Health update
 

Ok, I just got out of the psych ward earlier today. Here's the story behind it (and one that only 2 other Pixie's do know about (and thank you, thank you, thank you a million times for helping out Lizzardbits!!!!).

I suffer from very bad depression. Usually, I'll have an episode and am able to find ways to work through it. However, this last Sunday, things got to a point where I couldn't handle things anymore (and thus, another aspect of my mental illness, suicidal thoughts, reared its head yet again). It has happened once before this bad, and that time (back in 2002, iirr) required an overnight visit to the psych ward. This time, I had the notes almost written and a plan in place, but at the last minute I called a friend in to read the note I had intended for her. Then proceed to call another friend (who hadn't realized things were quite as bad as they were, apparently I hide things way too well) and let her know I was headed to the hospital.

I spent 2 nights in the psych wards, I've been put on new anti-depressants (I had quit taking mine 5 years ago, due to the loss of insurance and lack of money to pay for them myself and the feeling that I really didn't need them anymore). I've also been put on a sleep aid, which should also help.

Right now I'm enjoying my time outside again, and have things in the works to get insurance through my state and information enough so that in the future I'll have things in place to help pay for the meds (fortunately, one is on Wal-Marts $4 med list). I'll also being going back to a conciller (sp?) and I have several support people who know exactly how bad things were for me and are working with me to make sure things never get this bad for me again.


Next up, after I get my insurance is a doctor visit to see how bad my back is getting again (it seems my back is going again for the 3rd time, 2 surgeries already). The depression, the extreme back problems, and the insoimnia are all tied together, and since I've got 2 of the problems worked on, it's time to go for the third. I'm also looking at disability, at least for some time, just to get back on me feet and completely healthy again, as all these health issues have made it practically impossible for me to work.

I'll update when I can, and I'm sure Lizzardbits will pass on news if she can when she gets any

best of luck to you! i hope things are looking better real soon

well, things already look much better than the did last week lol

Thank you for reaching out to get help!

yeah, but I wish I would have done it before then, but I get too stubborn and withdrawn

I am sorry to hear that it is that serious of an issue. The spelling is "councilor". On a brighter note, it's great to hear you've survived and realized how deep you had gotten and decided against doing anything stupid.

Yeah, but I wish I would have learned after thefirst time years ago.

And thanks for the spelling, between trying to get used to the new meds and trying to type on a small notpad computer (almost too small for me big fingers) I gave up on trying to figure it out. My brain is still doing its own thing and is ignoring what my fingers are doing :roflmao:

Yup, you got it, ShadowsFate! I still only have access to here via my smartphone, but if there is anything you want me to pass on to the fantastic Pixies Peeps, I will!

We are just super glad that you are taking the steps in the right direction to better health! Remember, depression is NOTHING to be ashamed of! It is a chemical imbalance. We don't shame diabetics, or people with thyroid problems, or other chemical imbalances.

Know that many, many people care for and about what happens to you, you are not alone!

Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers, shadowsfate, that all will work out for the best and that you'll soon have that insurance protection.

Ditto!

You know what's needed... stick to it. If you ever start thinking you can just take yourself off the meds or handle it on your own, come back and read your own words in this thread. :)

I pray you'll get your health issues sorted out quickly and with the least pain possible. Be it emotional or physical.

You know, it's all these good wishes and helpful advice that makes me very happy a friend introduced me to Pixies. Hopefully I won't retreat from the world to much that I forget to stop in here from time to time to say hi. Thanks all, you are the greatest!!!!!!

Oh, wonderful, you get to play the antidepressant crap shoot.

Just keep this in mind: the big problem with Eeyore as an AA Milne character is his incurable optimism.

We're glad your friend did too! You are a great addition to the Pixie family. I hope things go better for you in life. Don't forget to take your meds, ask for help if ya need it but mainly....... don't forget to come here when you need a hug...... (((((shadowsfate))))) ..... :)

Ok, I got the news that I probably have the insurance I was looking for (but I'll beleive it when I get the official insurance card). Now, I get to try and weave my way through the rather poor mental health care system in my area.

