My Unwelcome Journey (Where I've been for the last 18 months)
 

In May 2013, I made a discovery that scared the daylights out of me. I had unusually sore boobs but when my man and I had sex the pain went away for a while. Even though my right breast was pretty sore, I enjoyed him sucking it till I orgasmed as I had many times before. As the timing was right for me, I put the discomfort down to worse than usual PMS, until after my shower.

As I was applying my moisturiser, a hunch told me that something was wrong. I was more conscious of the pores of my breast and so I Googled "orange peel skin". Well, my breast didn't look like the pics of that, but there were many references to redness, so I grabbed a mirror and to my horror, there was a red circle under my right nipple. It was a symptom of Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a highly aggressive form of breast cancer with a lower than average survival rate and a high recurrance rate. My gut said this is what I had but my common sense said "no, Flames, you don't Google your symptoms, you twit. You just had sex, Mr Flames probably bruised you". So I decided to watch and wait for a week or two.

During the next couple of weeks I just about sent myself crazy with worry. The redness didn't disappear and the classic peau d'orange started to appear. My pain remained on that side even after my period so I knew it was time to see the doctor. It wasn't a pleasant feeling when, after examining me, his voice was shaking. An urgent mammogram and an ultrasound were booked, followed by an appointment with a surgeon. My fears were then confirmed: I did indeed have Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Mr Flames and I were devastated, as well as chemotherapy, I would lose my breast.

As Inflammatory Breast Cancer involves the skin, treatment involves chemotherapy first to control the spread before surgery, so I endured 5 months of chemotherapy, including all the sickness and problems that went with it. By the end, all the redness had disappeared and even though I still had a lump, it had shown signs of shrinkage, so I was scheduled for surgery in early February 2014. After I'd healed sufficiently from the mastectomy, I had 30 rounds of radiation to my chest.

At this stage I have no evidence of cancer and am on a waiting list for reconstructive surgery. Due to the aggressive radiation, I am not a candidate for implants and have only been given a choice of a "Lat flap" from my back or a "Tram flap" from my tummy. Both types involve lengthy operations and up to 3 months recovery as well as follow up surgery to balance the boobs, create a nipple etc. Even though I expect to be called up soon, I am very likely to postpone any further surgery as treatment and recovery have already stolen over a year of my life and I'm not ready to be sick again so soon. So, who wants pics of a Uniboob? :tongue:

Firstly, welcome back hon - you've been missed, even by such infrequent visitors as myself!

Second, very well done you! The "C" word is not an easy one to hear, as I know from my own experience, and I can't imagine how much more intense it is when such destructive and personal (for want of a better word) surgery is involved too.

I had missed seeing you here, on my less frequent visits of late, but obviously never knew the reasons. So glad you're back, and well done you for beating this fucking horrible disease.

Oh, and if you really want to post up pics of yourself - feel free! You're still as sexy woman; a wee bit surgery will never change that! :D

DM

Ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow.

Clearly, there's an answer, in two parts: Part 1: http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/cancer.html

Part 2: http://iheartguts.com/products/mammary-plush

Uniboob
 

Put up any picture you would like, pinkFlames! I am sure there are lots of people (myself included) who would cheer you on! Huzzah for showing your beauty inside and out. And is Uniboob your new super hero name? Because it should be! With pink flames on the cape.

Look! Its a bird...it's a plane...NO! It's Uniboob!!!

(just being silly--seriously, a cyberhug for having the personal hutzpah to share your story with all of us. Well done.)

Glad to hear you are well now! Congratulations on kicking cancer's ass. Thanks for letting us know of your journey!

pinkFlames,

Congratulations, and welcome back! :thumbs:

Welcome back and congratulations on winning your battle....you are very fortunate.

I wonder if we should start our own wee Pixies Cancer Beaters Club?

Me, you and Dicksbro could be founder members, then charge admission for anyone else who happens along ……. gotta make an extra buck somewhere, right? :rolleyes: :rofl:
dM

pF, you know this is a group of folks that genuinely does care and does miss our members, especially when it's abrupt absence. I'm liking the outcome of your report but would have been equally pleased to share some of the honest support our Pixie hometown has for you. Just really glad to hear the up-side of your time away. :kisser:

Positive stuff is so good these days.

Glad to hear you're on the plus.

Thank you all for your kind comments.

A Superhero, Gigi? Well I'm sure I glow in the dark after all the poison and radiation they gave me. :D

I like your money making proposal, dm, gotta get something good out of all this.

So sorry to hear what you've been through, pF. I'm glad you've got it beat, though, and wish you all the best with future surgeries when the time comes for reconstruction.

pF, we're just so thankful that you're with us and that you're doing so well. You're a very special and wonderful lady and our hopes and prayers are with you now and when the time comes and you do go ahead with the additional surgeries and reconstruction. God bless!

