When I first moved to Iowa, it was to a town of about 10,000, right on the Mississippi River, across from Illinois. Over time, I came to know some people there, and, when talking with them, found out that some of them had not once ventured out of the state--even though that just meant driving across a bridge.

Some of them had no desire to go across that bridge, even though they knew what was on the other side, could see it. Some of them were envious of me and my travels, of the places I'd been, but were still satisfied with their comfortable existence. Some listened intently, a seed planted in the back of their mind, that maybe "someday" it might be nice to venture across. Others made plans to talk to their S/Os about maybe taking a trip--whether it was a day trip or something longer.

It all depended on the person--their views of their lives, their happiness with what they had, their limitations or their sense of adventure. What would Sue, Mary, or Mabel say if one day I said I'd like to take the trip, after not having the desire before?

I think it's a little similar to what we've been talking about on this thread. It's up to the individual person--a sense of what's right, what he or she is comfortable with, how satisfied he or she might be if crossing that bridge never comes to fruition.

If you can't live with the results of your actions(if they become public), you better rethink your decision matrix. My answer would be yes. EXCELLENT QUESTION.

I think that given the right situation or the right amount of temptation anyone will cheat. Most conditions being a mutual understanding with another person, a lack of something that can be fullfilled elsewhere, or quite possibly the over-SEXed factor. The over-SEXed factor being a person finding themselves in a situation where you literally smell sex. Let's say for instance a room full of naked horny cheerleaders or for some a room full of naked and horny Vin Diesel knockoffs.

WOW IAKaraokeGirl! Wonderful juxtaposition! I am in awe!

I'm too humble to respond with something like, "Thank you, thank you" (taking a bow). :)

Great point IAKaraokeGirl!!!!


~ "crossing the bridge" takes on a whole new meaning to me when you have a family......... if you "cross the bridge" are you saying that your lust, or desires, or needs are more important than those people who you are committed too ( kids are considered a commitment in this reference too)??????

How do I get an invite to this party???????

LMAO souls_cry2000!!!! I'm just trying to figure how this would come out in the wash.........

"Honey, I swear I couldn't help myself. You would have done the same thing if the room had been full of Vin Diesel's (Steven Tyler's in my mind)..........how can you slight me this room full of naked, horny cheerleaders? It's not like I invited them........they just happened to be in the same room at the same time. I'm only human, for crying out loud! I might have a more sensitive nose than others!"

Oh gawddddddddddd!!!! ROFLMFAO!

Lixy, I'm with you. I know I hate it whenever something like that happens to me.

Cross the bridge to the orgies....everyone follow me

>Cross the bridge to the orgies....everyone follow me<

There's a joke--or a song--somewhere in this.

(Imagining hundreds of Pixie's members marching single file across the bridge...)

Damn, I've seen this in two other threads. Must be some common underlying tenet.Hmmmmmm

I think I agree with you, souls_cry! I guess it's been a while since I have believed in the neverending love and faithfulness. In my last "serious" relationship that lasted more than 10 years, I cheated myself after a year. It was something I couldn't help. I just met a guy frim school, there had always been a sexual tension between us and someday we just met again and "had to" have sex. The next day, me and my boyfriend flew to Cuba on vacation and I didn't even feel guilty. I have had sex with someone else for the first time, but it didn't effect my relationship in any way. Many years later, I tried to break up with him and end the long relationship, things weren't going great anymore. So almost 9 years after cheating at him for the first time, I did it again, this time with other intentions. I slept with a colleague, just to make it easier to end the relationship.

Now, after being single for almost 4 years, I jsut had an affair with a married man. You may say, " that new pussy will never really take care of you when you're siclk" or something like that. BUT you know what? I would LOVE to make him tea when he's sick or cook dinner for him. But I can't. Because he has a wife at home who he doesn't talk to anymore and who never asks how his day has been. So where is the moral here? Is it staying together, no matter what, just for the sake of staying together and of the fear of being alone? Or has "moral" something to do with being honest to each other and admitting when love is over one day and there is nothing left to talk about?

What's wrong with moving on? Any chance there might be more than one love in your life?

Great to have your point of view Sugar, and I know exactly where you are coming from.

Actually I am bumping this, I was reading Sugar's post again and I just think it is perfectly to the point of the matter, for me anyway.

I agree with Sugar, as well. It all depends on your comfort level. Many people have a misconception about affairs...in my humble opinion, it's not always about the sex. Often something else is missing--a vital part of something--whether it's friendship, companionship, caring...or, as Sugar puts it, someone asking you how your day has been. Certainly, sexual adventure in and of itself is not a bad reason, either...but a person venturing into something like this should examine his or her own reasons and what he or she expects out of this. Are you looking for a one-time, rip-your-clothes-off love fest? Or are you looking for someone who can give you that, as well as a listening ear when you've had a rough day and a pat on the back when you've done something well?

Over the years, I've realized that "serial monogamy" is not for everyone...that there are certain people out there who are capable of loving more than one person at a time...that there are people out there who, no matter how moral they are and how much they love their significant other, simply *cannot* remain faithful. I don't judge those people, nor do I consider it a "character fault." That's just who they are, and once they accepted that, it seemed like their comfort level rose, because they could be content with themselves and who they were.

And now I'm going to get off my liberal soapbox. :)