I got told by the only mental health center in the area that I have to fill out some paperwork before they can even give me an appointment (and this was after stopping at one of their local offices and waiting for about 15 minutes without any sign of anyone to make an appointment, I knew I should have called first).

And I got a letter today from the group that manages the mental health aspect of my insurance that their goal is to make sure I get an appointment with a psychiatrist or therapist within 7 days of my release from hospital, with a number to call. So, I of course called the number, willing to take them up on their offer of them sending a mental healthcare professional to check in on me until I can get into the local mental health center. But what I got was a bunch of question and "advice" with no word on getting anyone to see me any sooner than whenever the local mental health center can manage to squeeze me in.

No wonder so many people in my area give up (come to think of it, I think that's a part of the reason I gave up 4 years ago. I went for 4 years total and saw 5 different therapists, two of whom wound up quitting to go to other jobs. HMMM, I wonder if I had anything to do with that :rofl:)

Honestly, I don't put much stock in professional therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists. I find that a good friend with comfy pillows and a sympathetic ear does much better. I'm not nearly as deep as you in the depression area though. I hope all comes through okay and you get the help you need.

Well I have to see the psychiatrist/psychologist to get my meds (and the insurance I've apparently got requires me to go to one of them instead of a general practioner).

As far as therapist, I've gotten a lot of good help and tools through the ones I've seen. Plus, for some of the worst of my problems, I'd rather talk to someone that isn't a close friend (plus, in some cases, the friends are part of the problem)

Makes sense for the meds, and I can understand that friends, while meaning well, just make the problem worse. I was stating that I never really found a use for them. If they're helping you, by all means, keep going to them. I think I can safely say that everyone here wants you to get better, not worse.

Yeah, finding the right mental health care professional can be as much as a crap shoot as finding the right medication.

I hope so as well......You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I will pray that you find the help that need........XOXO Shadowsfate XOXO
Please don't give up...you have a life to get back to !!!

Even if I wanted to give up (and I don't), I have many good friends that won't let me, including the one that kicked my ass at mini-golf yesterday (she's already threatened me with a rematch :roflmao:)

Glad you got the insurance and can get the meds you need. :thumbs: Prayers will continue for you ... and, when you need a friend ... you've got a bunch of them here. ;)

Well, actually, looks like I didn't get the insurance. The unemployment extension went through just in time to make sure I didn't get my insurance (yet, at least). Which means I got to run out of the main anti-depressant I was on this last Tuesday.


And now, on top of the depression, my back went out bad enough to cause me to go to the ER (I knew it was going to happen eventually, just was hoping it would hold off). Basically, I felt like someone had taken a hold of my spine and was just squeezing it. Couldn't stand, sit, lay down, nothing. Fortunately I have a good friend near by who was willing to put her evening plans to the side to take me to the ER and wait the entire 2 hours til they released me.

Right now, I have no idea exactly what's going on with my back, but I have my guesses (probably either the disc that I was told was "unhealthy" back in 2002 finally went, or maybe one further up did). Considering that the 2002 surgery was on the 3rd disc from the bottom, and the 4th disc from the bottom bulged into the spinal cord requiring surgery in 2005, and the bottom two were 'unhealthy" (they didn't want to touch those at all because of all the nerves in the area and the fact that they hadn't bulged or herniated), I'm probably lucky I can get around as well as I do most day :roflmao:

More news to come, when I know what's going.

Any rambling, spelling errors and the like are all brought to you curtesy of toradol and demerol :roflmao:

holy shit.

Ok, it looks like I WILL be getting some sort of insurance to cover my hospital stay in July and the ER visit last night, but it's likely to have a big deductible. My Human Services case manager also gave me a few other people to check with to help cover the amount I'll owe. She also suggested that I look into disability also (and considering this is like the 6th time someone has suggested disability, it's probably a sign of what I should be doing).

