Kicked While I'm Down
 

Exactly two weeks ago yesterday (Tuesday) I took my mom (age 64) to the doctor for a routine visit and she was sent for a routine chest x-ray. On Wednesday she was called and informed that something showed up and she needed to return for a CT scan…(she told me a different version not wanting me to worry). On Thursday I took her back and she had her CT. At approximately 5 p.m. on Thursday she called to tell me that her doctor had called and wanted her to admit herself to the hospital that night. He explained that there was a small spot in her left lung and it was ON the main pulmonary artery. The doctor was concerned that the artery would start bleeding. Anyway, she had a bronchoscopy on Saturday morning and was released from the hospital on Sunday morning. Last Tuesday the doctor called to confirm our worst fears, the spot was cancer. He seemed more concerned with the location than the actual cancer. Yesterday she had short stay surgery to have a catheter implanted in her chest and today she had her first Chemo treatment. I’m scared to death! I may bitch and moan about my mom on occasion, her being the ultimate control freak and all lol, but we have been through hell together and I’m not ready for this. I hope that this Chemo will work, if not then other options will have to be discussed. Yes, I know I’m rambling.

Day before yesterday (Monday) my 14 year old son informs me that he thinks it’s time he went to live with his dad, he wanted to spend some time there. Now, I have a perfectly good relationship with my ex and his wife. My oldest son made the same decision at about the same age, but I never expected this. I know in my head that this is something he needs, this father figure, but my heart is totally and completely broken. My ex has never been what you might call “dad” material. I realized that shortly after my oldest son was born. He always put himself first and still does, his children were never first. He never played ball with them, he never changed a diaper, never took them to a doctor appointment, never took care of them on the weekends I had to work and he didn’t (I had to find a sitter), never coached their T-ball teams, I did. He is a much, much stricter person than I am and I know my son needs this, especially at his age and with the work he ISN’T doing in school! . I feel like I have given my children up! I have so many things running through my head I don’t know what to say. My heart is in pieces, but my son comes first and I have to go on.

I just want you all to be praying, sending up positive thoughts, dancing naked under the next full moon (lol), whatever it is that works for you. I would really appreciate it.

(((((((((((( T )))))))))))))

I know it's scary and we'll all be right here with you.

TinTennessee,

Yes'm. Shall do. Hang in there!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please know that.

As for your son's choice to spend some time living with Dad, well, I'm sure it's a very tough thing to cope with considering the discrepancies you've witnessed in his ability to father. The fact that you're fretting over this shows that you are keeping the best interest of your son first and foremost in your thoughts. I'm sure you will continue to do so, regardless of where he is physically located. (((((((TT)))))))

((((((TT))))))))

Consider it done. Prayers for you, your children, your Mom, and even your ex are on the way! :console:

((((((((hugs T)))))))), big ones.

Sending vibes of peace and love to your lovies. It's not easy being the mom, of your mom and kids. My heart goes out to you.

Thinking of you.

((((( TT )))))

Hugs and prayers for you and your family!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((TinTennessee))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))

((((((((T)))))))))

Maybe it's time that your son needs a father figure for a while -- and perhaps his absence gives you a bit more time to focus on you and your mom. I know that sounds like a very small silver lining in the cloud, but it's real silver. :x: :spin:

I can't imagine what you're going through with your mom!! Tell her that there are people all over the world wishing her (and you) luck and better health!

I'm sorry it's all so scary for you right now.

If it helps at all, my thoughts are with you. So keep doing what it sounds like you have been doing already... be brave, be strong and be there for those who need you.

And if you need a chat anytime, just say hi.

Take care TT
x

I really appreciate you all, I hope you know that. This place has become so very special to me. I know all things happen for a reason and we will have to see what that reason ends up being. The reason for my son leaving at this particular time, might very well be that I will need the extra time for my mom in the future. Ousche....I have thought the same thing and now I can run around the house naked and the dog doesn't give a shit...

Won't matter if the dog steals your panties then. :)

(((T))) you and yours are in my thoughts.