Mr. Jones
 

little picker-upper, no pun intended. haha Elderly, Mr. Jones, lived in
a
> >nursing home. One day, he walked up to the nurse and said, "My penis
died
> >today." The nurse, knowing Mr. Jones's health problems, decided to go
> >along with his statement and replied, "Oh, I am so sorry to hear that,
Mr.
> >Jones." The next day, the nurse saw Mr. Jones walking down the hall with
> >his penis hanging out of his pants. She said, "Mr. Jones, I thought that
> >your penis died yesterday?" Mr. Jones said, "It did. Today is the
> >showing."
> >

A 70 year old man decided to join a nudist colony, in an attempt to bring some form of excitment back to his life.

Walking along the pool gardens, he spies a beautiful young 25 year old walking towards him, and he instantle has an erection.
The young lass walks over and says " you called?"
"Pardon?" asks the gemtleman
Come on you know the rules, I walked towards you, you got a boner, so now we fuck.
Not believing his luck the old man complies.

Happy and contented, he walks back to the changing rooms, and as he is going he lets a loud fart go. A big burly man wlalks over and says " You called?"

"HUH?" asks the old man,
Come on you now the rules, you farted, I responed, now we fuck.

In an absolute rage the older man returns to the managers office demanding his money back,
"What is the problem?" asked the manager
"I'm a 70 year old man, I get an erection once a month and fart 20 times a day!"