cyber sex.. cheating or not?
 

ive been pondering this for a while

does it count as cheating if you are talking sexually to people online? or is it just like masterbation.. it doesnt matter who (or what) your thinking about?!!?

This is an excellent question. Some might think it is cheating and it might be if your doing it all hours of the day and lying to your SO about what you're doing. I have done it and felt a little guilty afterward. Some might consider online sex an enabler to a meeting in person. If you're typing with one hand and exchanging very intimate feelings with someone, especially over a long period of time, you could be inclined to agree to meet with them.

Oh manz... PCPete, u really got me pondering about this question... I think its a self masturbate thing... but if u keep meeting ur so-call-online-lover to 'masturbate' together and talk abt intimate things... I think it is counted as cheating and unfair to your real lover isn't it?

I am gonna try and answer this with as few words as possible.

YES! It is cheating....whether you actually touch or not.......you ARE having sex WITH another person other than your S/O. So therefore, you are "cheating".

I am not saying this is the worst form that cheating can take. As a matter of fact I am not judging or condemning at all. Cyber is probably the lesser form of all the ways a person can cheat. But according to...................

Webster's Collegiate- "Cheat".....to be sexually unfaithful.....to violate rules unfaithfully.

So, who am I to judge the knowledge of Mr. Webster himself?

Mrs. Lix

OK I admit it - I have enjoyed cyber in the past and never considered it cheating - more an alternate to masturbation. These have all been chance meetings and I have never sought to develop them into anything more.

I would agree that if you are in a stable real-life relationship and also indulge in cyber, you are cheating on your partner. Effectively you are saying that your real-life relationship is not sufficiently fulfilling and that you crave something else or more. Sure, as said above, it is the lesser of a number of evils but it is probably an indication that you need to discuss your sexual needs openly with your current partner to see if you can get what you need within a loving relationship.

What's cyber sex??

I am with Diva here...please explain what is meant by this term.... cyber sex??? I am unfamiliar with that ;)

Diva and Lilith....


are YOU asking ME???


Stop looking at me!



I have NO idea what you're talking about.

None whatsoever.


Nadda.

:p

RandyGal!!!!! I wasn't looking at you...I was looking at the guy on your monitor!!!!!! ;) :D :p :D

Okay, I'm gonna take a chance here.....I do not consider sexual chatting as cheating, and if my SO doesn't know about it, so what? What SO doesn't know, doesn't hurt SO....Right? Right. Besides, if SO were paying attention, he would know and therefore would have the opportunity to give me what I need/want....My chats are an extension of masterbation, and I don't want to get into a personal relationship as a result of them. All I want to do is have a good time, maybe exchange pictures, and have something to get wet about....no different in my mind than reading a magazine or book.

Prettyviolet

Who?? This guy??

Oh....that's just my...


Doctor.

Yeah, that's it. He's my doctor and yes, I keep his picture on my computer.

Yes. He does look like a movie star, doesn't he?

I LOVE my doctor!

*licking my lips!*

(the MM on his uniform stands for Magnificent Man and he is too, don't you think?)

YUMMY!!!!

Damn him!!!!! He said I was his one and only!!!!:D:D

Well he and I met online and I must say, our real life meeting was hot hot hot!!

Ssssssssssssssssssssssizzling!!

As you can see by the picture Lilith...he obviously has a thing for me so you can just back away quietly, ok?

I'll let you know when I'm done with him. ;)

what is your definition of cheating?? If your S/O knows and aproves of a sexual encounter, is that cheating?? So many questions and no answers.

If you're talking sex with someone else....I don't think cheating is your biggest problem. If you know what I mean.

RandyGal and Lil...how does it feel to have sloppy seconds ???? ;) :D

I had "The Good Doctor" last year!!!!! :p :p

LMAO!
But let me tell you...he is one hell of a OBGYN!!!!!!!!!!!:gld: :D

Yes, but Diva.....did he wear his sexy "uniform" when he was with YOU???

I mean really, it's part of his allure quite frankly, don't you think?

Those stripes.

Those boots.

That helmet!

*whew* is it getting warm in here or is it just me?

What a hottie.....and he KNOWS he's a hottie too. Just look at that body language. It SCREAMS "I AM MAN-MEAT!!!"

I know you're jealous. Don't be. There'll be someone out there just like him for you Diva and Lilith.


:p :p ;) :D :p

Not only did he wear it Ms. RandyGal, "Doc, let me take it off with my teeth as he stripped for me!!!!

I think you are just making up a whole bunch of silly excuses RG because you are upset that I got to him first!! :p :p :p

I am the Goddess ya know!!! ;) :D ROTFLMFAO!!!!

Well..................

