Man Rules
 

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR'
rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
-----------------------------------
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't
hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the
tides. Let it be .Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See
a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 minutes.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask
us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how
you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
ice hockey or
monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,
it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a
laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an
education!!


Irish

Here here!

It can't be stated any better or more simple than that.
Thanks, gotta e-mail that to a few friends

Stands at attention and salutes Irish. :)

Just so everyone will know,I correspond privately with
Dicksbro,and asked him,how to submit things like this.All along
there have been things that I wanted to enter,but only knew how to forward an e-mail.I printed out his instructions and-Voila-
it worked.Computers aren't that baffling,if someone tells you how!
Irish

Christopher Columbus did not need directions
 

I had to laugh at that one......

One of my fondest memories of my dad (who passed away in 1998) was of when I was about 12 years old.

My dad, mom, sister and I were visiting my brother in Minnesota (White Bear Lake area). We left his home, and stopped at a major intersection leading to the interstate to fuel up. Once complete, my dad, instead of turning left out of the drive to the interstate, turned right...........I immediately said, "MOM", and she turned around to me with her finger up to her mouth... so my sister and I went very quiet....

Needless to say, we saw very nice scenery on our way to Wisconsin!!!! (We lived in Iowa) Throughout the whole drive, none of us females said a word.........

I can still see my dad's face when he saw the "Welcome to Wisconsin" sign..........

Re: Christopher Columbus did not need directions
 

Ummmm I love your mother:D:D:p

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........but i know places where info like this could get me killed lmao

Bravo Irish ............ Right on the Money!!!!!

HHAHAHAHAHAHHA....This is funny.Love the fact they are all numbered (1) Oh by the way,Pumpkins are goards and Christopher Colombus probably should have asked for directions.After all he was trying to find India wasn't he? Ever notice the "BENCH" in the Malls where the hubbies go while their wives go shopping? Interesting place.A good place to post these rules.hahahahahahaha

Re: Christopher Columbus did not need directions
 

You can’t buy those kind of memories.;)

Irish ...

Glad the tips worked. You have a great day, friend!

DB

Cheyanne---There is a reason for everything!If your father,
had asked for directions,you wouldn't have enjoyed,the scenery
on the way to Wisconsin.Perhaps,there was a method to his
madness. Irish
P.S.Male Rule #1---Never admit that you're wrong!

Oh, these are too good! Thanks Irish, you brightened my morning.