I wish you didn’t too.





LOL
You are the second of what I consider a close Pixie friend that has expressed a feeling of unfair exclusion. While I can’t say that there must be a small feeling of satisfaction in being able to go to a place without the non-smokers scourge of superiority, that truly is not my intent or desire for starting this thread. It is hard enough to accept, let alone admit to an impassioned public, something you would like to be different and is something they just CAN NOT know without going there.

I happen have a current friend for the past 11 years that I hold among the hand full of ‘close friends’ throughout my life. Five weeks ago I was in his wedding and the only white face among 300 people. We have been partners in our little DJ business for seven years and have shared many things together from work (neither of our primary jobs), cookouts, Thanksgiving dinners and the birth of his daughter. I’ve been accepted buy his friends and closer to the real "black culture” than perhaps the majority of Caucasians. The one thing I do feel certain of is that I will never know what it is to live a life as a black person.

The deepest experience I’ve had along this line was when I was about 17 and came home late and tried to sneak in the back door. I must have been doing fine until I heard my mother sobbing in the dark living room. I guess being the eldest of seven, I was the first one she felt the need to see was safely in before she could sleep. When you see your mothers teared face for the first time it leaves an impression. The panic feeling turned to confusion when she said “I’m fat!” through a chocked back sob that was more of a moan and shutter than a sound. It seems our bathroom scale only went to 250 pounds and wouldn’t answer the question for the 4’ 11” lady that cooked three meals a day for a family of 10 and two boarders.

I’m 5’ 9” tall and weigh in at 162 pounds now and knew that night there would be things and places I could not go, no matter the deepest want or desire to help and understand something outside myself.

I have stated here over the years that my personal opinion regarding the subject of abortion is something that I, nor any other male of the specie, has ANY RIGHT to EVER make a judgement about it. It is purely in that same view that I offered a corner for one place I HAVE gone and CAN understand the frustration of an addiction that brings the wrath of social swing.

I have to go now and pack up 50 years of butts that I've been saving. I have a box coming with the address of where I should send them :jump:

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