And provided that Congress doesn't extend my unemployment benefits again, starting in September, I'll full medical without a deductible.

ok, new update. Just got off of the phone with my case worker and things have changed. July and August hospital bills are fully covered, but it sounds like September I'll have some sort of co-pay to pay due to unemployment. Basically just reversed the situation from before :rofl:

Doctor's appointment tomorrow, but I don't expect to have any new news about my back then. Hopefully he'll order an MRI and go from there. Plus I'll be talking to him about anti-depressants, since I've been without my main one for over a week now, thanks to the poor mental health program in my area. They refuse to even see me until I can prove I can pay (which I can now do) and even then, I'm looking at at least severals weeks before I can even get an appointment to see one of their doctors. I'll just end-run around that and talk to my family doctor about it (I've tried with him before about anti-depressants, after my first Mental Health ward visit back in 2002 or 2003, and was on Wellbutrin until I couldn't afford the meds anymore).

If they're going to screw you over, couldn't they at least try and make it so you also ejoyed it?

Sorry, reach arounds are not covered by any insurance. Neither is lube.

Well, that's state government for you, though my actually case worker really really tried everything she could to help me out, I think I talked to her 3 times in an hour as she cleared several ideas through her supervisor. but the upshot is is that my psych ward stay in July and my ER visit last Sunday (as well my doctor's visit this morning, my meds he prescribed, my chiropractor visit this afternoon, and upcoming optometrist visit) are all paid for. In fact, my case worker said get as much checked out as you can before the end of August, just in case I can't get nearly as much coverage come September.

And, as for the doctor visit, he put me on a muscle relaxant, an anti-inflammitory, and a different (cheaper, since Iowa is picky about how much they'll pay for meds) anti-depressant. And I definitely need the muscle relaxant, after all the running around I had to do today (including getting my boy registered for school :roflmao:). And since my boy, only a day back after 2 months with his mom, has asked to "help" make supper (grilled Ranch burgers, something he has been looking forward to for a while), I can take a couple of my meds and relax, lol

Well, that's some good news at least.

Tell your son there are some folks you know that are proud of how he's helped his mom! And, SF, please do take it easy, relax and perv a bit extra here at Pixies. :)

Well, here's the current state of things. I had an epidural shot today, which is supposed to help with the pin. However, when I've had these shots in the past, the effects haven't been the good for me. At best, I've gotten 3 days of relief. In 2 weeks, I go back to the doctor and let him know if the shot worked or not. And if it doesn't, the next step is to get refered to the neuro-surgeon who performed my other back surgeries.

As for the depression, it's as best under control as I'm likely to get. I'm on an anti-depressant, and the addition of the puppy should also help (which was a part of the reason my neighbor got the pup, as she suffers seasonal depression, and figured the pup will help us both out).

Basically, the way it feels now, I'm probably looking at another surgery in the near future, while being on the anti-depressants for good (as long as I can afford them, that is).

We'll keep the prayers coming. :grope:

See, now that's the kicker. Hang in there.

New update:

I saw my family doctor on Monday, just over 2 weeks after I had my epidural. And since the epidural failed to give any long term relief (it worked very good for 2 days, then gave about 50 relief 2 more days before it failed to give any relief at all), he's reached the limit of what he can do. So he's passing me on to a neurosurgeon.

The bad news is that it is likely I'll have to have surgery again, plus I'll have to wait before I can get an appointment (part of it is his long waiting list, and part is because he requires a new MRI done and my insurance requires around 2 weeks to approve it). Additionally, it's a hour and a half drive to his office (but, fortunately, I've already got a couple of people that have offered to drive me when I need to, including my best friend who's offered to take time off of work if she needs to to make sure I can get to my appointments).

The good news is that this neurosurgeon is the same neurosurgeon that did both of my other surgeries and he is the type of doctor that explains everything in a way I can understand them. And he does a good job too, considering that in the 5 years since the last surgery, I've been doing landscaping (not an easy job for some one with a good back, let alone one like mine). But, following his advice when I asked him if I'd be able to do work like landscaping, I took things carefully and lifted as properly as I could and avoid to strenous an activity on the days my back was acting up.

The bad news is...
The good news is...

Seems like it never, nor will ever change, doesn't it?

yeah, unfortunately my medical problems will never go away completely. I just have to enjoy the days when I'm healthy and take it easy on the bad days

New update, though not much of one. I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow (the 6th). Additionally, I have an appointment with the same neurosurgeon that did my other 2 surgeries on November 15 (the earliest he could get me in).

hope things turn out better then they have been

I hope they don't make them worse.