What's With You Men, Anyway????
 

I know every man is NOT like this, but it seems from conversations I've had that there are enough for it to be considered common behavior.............................

What makes men behave like this:

Tonight my husband and I were supposed to be heading North, back to Michigan to pick up some of our belongings and bring them back down to Missouri in just a few days. He never said what time we'd be leaving, although I asked more than once.
Then when it was getting to be around the time we had discussed leaving, although it was never definite, he just went off to bed. I was certainly surprised! I asked him "Should I just stay up, so I'll be ready if you get up later and want to leave?" He didn't answer at first so I waited a while and asked a second time. Then he said "I don't care. You can stay up if you want to. You can go to bed, too. I don't care what you decide to do."
I then told him that I'd just like to know so that I can be ready. And that I'd just like to know what's going on......IF anything is going on. He never answered. Just went to sleep.

Many other times I'll ask if he wants to go to a certain place, or do a certain thing, or eat at a particular restaurant.....all I get is a shrug of the shoulders. Which says to me "I don't give a shit!" Or he'll just say "I don't know" or "I don't care."

Why is it so hard to make a decision?

And why, when you've made that all-important decision that affects more than just yourself, why is it so DAMNED difficult for you to inform your S/O of that decision??? How do you expect us to be able to read your mind??? And why should we have to??

Can anyone explain this??

ummmmmmmm nope no idea,

Can't explain for someone else!

I think that guys generally leave it up to us women cuz they love us to control them! ;) Especially in the bed!:fly:

Sometimes the so called "easiest decisions" are the hardest ones to make for myself! If that made any sense at all!!!!:rolleyes:

hmmmm his replys certainly seem more unresponsive than most males ive ever known! maybe hes just mega extreme easy going???????

Sounds like he is someone I would'nt understand, I am an overplanner, I am usually the type that likes to have the events of the weekend planned out by Thursday at the latest. So I usually dont get somebody that doesnt make definate plans and share them with their SO...but that is just me.

Hi SS

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. It's the differences that make us all so interesting. However there is no excuse for intentional ignorance.

as far as the trip goes only he can identify why. as far as stuff like the restaurant i do that if i'm not hungry and especially if i'm thinking of something else.

I thought that we were supposed to be the mind readers.

Hasn't he learnt to say "yes dear".

If a man admits that he is wrong when he knows that he is wrong, he is wise.

If a man admits that he is wrong when he knows that he is right, he is married.

The everyday decisions I leave up to my wife simply because when I do make a decision she very often will not agree. This is very general of course and it is not that I don't care but I don't care enough (where we eat, shop, etc etc) to get into a magor discussion. Overall we communicate just fine. the fact that your husband went to bed without telling you his plans is not very nice. However, I've got to admit that sometimes I forget to tell my wife of an appointment I made or something I heard. I remember everything I need to do at work and am very organized but when I get home, forget about it, I forget the garbage, etc etc. My self analysis is that work is important, could get fired for not doing it, home stuff is not as critical therefore there is no urgency. Either that or I'm just a dumbass male!

SS

A mate of mine gets like that when he (he tells me) feels alienated

and powerless.

If you shut it out you don't have to deal with it.

I may be on the totally wrong tack...........

Talking about a loaded question SS.... ROFL... your first question alone can cause a thousand years worth of debate... ROFL...

More often than not, this is my reason for responding like that.

I think the person who cares the most makes the decision.
If my girlfriend wants to go to a particular place to eat, we'll go there unless I'm totally against it (which is rarely the case - I AM "mega extreme easy-going")

WOW SS! I gotta say this as I see it!

I hate that I think this.....and I don't know your hubby at all......but I do know you somewhat and I think.......he might be thinking.....well......do you think he might be thinking you've strayed? I mean......has he always been like this? If he has..........I say more power to you G/F.......for putting up with his self centered attitude and his lack of caring for your feelings. And if he hasn't always been this way till recently......I say.....he could have his suspicions.

I really hope you take this as it is meant.......constructive. I love ya hun and I hate to know that you are hurting. The way you explained this scenario........I think your hubby needs an attitude adjustment!

Please know......I only wish you the best of everything.....and I would never intentionally hurt you! I have to call this one from the info supplied.......and I hope I helped in some small way!

*hugs*

Well, I do have an explanation for my husband's behavior the night we were supposed to head back to Michigan........

The next day he came to me and said "You really like it here in Missouri, don't you?" I told him that he was absolutely right, I definitely love it out here. Then he stunned me by telling me, with tears in his eyes, that he didn't feel the same. He said he felt out of place here, like he didn't belong here. I was shocked! I asked why he waited until we'd already made a deposit on a place to live to decide he didn't like it here. He said he was trying to give it a fair chance before he made up his mind. I really didn't know what to say or do....we were both in tears. I suggested to him that we treat the year that we signed the lease for as an "extended vacation" and that we evaluate our situation at the end of the year and decide at that point what we want to do.
He agreed to that. Then we went back to Detroit to get as much of our stuff as we could fit into our van. Once we got there, and it snowed a couple of inches and got extremely cold, he told me, "You know, the more I'm here, the better I like it there."
I said I wished he'd make up his mind. But then he told me that he knew he would know for sure how he felt once we had gotten back home. So, it seems that he's sure now that he DOES like it here after all and wants to remain here permanently. THANK GOODNESS!! But his silence and non-responsiveness was because he was troubled and didn't know how to tell me, and I think OF was right....shut it out and then you don't have to deal with it.

So, Lixy Dear...no, he has no suspicions that I've strayed. I think I'm still safe on that count. And he has been like this for years. But like I said, I think OF hit the nail on the head. We have a son who reacts this way too. Anything that's too hard for him to deal with, "ignore it, and it might go away." I have to cut him some slack on what you call his "self-centered" attitude. He learned many years ago to turn off his feelings, stuff them as far down inside as possible. He learned this "art" courtesy of the U.S. Marine Corps. I can understand why they have to learn to do this, but it saddens me to know that they are never taught how to reverse this when they leave military service.

Oh SS! I'm so glad to be wrong on this count!

Ut oh, don't tell my hubby I said that out loud! I have him believing I am right, even when I am wrong.....which is hardly ever.....just ask hubby! LMAO!

I can totally understand his behavior now as I was taken from my home state to another (twice) and I was EXTREMELY reluctant! I had no job prospects and I knew no one in either place. But as I look back now I can see that the saying "Change is Good" is oh so very true, and in time I just know you both will see that as your new lives unfold....this move is a good thing. I wish you and he the best of luck and love!

*hugs*