Southerness
 

This may have been posted before, but it's so good, I thought I'd post it again ...

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissey fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, .... As in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, and a good ol' boy.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal! is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines; and when we're in line, we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.


In the South, y'all is singular, .... All y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we! do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" ... And go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning and bless your little heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts; I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need is a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Charleston (Chawl'stn)
Savannah (S'vanah)
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Atlanta (Addlanna)

Southern girls know men come and go, but true God loving girlfriends are forever!

Now Sugar, just pass this on to some friends who were raised in the South .... Or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it ... We know you got here as fast as you could!!!

----

This came in the same email as the above and while it doesn't quite relate ... I thought it was pretty good, too. Made me think of PAGAN 08!

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting, "Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!"

Faith is believing in advance what only makes sense in reverse.

But doesn't it just melt you when you hear a southern lady's accent? :loveshowe:

Amen Brother!

As someone who has lived below the Mason-Dixon Line, I truly appreciate that DB!

Bless my Yankee soul!

Does it mean I'm now a southerner too? since I too can comprehend all of it?
(I didn't think so!)

That last sentence was a joke, all you TRUE southerners. I know that there is NO way in HELL that a Yankee like me, could be considered a "southerner".

I drove down to Akron Ohio once. Does that count? :confused:
















:rofl: cute DB. ty :)

Wooohooooo.....bout time us "Dixie Gals" got some recognition!! I'm from NC and tired of people makin fun of my accent. :rolleyes:

Right on DB, love it sweetie!

BlondBabe,

They're not making fun of it, just trying to hide their jealousy even from themselves.

LOL Oldfart, never thought of it that way. Thanks! Gives me a new perspective on em ;)

Ya'll are just too precious! ;)

Oldfart,
Do I have a southern accent?

I sure did enjoy readin that little piece you went and posted DB. Bless your sexy, perverted heart. :)

Lil,

You betcha

Just as well I don't have an accent.

Don't tell my mom. She's from Jersey.

My ear's not attuned to southern, eastern, midwest, Texas etc.

It's a little like art, I don't know if it's southern but I like it.

Charmer^^^

It's only what you bring out in me.

You're good.

How do I answer that one without self incrimination?

I plead a fifth of Drambuie.

i mus be a southerner trapped in a northerner's bod cause lots of that stuff applies only i don't have an accent and i'm pretty sure i've never called anyone sugah :D

No wonder you thought she never listened to you. :yikes:

But I bet she was trying. :confused:








:rofl:

I like a Drambuie with coffee. :)


:jacques:

Drambuie chilled to 10C neat is just fine, but in coffee is good.

Body-shot off some of our Pixies ladies would be mind-blowing.

:jacques:
Is that WITH or IN coffee? :confused:



Let's keep this a Southern thread.
Does White Lightning go IN, along WITH the coffee, or only used to heat it up? :shrug:

hey Y'all................southern through and through here


complete with the accent and all the funny words