Well, i think i can help you on all counts....

Everytime you say sorry, decide if you really are... and if you aren't then say "not" afterwards before blowing a rasberry at them.

Perhaps more usefully, youcan buy things called "full spectrum" bulbs. These provide the same frequency of light that youget innatural daylight and apparently can relieve the symtoms of Seasonal Adjustment Disorder.

Getting laid.. ahh... just PM me for my sugestion!!