How to woo a virgin?
 

Hi all. I'm seeing this girl who is a virgin still. Now that isn't the issue. The issue is how do you get past that "block" that she has put up?

She has only ever had one b/f her entire life and so has very little experience in the matter's of sex. She hasn't even gotten herself off so as to experience an orgasm.

She has about 50 million reservations about every aspect of sex. She thinks that it is unhygenic to give oral, she thinks that it is dirty if a guy cums on her. That is just to name a couple.

So any help would be appreciated.

Seems to me you aren't even at the "sex" point. If you like this girl, and I assume you do, then develop the "relationship"...if the relationship blooms, great and if sex eventually occurs, even better.

Well rock, her and I get along like a house on fire.

She just has a million different reasons every 2 seconds. The r/ship is solid, I am asking on how to get this "block" of her's down. I know that time heals all,but if she doesn't get over her insecurities then it may cause problems. It ain't healthy. That is why I am asking for advice on this rather touchy matter.

OK....This is one of th emost emotionally tone-deaf posts I've seen in a very long time. Sex will arise naturally out of a relationship, when and if it makes sense to both parties. There's no way I know to "get her over the hump." Stop pressuring the poor lass, enjoy what you do have together, and see how things work out.

I know this sounds funny from someone who spends so much time on a sex forum, but there is so much mroe to life than just sex. Relax and enjoy her for who she is.

osuche, thanks,I understand that. I would just like some advice on helping her over the "block". I do understand that it is different for girls when they first dive into this. Us guys can make such a mess of it because all we have to do is stick "it" in. We spend so much time worried about trying to get there that we can forget that the girl is under us or wherever she might be during sex, that we don't take into consideration on what she is feeling. I mean for all we know we could be doing the best job in the world and they're like "is that it?".

Because she is a virgin, I want it to be something that she will cherish and not think "shit that was a disaster,fuck it hurt etc".

Just let the relationship run its course and don't worry about it :rolleyes2 if she wants to have sex she'll let you know.

Wasn't it about a week ago you posted a thread about another woman who wouldn't return your calls after having sex with you? "She just wasn't into you"?? And you were upset with that fact? And you said that you had another woman interested in you who was a virgin that you gave a "mercy fuck" to? Sheesh!!!!

How can you possibly have a solid relationship with this women within a week? And, this is yet, another virgin!!! Leave her alone.. if she is coming up with excuses every 2 seconds as to why she isn't interested in having sex it appears to me as if you are pestering her!!!! I would feel ashamed of myself if I were in your shoes! Allow her to make up her own mind and let it be! Do Not Pressure Her!!!!

Mark, you seem like an intelligent person...quit thinking about your dick and take into consideration other people's feelings, values, and decisions.

Oh my goodness man. I so don't get it. Are you trying to figure out life in five easy questions or what?

You have gone from giving a "mercy" fuck to a virgin, to a girl who has rebuffed you after haviing sex, all the way to yet another virgin who is the complete opposite of the first virgin and who doesn't want sex.

Man oh man with all these virgins you must live in Paradise! There wouldn't happen to be 72 virgins in total would there? hmmm......

Aside from all the above advice, if you are truly concerned about this virgin and her "block" to wanting to have sex. Build a trusting relationship with her and try to understand {listen to her} why she has the preconceived notions and excuses to not having sex. Once you can understand what is holding her back from having sex and she has built enough trust in you and the relationship to share those things with you -- then AND only then will you be able to help her emotionally work through each of her "blocks".

Not that it really matters, but coming from a virgin {me} if she has waited this long, she isn't looking for a date and a fuck. Not all women are programmed the same and that's the beauty of being a human, there isn't a magic formula to unlock each of our legs and make us beg for your precious cock to slam into us and make us cum.

I've seen it said in several of your threads that the mind is a sexy and wonderful thing. The sooner you realize that women are more than a piece of fuck flesh the better off you will be in understanding the key that will unlock her legs. At that same time you might even find that relationships are more than sex.

Um, go ask the virgin you mercy fucked last week, maybe she'll have some insight on how virgin women think.

