL BUT SENSUAL. THERE ARE FEMALES WHO DO THE SAME THING SO IT DOSEN'T DISCRIMINATE.

you live on the east coast? are you sure? i've lived here my whole life and find it easy to talk and joke with people i meet around from in line at the grocery store to the car next to me in traffic. as far as women being intimitaded i used to get hooted and hollared never mind grabbed in the bars (damn sobriety). this reminds me of the old joke about how only those not getting laid spend hours talking about the diseases one can get if precautions aren't followed. along the same line if three people tell you you're an ass look honestly in the mirror