Pixies Place Forums - Kinds of sex!

> > SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
> > Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh,
> > nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
> > "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little
> > each month, but not enough to live on!"
> >
> > LOUD SEX:
> > A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got
> > a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my
> > husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting
> > yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely
> > natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The
> > problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
> >
> > QUIET SEX:
> > Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out
> > and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
> > "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
> > She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never
> > home!"
> >
> > CONFOUNDED SEX:
> > A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood"
> > was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured
> > him that modern medicine could give him back his
> > manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the
> > surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor
> > said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for
> > "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he
> > would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him
> > to talk it over with his wife before he made any
> > decision. The man called his wife on the phone and
> > explained their options. The doctor came back into the
> > room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what
> > have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The
> > man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
> >
> > WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX: A husband and his wife had a
> > bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
> > anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm
> > getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife
> > - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die,
> > I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My
> > Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
> >
> > WOMEN'S HUMOR: My husband came home with a tube of K Y
> > jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He
> > was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted
> > it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
> >
> > A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to
> > make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman
> > says..... "I'll miss you."