Alright, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now so I’ll just throw out any questions that come to me. Oh yeah, you might wanna get comfortable because I got a feeling this is gonna take a while.

1. How long does it take to get over someone?
2. How do you know when you are over someone?
3. How do you get over someone?

Ok, here’s the situation. Around the beginning of February of last year me and my (ex)wife split up. When she left a bunch of different things started happening. In the beginning, I would dream about her almost every night. But even now, I wake up reaching for her/wondering where she is so that I could give her a good morning kiss. I’ve always been a chronic insomniac so sleep for me has never been very reliable. But I swear to god, I just can’t sleep unless I’ve got a nice warm body to snuggle up to.

Here are my feelings about Laura. She’s uptight, demanding, and close-minded and I have no interest whatsoever in having anything more than MAYBE a purely physical relationship. I’m not really too sure what her opinion of me at this point. However, considering the fact that she left my ass in the first place and the fact that the last time we talked I called her a toothless bitch. She’s always had bad teeth and been very self-conscious. Basically it was a low blow and I admit it but I was mad and felt she deserved it.

Ever since she’s left I’ve been trying to figure out when I attraction to her the actual person ended. Or, if it ever existed in the first place. Our first date consisted of hanging out at the mall for a little bit with some friends. Pretty much as soon as we left the mall we started making out in the back seat. By the end of the night we were having sex on the living room couch at her place. Like 3 weeks later I moved into her place basically just so we could have sex all day. Which we did. I’ll admit, at this point between my dick speaking on my behalf and me not wanting to upset her, I led her to think that I was a lot more serious about the relationship than what I actually was.

Somewhere along the line the sex ended, she started taking advantage of my kindness, and I felt that we were more like roommates than a couple. I’m a giver, it pleases me to please others. I don’t expect any kind of reward or anything. What would be best is someone who gave as much as I give but that would be asking a lot so I don’t expect that. I would even be satisfied with someone who simply showed their appreciation for my efforts. But soon after the “honeymoon” ended with us she started expecting the things I had been doing and even got upset when I didn’t do them. I don’t think she ever really showed appreciation for my actions. She’d had a lot of bad relationships in the past and I had always said that the way I treated her is just the way every other guy should have treated her. In the beginning, a lot of the special things I did for her was either before, during, or after sex. When I’ve just had amazing sex with someone for like the 5th time that day, I’m in a very giving mood. I figured that maybe if I do these things long enough some of my good traits would rub off on her or something. The point is that nearly 4 years later I finally realized that she’s never going to change and that I’ve given enough. After over 3 years of me damn near being her 24-hour maid/doormat, I just quit doing everything. She’d start one of her usual bitching sprees and I’d do the whole ‘nod and grunt’ thing. She’d want something from me, I’d come up with an excuse. Basically, unless she wanted to talk about the very obvious problems with our relationship or show a little gratitude I was interested. Period, end of conversation. She left soon there after. I knew that at that point, I couldn’t confront her about our problems because of fear of hurting her. I also knew that I couldn’t leave her for the same reason. I figured she’d either break down and talk to me or leave me, both were an acceptable outcome.

Right now, what I’m struggling with is why in the hell is she still on my mind so much. The bottom line is that the actual personality of Laura is a total turn off to me. But the role that she played in my life, I still find very attractive and totally desirable. I know that I want companionship, I’m not that slow. But I’ve had a lot of different experiences with a lot of different people since her, not to mention the fact I look at porno all day. Why do I still look at my pillow half asleep and see her face. Why do I have dreams about doing nothing more than holding her close to me, why can I still feel her skin, why do I still automatically lift my legs to the position they’d be in if I was spooning her and enjoying the feeling of her warm ass against my thighs.

That’s what’s bugging me most is why after all this time, it still hits me in the morning “she’s gone... what now?” I’m just totally confused, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure all this out and I need help. So please, help me figured out what the hell is going on in my messed up mind.

Thanks everyone, have a nice day