What's a delicate way of describing penetration?

If the shoe fits ...

If the shoe fits...........

What did the prince mumble repeatedly as he peered up Cinderella's skirt?

When in doubt...

What did the man say when he brought *both* hookers home?


Lick the plate

What did the dom tell her slave to do.

You can trust you car to the man who wears the star.

What did the General tell the woman who was stranded on the highway?

Finger Lickin Good

What did the colonel say to the young lady after they had sex.

The Lone Ranger

Who is somebody who really enjoys sex for one.


Its a local call.

what did I tell the guy who tried to dial long distance for pizza?

jinx

what is one thing that is always better when "High"?

bronze in swimming.

What do they call a poolside threesome.

Keep your end up.

what did the horny guy say to the woman when he want doggie style sex?

that is a bargain

When asked about the enlarged bar ... what did the guy say? :trout:

Cheaper by the dozen.

what did the bartender say when you ordered a round of shots?

lap dancers

What are Sumo wrestlers never?


A little to the right please.

what did the guy say to the woman who put her hand on his left thigh?

unmentionables

What are large political campaign contributions?


Spineless

How does Margaret Thatcher like her men?

Rock hard.

What was Tess’s previous nic?


It’s sticky.

what was exclaimed when the jelly doughnut exploded?

krispy kreme

What do you get from a frozen cow?


Fold it twice.

What not to do when putting on a condom?

Phone sex.

What costs a lot out of country?



Cyber sex.

What leads to sticky keyboards?

Alpha and omega

What is a polite way of prefacing the words "... damn it?"

I like sex because ...

can you think of a better way to spend your time?

just think....

What was the suggestion given to the lonely erotic novel author when his SO left him?

Tickets please ...

What does a bouncer at a popular brothel say?


He went thataway…

What's a good way to demonstrate the the "equal and opposite reaction" concept during an especially strong climax?

Eat me.

What does an M&M candy NOT say to someone who angers it?


It’s on my shoe.

where is the head of your penis?

meat popsicle.

What is a frozen frankfurter?


rear view mirror

ttt

Where is the last place you want to see your lover's husband?


A chocolate tally whacker

What would you whack a chocolate tally with?




Presidential Debates

What is an exercise in futility? (Bush will never learn how to speak the English language)


The Wedding Planner

What is a father with a shotgun?



Suggestion Box

What have I installed on my nightstand? :D

Lick the plate

What do you do for her that you shouldn't do at the dinner table?

It's hard to get up in the mornings.

What doesn't a horny woman want to hear her man say?




48 hrs.

What is the guinness world record for having sex?

Liposuction