I suppose there IS enough of him to go around.

I feel sooooooooooooo used though! You'd THINK he would have mentioned his other conquests.

p.s. you can't see it in the photo but he's also wearing a wonderful tablecloth...er......cape around his neck. what a DUDE!!! LOL LOL LOL

Ohhh I don't want him anymore RandyGal...you can keep him!!!;)

He couldn't keep up to me sexually! :D :D

OK
 

Damn it!!!!! I am guilty for God's sake stop rubbing it in!!!!!!!! :o :o :o :o :p :p :p

scarecrow........Scenario: You are sitting at your puter and cybering with another. Your S/O comes into the room.....You.....

1~ Shut down the screen and say....."Hello honey, what's up"?, while hiding your obvious sexual arousal.

2~ Tell the person your are cybering with that your S/O has just entered the room and we can now have a threesome. Your S/O says "It's ok honey, I was just going to the store and I wanted to let you know. I'll be back soon, have fun"!

3~ Your S/O enters the room and hits you over the head with a cast iron frying pan, knocking you out cold!

LOL!!!!!...Does this clarify anything?

Mrs. Lix

Prettyviolet, I agree with you. It feels good to have someone be able to get me hard or for me to make them wet or more.

Mrs. Lix
 

It would be close to senario #2, she's not into puter chat. If S/O knows and does not mind I don't see how it can be cheating.:)

I've been trying to ignore this thread but I just can't anymore.

This is my PERSONAL OPINION on the subject:

1. If you cyber and you also have a S/O apparently you aren't
getting what you need/want either sexually or emotionally or
both from your S/O.

2. If you aren't getting what you need from your S/O, and have
discussed these needs with said S/O, and your S/O either won't
or can't meet these needs I believe you are justified in getting
these needs met another way.

3. Cyber-sex is certainly safer than "real" sex with a partner who
may have and can infect you with an STD, it also cannot cause
pregnancy.


4. Masturbating by yourself or with the above mentioned
accompaniments (sp?) is not cheating. You haven't had physical
sexual contact with another person.

5. Cyber-sex is not much different than masturbating while
watching a porn movie or looking at sexual pictures or while
reading erotic stories.

6 If masturbating is not cheating and cyber-sex is not much
different, then cyber-sex is not cheating either.

7. If YOU think it's cheating.......
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

I have to say this.....
 

scarecrow.........Now you have an answer....It's that simple hun!

Sugarsprinkles......I am of the opinion that if you cyber and you have a S/O.......it doesn't NECESSARILY mean you aren't getting what you need/want sexually or emotionally.......maybe you are just into "VARIETY".....and can take this variety to your personal relationship at another time. I don't want anyone to think that I think cybering is wrong! I think it can add to your relationship if you include your S/O and tell him/her what you have learned or want to try as a result.

Also......(trying not to be a stickler here).......Masterbating, looking at a magazine and pondering, watching a porn film, etc., are all NON-cheating activities as they DO NOT include another person in a conversation of desires and wants and "what I could do to you if I were with you at this moment"!

When you are in a "cybering conversation" you and another "REAL" person are trading thoughts as to what you are doing to one another at that very moment. If your S/O knows and approves of it....it CANNOT be construed as cheating........But if your S/O has no knowledge of "it" and you perpetually hide the fact as they enter the room or you sneak away to be alone to do "it", and you never initiate "it" into your relationship.....then I have to say you are indeed cheating! Even though you haven't had "Physical Sexual Contact", you have had "Sexual Contact" with another person, live and in real time, and so therefore you are decieving your S/O if they have no knowledge of this activity! Decieving sexual behavior is in definition....cheating!

I am not trying to start an argument here.......I just want the masses to understand that there is an answer to this...... But you have to look inside yourself for that answer. And as Sugarsprinkles said in #7....If you think it's cheating.....don't do it!!!!!

I want to add..........If you have to ask.......then you probably already know the answer!

Mrs. Lix

I have to agree with lix.......if you need to ask then you know the answer.....it all comes down to what you feel is right or wrong......for me....i am a very open person and if my mate wants to cyber or look at pics or have phone sex.....then i have no problem with it....as long as he is honest with me about it...however what's good for the goose is good for the gander....that's what i think most ppl forget......so i say before you do have cyber it might be a good idea to stop and ask yourself how you would feel if it was your partner doing it!!!! then make your choice

But hey its just my Opinion

Yea............What 1wildpussycat said.........Damn hun....I should have summed it up so good.....but NOOOOOOO.....I just had to go on and on and on!!!!.....LOL!!!!

