Thanks guys, many of you are spot-on. Yes, I do find it hard to relax and enjoy oral sex because of all the things that were mentioned. Plus, I guess I always thought that oral sex was step 2 of a sexual relationship: first, traditional intercourse, then oral sex once you're familiar with each other's bodies. But we've never had that much intercourse because we've always concentrated on oral. So for me, we're sort of skipping a step.

You all had great suggestions and I think we will take your advice and work some props and things in, so we both can enjoy each other's "field of interest".