Dear Mr. Mark

You have two heads. Start using the other one.

In all seriousness, i don't mean to be a bitch, but I get the sneaking suspicion that you are just looking for a piece of ass, not a girlfirend, or even a relationship. Now I'm not privy to your private conversations with this lady, but make sure head #1 and heart are in the right place before you start worrying about head#2.

/me just shakes his head.

OOOOUUUUCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!! Phew talk about getting shot down in the line of fire. That "mercy" fuck was with a girl who just wanted to use me for sex so she would no longer be a virgin anymore.

This second virgin who I will call N I have known longer. In fact she knows what happened with the other virgin (Krystal). She was very surprised in her because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

As I talk with N on a frequent basis, and sure I tease her sometimes (all in good fun of course) she has asked me various questions on sex. I have tried to inform her as much as I can. She is very curious and I think she would just like to fill up her data bank.

I'm just asking some simple advice. I know that a r/ship is built around/on values, respect, trust etc. I'm not stupid. I understand that she want's to take her time. I'm not pressuring her into anything.

I came in here to ask for advice on how to her get adjusted to the concept. So when it comes time for it, then she is prepared.

First off if she has to rebuff you every "2" seconds you are being too pushy.

How can the relationship be solid? You were just bemoaning about another girl this week too.

I don't think for a minute it is her securities that may cause problems but maybe your own. Sounds like you don't feel manly unless your boinking someone.

What persay is not healthy? Her not being ready for sex? She is a smart cookie to know that she is not ready and even smarter if she sticks to her guns and waits for when SHE is ready.

I guess you'll just have to chalk it up to "being her loss" :devilish:

Well if nothing else Mark you may have learned here that women do not like to hear a woman being referred to as a mercy fuck. It is a degrading and juvenile way to describe a woman, especially a woman who gifted you her virginity.

Yep it must me anti-me day...............

Remember WI any more than twice means your playing with it! ;)

Some appear to feel a wee bit errr aggressive on this subject *L*

It may be the way the girl was raised that masterbation/sex is taboo or dirty

You need to talk to her....or ask her to discuss her fears with another woman maybe

Your sexual needs cum last mate...sorry bout that....But this girl needs to be given time to blossom before ya go pickin' at her bud so to speak

I spoke to you about this...you need to be patient...if ya cant be then ya need to let her go find someone who will

She didn't gift me anything. She wanted it pure and simple. She just came out with it "I want you to fuck me". Now does that sound romantic to you? I mean what the f... am I to do when she was all over me like a bad habbit and making it clear as day as to her intentions?

She even said herself "I want you to be the one that I fuck coz I just want to get it out of the way so I am no longer a virgin."

I asked her "why?"

She said "well I'm sick of all my friends telling me that they got laid on the weekend and such and such. They tell me how good it is. I'm here stuck with playing with myself and they're out there having fun with someone else."

Often time someone who has such an imflamatory attitude tends to bring out the worst in all of us, at least that's how it can be with me.

Mark, your attitude (as has been demonstrated so far) towards women sucks and when you mature some I think/hope you will see that it's not everyone's responsibility to sort you out. Until you learn to respect women, I would suggest you leave the less experienced women alone. Chances are they are going to do just as you have described and put up "blocks", refuse you and avoid you. They can feel the disrespect but don't know what to do about it so they run or hide. The women who have responded to you here also feel the disrespect but they are mature enough to know that they do not have to tolerate it and can just speak up and tell you why. As long as you continue to make the choices you have then you are going to continue to see similar results.

And you made a choice to do it. You need to learn to accept responsibilty for your choices.

Do you not get it?

Women do not like it when a man refers to ANY woman as a mercy fuck!

It is not respectful.....it is demeaning and crass.

That is what has brought this thread to where it is.

That's it from me.....

I am off to smut! ;)

I understand that and can only go by what he has posted, of which I have read all. He has made choices about what he has posted and needs to be aware of how he comes across. We all have lapses in how we say something but I am not basing my opinion on 2 words in one post. I have read posts where he suggests violence as a way to solve problems. I have read posts where he reduces people to ethnicities and penis size. I have read others full of misinformation. I know it's hard to come into a new place but his first 5 posts were very opinionated advice posts, which does not usually denote someone trying to get aquainted. Despite that I continue to have hopes each time he posts that something will change. If he's an OK guy then that should be apparent somewhere. If his posts make him come across as a jerk then he needs to reconsider the content. We are all responsible adults.