Mrs. Lix

Hmmm, they learnt me in skool that if I cum on the skreen, she wood get pregnated :( They lie? =..(

LOL jk ;) You cant get pregnant by cummin on the screen, only if she is spread real wide cause cum dont travel too good on the information supa-highway /nod :D

Ok, back to the question at hand lol

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I dont think its cheating if you aren't getting what you need from your SO. Some SO's are just tight asses(no pun intended lol) So, you gotta get it somewhere, right??? The cyber thing for me is more or less like masturbation of the mind, which somehow turns out to revolve around my hand...somehow /shrug lol

Personally, a previous SO didnt attract me as much as before, so I used porn and chatting to get me going. Then, go do my "chore". I knew she wanted sex but I didnt want to do it so I had to get it up somehow eh? lol Maybe thats wrong, but o well, it kept her happy in bed which keep me in the clear for a few days :D It was her looks that turned me off like a lightbulb, it was the attitude. So...I went with an attitude that I liked to get my mind where it needed to be to get my body where it was needed. To me, I dont consider that wrong.

1wild, good comment at least to know if you want to ask of not. But when it's asked, it doesnt always turn out good. I wanted to bring an extra in the bedroom or at least do toys...something! I wanted her to open up and play alittle, but she didnt like that idea. Bringing in the extra was really just to piss her off, since I KNEW she wouldnt go for it, even though I would consider it. I also found out that the "if you let me bring a girl, ill bring a guy for you too to be fair" bit DONT work ROFL! I was trying my hardest but failed :D I was just tired of the "little house on the prairre sex". Ya know...only the old-fashioned way *sigh*

I beg to differ...Masturbating to pornography and masturbating during cyber are one and the same. Both involve self-gratification aided by extrnal non-physical stimuli. The difference between telling a cyber partner what you imagine doing, and imagining what you would do to the subject(s) of the pornography is moot. Both can be construed as cheating....if one's belief system includes the 6th and 10th commandments, or similar morals.
(for those who can't remember: VI: Thou shalll not commit Adultery, X: Thou shal not covet thy neighbor's house; You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his manservant or his maidservant...or anything that is thy neighbor's.) I'm not trying to preach here, just trying to make the point that, as far as cheating goes, IF you define cheating as "Anything that involves sex without your SO", then both cyber and pornography are cheating.

In short, Miss Lix, you can't have it both ways....if one is cheating, then so is the other. If one is harmless recreaton, then so is the other.

This is EXACTLY how I feel, too. I was recently dating a guy who obviously wasn't doing it for me because I'd log in here after seeing him. Now, I've been dating a guy for over a month (yes, that's why I'd disappeared for a while ;) who is UNBELIEVABLE in bed. He's made me multi-orgasmic . . . there's no need to cum in here. But I came back for a visit because I miss all you fabulous pixie posters! :)

Steph

It's wonderful to see you again Steph. So glad you came back for a hello and I am happy to hear of your new and exciting relationship.

Try not to be such a stranger

Mrs. Lix

Murphy.......I think we can agree to disagree then. I just happen to think that it can't be cheating if there is no actual communication with another person. Masterbating to a movie or a picture does not involve communication between you and the subject. You, alone, are the only person involved and aware of a sexual feeling caused by the image. You can't be accused of cheating if the subject isn't even aware that you exist.

I think this is how the argument "If a tree falls in a forrest and no one is around, is there a sound as it falls", got started! LOL! Or the "chicken and the egg" question!

As I said before I am not trying to be argumentitive here and I don't think I am trying to have my cake and eat it too, so to speak, I am just being logical. I never defined cheating as "Anything that involves sex without your S/O". What I actually said is......

Masterbating, looking at a magazine and pondering, watching a porn film, etc., are all NON-cheating activities as they DO NOT include another person in a conversation of desires and wants and "what I could do to you if I were with you at this moment"!

Murphy, if you want to define cheating as "Anything that involves sex without your S/O, than this is where we can at least agree to disagree! You say potato, I say potahto.......LOL!

As for the commandments........To each his own in the religion department. I happen to be an atheist. So the parables may be lost on me. But I know the masses have to believe as they believe and may find consolation and direction in the point you made there.

So, maybe we are back to the original question.......and I still say....the answer is within yourself.....if you have to ask....you probably already know the answer!

Mrs. Lix

well i think Murphy has a very good point......i believe if you are with a partner....and yet when playing with your self to the thought of another person it is cheating...but i still say if both people know.....and both people agree it is fine...then all the power to them

bring on the atheists! I think I might start a religion about not having a religion......hmmmm :p

Legend

What about the second coming?

I consider sharing anything that is sexually intimate with a person other than your signifigant other cheating. And seeing as how cyber sex does involve the sharing of intimacy, then yes, it is most definatley cheating in my opinion.