"So am I to understand there's been a Towely-ban?" -Towely

SpongeBob: "Hey, Squidward, do you know what today is?"

Squidward: "Annoy Squidward Day?"

SpongeBob: "No, that's on the 15th."

"An experienced employee always carries a brick of lead in his hat." -SpongeBob

"Don't touch me. I'm sterile." -Patrick

Sandy: "Uh huh... and since when does yer house have feet?"

Patrick: "This is my mobile home."

"There's only one possible explanation: tiny, invisible ghost-monkeys changin' my channels." -Bravo

Neighbor girl: "Johnny, there are easier ways to make money than selling your blood."

Bravo: "But I need my eyes!"

Neighbor girl: "Maybe you can be the Master of Ceremonies."

Bravo: "I'll do it. I dunno what it means, but I like the word... 'Master'."

"Mom says never drive your head into a wood plank." -Cow

"Gimme that! You is reading it wrongly." -Chicken

Chicken: "Wouldn't it be easier to shave with a sharp rock?"

Sgt. Weenie Arms: "Sharp rocks are for non-men."

Double D: "Goodness gracious, Ed, does that really taste like cheese?"

Ed: "It's orange like cheese."

"We're gonna be rich! You could buy a chin, Ed. Think of it." -Eddy

"AAAAH! Scourge of the sea, release Rolf! Nanna, get the pliers!" -Rolf

"This isn't your average, everyday darkness. This is... advanced darkness." -SpongeBob

"Now I'm gonna go give that legless rascal what-for!" -Sandy

"Wow, that's pretty smart. Your parents must've been, like, part computer or something." -Plankton

"I don't understand. Is there a gas leak in here?" -Plankton

"If I knew being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I never would've signed up." -SpongeBob

Squidward: "Lemme get this straight. You two bought a giant-screen TV just so you could play with the box?"

SpongeBob: "Pretty smart, huh?"

Patrick: "I didn't think it would work."

Patrick: "We're doomed, SpongeBob. You're gonna hafta cut off my legs with a saw."

SpongeBob: "I can't do that, Patrick.

Patrick: "Why not?"

SpongeBob: "Cuz I already sawed off my own arms!"

LMAO...........ohhhhhh spongebob..

"I wish for universal peace and good will towards man-- no, wait! A talkin' monkey!" -Bravo

Genie: "Did you enjoy your first wish?"

Bravo: "Heck, no. That was the worst talkin' monkey I've ever almost been dissected by."

"Whoa, look at the Habius on that Corpus! Did I say guilty? Cuz I meant yowza!" -Bravo

"Your honor, in view of the defendant's sterling character and overall lusciousness, I recommend that she be put under house-arrest... my house." -Bravo

Bravo: "Aww, Karl, Momma doesn't love me anymore."

Karl: "Nope, she hates ya. So whattaya wanna do now?"

"I, The Bearded Man, am the most hideously malformed freak of them all. Look at my beard. Tremble!!" -The Bearded Man

"Whoop, there it goes... yep, my brain stopped." -Ed

Sara: "Ed, what's your sock doin' on my floor?!"

Ed: "Sleeping?"

"Oh, I get it. Yer with the bald people! What'd they offer you-- gum, nylons, tiny radios?" -Bravo

"Oh, sure, run away. Yer just a buncha baldy bald guys wallowing in yer own balditude." -Bravo

"I know what yer thinkin'. 'He'll forget all about the jiujitsu chop as soon as his short attention span kicks in and'-- hey, toy cars!" -Bravo

Karl: "Behold the joy and wonder that is the one-piece jigsaw puzzle!"

Bravo: "Too hard. Nobody can figure that out."

"Ranger Johnny, bring me the map. You claim this is the Ed-boy's house, but Rolf sees go-go Nazz-girl at the door. No badge for you!" -Rolf

Ed: "It's a harmonica!"

Rolf: "Not even close, square-peg-in-round-hole Ed boy."

Bart: "Mom, it's hard for us to leave with you standing there."

Homer: "Push her down, son."

"Son, when you're involved in a sporting event, it's not whether you win or lose, but how drunk you get." -Homer

"Are you mad, woman?! You never know when an old calendar will come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?" -Homer

"It's not my fault! The neighbor's dog told me to steal cable!" -Bravo