Missed all this yesterday, but Lilith has some sound advice here (for US anyway, we do realize that Oz is a whole 'nother world).
Here's a (((hug))) & several rounds of booze & sympathy for ya...I've been fighting the same battle for twenty years...#1 son may have been the youngest to ever get prescribed ADHD meds at 4...they got him kicked out of his first daycare the week he started taking them...& in the ensuing years, we've fought many battles with the schools & doctors, trying to figure the little shit out...a few years back an old friend, who is a LSW, suggested Asperger's, which his shrink later confirmed was in the back of her mind as well (she didn't write it down cuz the insurance will pay for meds for ADHD, but there's no covered meds for AS)...after he just barely graduated with a Special Ed diploma, we've had him in 2 different special work rehab programs trying to train him for life in the real world, so far to no avail...he is now 23, living at home, sucking up the groceries, unemployed, still trying to figure out why the whole world is against him...he knows what his problems are, but knowing & understanding are 2 diff things...last year we had him tested by a psych. specialist who diagnosed serious bipolar, now we're looking at ways to get him on disability... it's been a struggle for us all, & I can relate to you being at wit's end...
I also can relate to the frustration with educators who think they're qualified to diagnose mental health issues (unless they've actually been trained for it, like Lil)...earlly on, one of #2 son's teachers had a meeting with the wife & insisted HE was ADD...Mrs Zoid was so taken aback she couldn't formulate her own argument, until the Principal stopped & asked her if her oldest son wasn't ADD...Principal turned to the teacher & said, "I think this lady would know if that was his problem"...not another word has been said about #2 since...he's just strong-willed & stubborn (& maybe smarter than the rest of us put together), & sometimes that gets lumped in as ADD...

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