Pixies Place Forums - >DEEP THOUGHTS< NOT by Jack Handy

1. Can you cry underwater?

2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping", now I just chunkydunk!

3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

5. Why do we have to "put in our two cents"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8. How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be good to put wheels on luggage?

9. Why do people say they slept like a baby, when babies wake up every two hours or more?

10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

11. Why are you IN a movie, but ON TV?

12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

14. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who does she/he call?

15. I signed up for an excercise class and was told to wear loose clothing. Uh......DUH! If I had loose clothing I wouldn't need to sign up, now would I?

16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

18. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

19. Why is it that our children can't read a bible in school but they can in prison?

20. If raising a child was going to be easy, it would have never started with something called "labor"!

21. Brains cells come and brain cells go...but fat cells live forever!