I also realize that I make choices too and I think it just best for me to chill and not respond or attempt to try to make sense of threads that make me uncomfortable.

If he doesn't really feel or hold the opinions as he has put forth into words,it is not our fault for taking what he has said at face value.

He surely hasn't been flamed by any standards that I have seen on other boards.

I don't think that anyone can fully prepare someone for that stuff like that. The most you can do is to continue to answer her questions if she asks. And if she wants advice on it, then be receptive to that. In the end, the decision is up to her so there's nothing much else you can (or IMO, should) do.

You know what Sharni when I was a newbie as you say I almost left due to my opinion in a thread being jumped all over by you.........I felt centered out and embarassed. In fact I was quite upset.......three years later I am still here.

I'm sure he is not an ogre but if he is going to post here he will be responsible for the content of his posts just as is everyone else. If he continues to ask for advice, he's going to continue to get some. Flaming will not be tolerated, regardless of the target. But if you piss members off (especially unwise to choose an entire sex) with your posts, then you have to accept the consequences of your actions. I agree that a pack mentality does occur but usually only when you anger the entire pack.

My hope is that he finds someone who he cherishes and will learn tons by exploring all the wonderful things there is to learn about his woman. I think the key is to slow down and look around. Don't be in such a hurry. If she is meant to be the person in his life then sex will be a natural by-product. I'm hoping as we all get to know him as well as you have we will find him someone who has new ideas to contribute. I'm not so old to think I can't learn something from everyone.

Mark, How old is your lady friend? Is she old enough to visit here?

Don't flatter yourself Sharni. I am just as opinionated and tough as anyone. I choose not to let people run me off if I don't want to go.

LOL.....thank you

The difference between you, Sharni, and others who responded, is that you have more insde information than what we have which did not come across or additional explanations given in any of his posts until a response was given by others. We all stated our opinons - albiet some more harsh than others - me being one. And I agree, had the information been worded differently or explained better my response may not have harsh. Had he asked and stated that this girl wanted the information and that it wasn't coming directly from him, the response probably would have been different. However, the thread wasn't worded in such a way that I would have interpreted it any differently than what information was given. Nor were his other threads. I did not fill in the "holes", I based my response on the information given and in the tone that the questions/information was given. If that information wasn't the full story then, like you said he is, he needs to be sorry for not filling us all fully. It isn't our responsibility to try to interpret anything in a manner other than which it is given.

With the right information - we who run in "packs" can be pretty friendly and accepting. All a newbie has to do is take the time to read the threads more and he/she will see that. Just as the "old-timers" have responsibilties, "newbies" do as well.
He needs to spend more time looking around and reading...

Yep just what i told him...i let him know that it was not entirely the 'old timers' fault...and that what and how he posted came across badly..

But we still all need to remember that the written word is damned hard to get ya meaning across at times....an awful lot can be read into what you read...

:):)

Ok all. Yes I am back. Had to go and pick up my son from school. First day and all. Now ok I screwed up with the start with the wording. But as sharni did say it can be a might hard to try and find the correct concept/text/meaning/words for what one is trying to say. Yep I did deserve to a point some of what was said. As I did say to Lil on one other occasion, I am new here and still learning the ropes. I know that isn't an excuse but it's fact.

Lil to answer you question about how old she is, she is in 20's. Me,well I'm 27. So I am not immature as it may come across in my threads. I do have a wonderful sense of humour if people actually can take the time to get to know me a bit in here.

If any of you have read my first story, you'll see some of that humour. I'm not perfect by no means, who is? So if any of what I put down in here got up wind of some of you then I am sorry. We all make mistakes so we should be able to redem ourselves.

Come say Hi to me and I'll say hi back. I don't bite......much.lol

Maybe you should pass the URL here to your friend.