PF, Thanks for sharing the story of your personal fight with us. Our best wishes are always with all Pixies and am glad to hear you've got the upper hand.

Cheers ...

Hugs!!

Blessings!

:lurv: Thank you everyone.

pF, so glad to hear you kicked "C" !! There are some strong peeps here on Pixies, cancer survivors and all around good fighters !!

TY for sharing your story with us. It may help someone who could be facing the same thing. You are still a sexy woman. One is not sexy cause of their boobs but because of their attitude. And you have got that all over ya !!

*hugs to you and the Mr.

<<LIKE>>

I knew there was a way :)

pF, how are you doing?

Back for an update.
 

Oops.

Back for an update.
 

I went ahead and had plastic surgery, using back muscle as a start followed by an implant and then nipple reconstruction and a lift on the other breast to even things up a bit. When I'm dressed I look pretty normal and sometimes I even go out braless. The real breast still sits very slightly lower and the fake one doesn't move much when I walk but I doubt many people notice.

Unfortunately Mr Flames couldn't handle the changes to my body and everything fell apart where he's concerned.

It will be 9 years this weekend since my mastectomy and I am doing well.

Good to hear from you, Pink Flames, and glad to hear your mastectomy was a success in thwarting a much more serious result. God bless! DB

Fantastic to see you pF! I'm so glad for you that you're still free from the big 'C', and that you went ahead with the reconstruction - you sound as though it was the right thing for you.

Shame about Mr Flames' reaction, though the reactive part of me says he should get a big fucking slap for being such a wimp! (I know that's maybe too judgemental given I don't know him at all, but that's my opinion).

Anyway .. .. .. I hope you can dive back in to our very diminished community here, we'd love to see more of you - in all senses of the the word!! :D

DM

Thank you both for the welcome back. :x:

Yay, so glad you've returned , pF. And that you've made the moves that have worked out for you. Hope you'll pop by more often.

Thank you gekkogecko. I think I'll be calling in regularly again. This place has always been in my heart.

pink FLAME, welcome home. :molest:

Truly pleased to see you peek in. And that you have and are dealing with the 'pop-shots' life takes at us. Sometimes it's more of a cannon roar when you are the one in the line of fire. But you bucked off one of the biggest with a HARD fight and come through. I'm very happy for you and proud to be a friend.

I'm not so thrilled with the relationship results :tear: but no one can understand when it comes apart in all directions, oftrn even those it is happening to. From waaay outside and far away it would seem more than a mastectomy causes that different kind of death.

When I was going through treatment, I joined a few breast cancer groups on Facebook. The type of cancer I had tends to favour younger women and unfortunately it was a common occurrence for men to cheat or leave their partners after breast cancer.

After my diagnosis, my partner lost interest in me. During chemo, I didn't mind as the side effects knocked me about but after treatment, I wanted to return to the sex life I once had. He would assist me but not show interest himself. He played on being old and no longer into sex but then he started chasing younger women. His excuse from his own mouth was he missed my breast.

I'm far from blameless when it comes to bad decisions about relationships and/or breakups, but even though we were apart for many years, I still fancied my ex-wife massively right up til the day she died.
This was following lengthy treatment for breast Ca, including a radical mastectomy, and because I'm a nurse (psych, NOT physical) and her private health insurance didn't cover much in the way of nursing care, I was sometimes the only person who was both willing and able to change the dressings for, her post-op.

For various reasons, this went on for quite a few months afterwards, but as it meant she had to disrobe her top half for me to attend to her, it meant her remaining boob was 'free to view', as it were, and got me just as aroused as I ever was before. Maybe just me, having been able to deal with seeing some really rather traumatic stuff in my time, but I always had deep feelings for her and she never lost her attractiveness to me in a sexual way - we just couldn't live together! If I'd been single, and she wanted to, I would quite happily have made love with her as often as she'd wanted.

I'm aware I've kind of :jacques: here - sorry pF!

Long and the short of it is, in my limited experience of these matters, it seems there is a small percentage of people who can deal with their partners' life-altering illnesses/conditions, and the much higher percentage of folk that can't. It's a shame, but that's life unfortunately.

DM

Maybe you should have whopped him with the other one; if he missed your breast, you can be sure the breast didn't miss him!

Yes it is a shame but on the other hand, I'm happier without him. I'm sure he would like to have stayed with me as long as he could pursue others but I could not be with someone who couldn't appreciate me as I was at the time. It was after my mastectomy but before reconstruction when he first strayed (that I know off). At that stage my remaining breast was completely untouched. Since then, it's been lifted to match the fake one but it still has full sensation. He rejected me over a tiny part that was missing from my body without consideration of what still remained.

I have had a few years to come to terms with changes in my life. The last 2 years have been hard due to the deaths of 4 people that were important to me, including my father. I look after my 6 year old grandson and my daughter has 2 other children that she needs help with. My mind is not on the past.

:jester: