My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please know that.

As for your son's choice to spend some time living with Dad, well, I'm sure it's a very tough thing to cope with considering the discrepancies you've witnessed in his ability to father. The fact that you're fretting over this shows that you are keeping the best interest of your son first and foremost in your thoughts. I'm sure you will continue to do so, regardless of where he is physically located. (((((((TT)))))))

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.