Hi everyone! I am the husband I’ve been a lurker on this forum for the longest time, but finally decided to come out after encouraging my wife to post. You guys are such a friendly, knowledgeable and friendly bunch, and we really appreciate you helping us out. Please allow me to elaborate a bit on this issue we’re having. When I was in my early and mid teens I was very curious about sex, and read a lot of books on the subject, some trashy, and some quite scholarly. Eventually I developed a pretty negative impression of intercourse: there was a high pregnancy risk, high risk of STD transmission, it could be painful for the girl, etc. I also read somewhere that the vagina has very few nerve endings, and intercourse is often not pleasurable for a woman unless the clitoris is stimulated in some way. Also, all other guys ever talked about was fucking, but I wanted to be different and really learn how to please a woman. After reading about cunninglingus I decided that that giving oral pleasure to women is far better than intercourse. It directly stimulates the clitoris, it is never painful, carries no risk of pregnancy, allows for a lot more control and variety than the “old in-and-out” and women supposedly love it. There is no hassle of putting on a condom. Also, compared to oral sex, intercourse seemed rather boring. I decided then that giving oral sex was going to be my “thing” and I would get really good at it.

Unfortunately, my wife is pretty indifferent to oral sex, especially the receiving part. It just doesn’t turn her on or get her off. On the other hand, intercourse doesn’t do much for me. I tried it many times, mainly to please my wife, but I’m not really into it and usually don’t really enjoy it. Sometimes I find it difficult to stay hard. We talked about this a lot and discussed many compromises, but the issue remains: she is very intercourse-centered and I’m very oral sex-centered. Any advice on either helping me enjoy intercourse, or helping my wife enjoy oral sex?