What I have learned from watching porn
 

What I've learned from watching porn...

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange
man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he
have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in
the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding
ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a
wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is
to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a
woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. (They do?)

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each
other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having
sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades
of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really
excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from
her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before
fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's
important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying
result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they
open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always
place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip!!!!


ROTFLMFAO@The Last One!!!!! :D :D :D :p :fly:

well Diva can we make a porn together and then re view the tape and see how many of these things take place in real life action? :)

Never seen that much truth about life LOLLLL :D:D:D

"There's a plot"

There is???

The plot is:

"I've got to pretend to fuck my brains out M45!!!" ;) :p :D

OMG, what a flash of inspiration!!! Pje, dahhhhling, you're a genius!

What would happen if the Pixies' people got together to make a porn movie? Who would be in it, where would it be set, and what would the "plot" be?

SFC Erotic Emissions, Ltd., is now accepting submissions for adult movie ideas based on the Pixies' theme. Successful submissions will be rewarded by a kiss (or perhaps more, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) from the fantabulous SFC herself ( :rolleyes: ) and a Pixies' Group-Grope™ from everyone.

--- sweetstuff

Ahem... Aqua officially submitting his request for an Anal scene..:)
Maybe a scene with some other members waiting in line for Star Wars Ep 2... conversation gets hot... strange funky music is heard but no one seems to know where it's coming from... sounds like Ash would be there, and Aeros... maybe Legend and Mindboxer, Jay for sure, so maybe Lilith will be in the scene, and NaughtyAngel too, she's a Star Wars freak! Ok, so it'll be an orgy scene... ;)

Is Legend dressed like the Princess?LMAO

God Diva! You are my mentor!

Sweet Chastity

How about...Camera men can't see thier own shadow!

How about Rape is foreplay?

Diva,
Since you are such an expert, maybe you can explain how the guy can last 20 minutes and both the man and the woman can make the exact same motions, groans etc. every five? Is it practice?;)

No, a very special gift known only to a few.

Digital editing and splicing.

Damn, now I'm going to have to kill you!

What I have learned from watching porn videos.
How to use the fast-forward button because every scene is the
same for;what seems like;10mins.BORING!!! Irish